I'll Catch You When You Fall a Faberry story
by mismartinez a girl I once knew
Summary: Quinn and Rachel are married, but after Rachel admits to being unfaithful Quinn moves out. After losing Brittany Santana does what she can to get them back together. Hope you guys enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

It's never an easy task trying to pick your-self up after a massive down fall. As humans it's almost part of our nature to stay down; the fear of falling is a fear like no other. Nothing compares to losing all sense of stability and having to force yourself to carry on even though more stumbling is to come along the way. The worst part is knowing that you're the only one to blame for the set back. It always hurts more when you're the reason behind all the pain.

Occasionally I walk around the park to prove to myself that there is life outside of these four walls. I glance at people as they pass me by and wonder what comes to mind when they see me. I was once even given a dollar by a young girl walking beside me. I didn't take it but forced out a smile as I wished her a good day, I would give anything just to be able to say I had a good day. I don't even remember what one feels like.

The closest I ever come to having a good day is when I force myself to go back. When I actually take the time to sit down and exert all of my memories into the present, only then can I potentially smile. I was given a glimpse of what could have been, only to never see it again.

I use to think that it was never a good thing to feel sorry for your-self. I believed that the moment you victimized yourself there was no way of ever making a recovery. I believed that you simply had to take what was in front of you and allow it to make you stronger, but I was foolish to ever think that. How can losing everything possibly make me stronger? I don't pity myself because I deserve my current state of being, but I don't have any hope that things will ever get better. I simply allow the days pass me by, until I am lucky enough to fall asleep here, and wake up next to her, where ever she is now.

Chapter 1

It had been a month since Quinn attended work. At first she told herself that she only needed a week off to clear her head, but soon that week turned to two, then to three, until she finally reached a month. She wanted to go back but couldn't find the energy or motivation to get back up. More than anything it was exhaustion that kept her away. You would think that a month away from work would allow her to rest, but it was actually quite the opposite.

While she was at home her mind was always occupied with memories of Rachel. Even at night when she tried to sleep she was forced to wake up from her dreams which involved Rachel. It was nearly impossible to escape her. The worst part was that after each dream she was forced to deal with the reality of their separation.

To make matters worse the dreams she had weren't recent ones; they dated back to when they first met. It made it harder to come back to reality when her dreams would take her way far back. It made her miss Rachel even more. Earlier that day her dreams took her to the first time they met back in 6th grade. Rachel was the new kid, and Quinn was the grumpy kid that didn't like to be bothered. It all felt so real, it was if she could actually hear Rachel's preteen voice which was so chirpy and high pitch. Even when the girl wasn't excited she would sound like she was.

She could still hear her trying to make conversation with her even after they were told to complete their assignment in silence. "So what are the things you're going to share with the class? I'm Rachel by the way, what's yours?" Quinn wasn't much of a talker and wasn't pleased with the fact that the new girl had to sit next to her. "The teacher said she didn't want us talking before we presented, so I can't tell you." Not getting the hint Rachel insisted on asking for her name again. "Oh that's right, I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to share so I wanted to get some ideas. What did you say your name was again?" Quinn didn't mean to come off as rude but she just told the girl her name before she continued to work in silence. "Quinn? That's a very pretty name! Do you know the meaning behind it?" Quinn just shook her head "I don't know my mom just got the name out of some old show she watched" Rachel was even more fascinated by that idea "Really that's awesome! So your name is like a soap opera name? I wish my name had a cool story. My dads just named me Rachel because they thought it was pretty, to be honest I prefer my middle name! Who wouldn't want the privilege of being named after the great Barbra Streisand?"  
>Before Quinn could respond the girls were interrupted when the teacher Ms. Ruby approached the front of the classroom to inform them that it was time for their presentations. She asked for volunteers, and Quinn was anything but surprised when Rachel was the first to raise her hand. "Thanks sweetie come on up!" Ms. Ruby welcomed her to the front of the class with a round of applause. "Hi, well my name is Rachel Barbra Berry I'm a transferred student here. My dads and I just moved from California, because my Daddy Michael got transferred to a hospital here in Ohio. I love collecting gold stars, they're sort of my thing and vegan vanilla ice cream, well I don't collect it, but I do love it! It's my favorite thing to eat. I also compete in choir competitions, well I did before we moved here, but I hope to start competing again soon. I guess that's it for me. Thanks!" While Rachel was presenting Quinn found herself smiling. Although the girl got under her skin, there was something about her that Quinn could more than tolerate.<p>

When it was Quinn's turn to present the whole class was restless because she was the last one, and lunch was right after. It was bad enough that Quinn hated speaking in front of a crowd so the side conversations didn't help calm her nerves. "Um my name is Quinn Fabray" Quinn didn't notice but when she spoke it wasn't much louder than a whisper. "Honey try to speak up so that we can all hear you from back here" Ms. Ruby instructed as Quinn gave it another shot, but when the class didn't seem to settle down Rachel turned around to shhh them. That action didn't go unnoticed by Quinn who broke into smile before she continued. "My Name is Quinn Fabray" after sounding much louder she received a thumbs up from Ms. Ruby and a smile from Rachel that encouraged her to go on. "I'm twelve years old— my birthday is October 10th, my red is my favorite color, I have an older sister who is in high school and is a cheer leader. When she has free time she shows me some moves so that I'm ready for when I inter high school and become a cheerio— I think that's it, can I sit down now?" She asked as she turned to look as Ms. Ruby. Ms. Ruby laughed and nodded at the same time. "Thank you guys for sharing that with me. Now let's get ready for lunch".

At lunch Quinn was planning on avoiding Rachel because even though the girl managed to make her smile she kind of wanted her space so she tried to lose her in the lunch line. Once Quinn got her tray she headed towards the tables. Much to her surprise Rachel was already seated and called her out. "Quinn! Over here I saved you a seat!" Quinn tried to pretend like she didn't hear her but it was too late because the tiny girl got up to wave at her and everything. She was left with no choice but to join her. "Thanks for saving me a seat" she managed to say half smiling. "Oh yea no problem" Rachel took out some Jolly Ranchers and handed a red one to Quinn. "Here take the cherry one it's red so you should like it." Quinn smiled at the girl's gesture. Not only did she pay attention to her presentation but she nailed her favorite Jolly Rancher. "Thanks the cherry ones are actually my favorite." "Oh no biggie I love them all so it's no problem— so um do you really know some cheer leading moves? I've taken ballet since I could walk because my dad wanted me to start preparing for Broadway as soon as possible, but to be honest it isn't all that fun." There was an actual silence before she started speaking again. "Do you um maybe think you can teach me— some moves please?" Quinn would normally be extremely annoyed with the behavior Rachel was presenting, but somehow things were different with Rachel. Even when she wasn't aware of it the girl had her smiling. "We'll see what we can do" before she could continue Rachel was already smiling and squealing. "Did you just agree to teach me?" Quinn couldn't help but laugh at how excited the girl was. "Yea but it will cost you plenty of cherry Jolly Ranchers!"

Quinn woke up to the sound of her phone vibrating, but to her disappointment she was no longer twelve years old, or in 6th grade for that matter. She was back in the present at age 32 lying down on the couch of her empty studio. She had rented it almost immediately after Rachel confessed that she had been unfaithful. She considered kicking her out of their apartment but she knew it would be much too painful staying there without her. Hell it was just as hard moving out so she couldn't imagine what it would have been like if she stayed.

As she sat up she tried shaking away her dream but it made things worse when she looked at her phone and realized she had received a text from Rachel *I can't sleep, I miss you soooooooo much! Please answer my calls, or at least reply to my texts. I don't blame you for hating me, truth is I hate myself for allowing things to get out of hand, but I love you with all my heart! YOU'RE STILL MY WIFE! Can we please talk?* It broke Quinn's heart even more to read the "You're still my wife" portion of the text because it reminded her of how that didn't cross Rachel's mind when she cheated. Quinn just broke down and coped by crying herself to sleep yet again.

While Quinn slept she zoomed in and out of dreams involving memories of Rachel, making her morning the next day quite difficult. "Quinn Fabray!" She heard a loud shout coming from the door of her studio. "Q open up! I promised your mom I would make sure you made it back on time." Even without getting up she knew that the voice outside of her door belonged to none other than Santana. Santana and Quinn had been friends since the 7th grade. In reality he was best friends with Rachel and Quinn so she was left in a very difficult predicament when Quinn moved out. She cared for both of the girls equally and hated taking sides. She claimed to stay out of it, but deep down she couldn't help but to be upset with Rachel. She knew that the girl was madly in love with Quinn so she didn't understand how she could cause her so much pain and manage to hurt herself in the process. "Girl if you don't open this door I will break it down, and God forbid you're in your underwear, because then shit will go down!" she yelled right as Quinn managed to get to the door. "Don't get your panties caught in a bunch!" she teased as she walked in. "Oh girl I don't mean to be rude or anything, but you look like crap! You need to get your ass in the shower while I make you some coffee and try to come up with something for you to wear on your first day back." Quinn just rolled her eyes at her, and couldn't help but smile. Santana was the only person, other than Rachel that managed to put a smile on her face even when things seemed to be going wrong. Of course Quinn would never admit it to her because of her whole HBIC motto, but they always had each other's backs. "San you have such a way with words" she said as she entered the bathroom.

While Quinn was in the shower Santana tried to tidy up the place. Apparently Quinn had been living off of Frosted Flakes, and Ramen Noodles. She also didn't seem to be doing much cleaning because her dishes were all over the place. "Here I thought I was the messy one" she said to herself as she connected Quinn's iPod to the docking station. Since the iPod was on shuffle she didn't realize that the song that was playing was _I'll Never Break Your Heart _by the Backstreet Boys. Normally she would just let song after song play even if it wasn't her particular style, but that was the song that Rachel played when she proposed to Quinn.

She tried to change the track before Quinn heard it but it was too late. "Darling, why can't you see, I'll never break your heart. I'll never make you cry. I rather die than live without you" Quinn managed to sing along with a sarcastic tone and bitterly laughed when she finished. "I'm so glad she used that song when she asked if I would spend the rest of my life with her" She started to tear up, and it broke Santana's heart to see her that way. The last time she had witnessed Quinn that miserable was in high school when she had to give Beth up, and they weren't that close during that time so she wasn't there for her, so she was going to do whatever was in her hands to fix things. Santana always struggled when it came to expressing herself verbally, it just wasn't her thing. "Q drink your coffee. I made it just the way you like it" she said as she placed the cup in front of her and sat across her with her own. "Thanks San I seriously don't know what I would do without you." She smiled before he spoke "girl you would be so lost!"

After a couple of laughs they both fell into a comfortable silence but it was quickly disturbed when Santana's phone vibrated. She looked down to read the text, and the look on her face said it all. Quinn knew that the message she had received was from Rachel. "What does she want? She just doesn't get it!" she pretty much shouted as she got up to get more coffee. "Q, you know you both are my girls, sure Berry pushes it sometime with her over the top antics, but you know I can't take sides, plus I never made you take sides when it came to… Brits." before she could continue she was cut off. "I would never ask you to take sides, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't give her any information on me! There is a reason why I don't respond to her texts, or answer any of her calls!" After realizing that her tone was a bit stern she sat back down and apologized. "S, I'm sorry I don't mean to lash out at you, but I'm seriously starting to get tired of her going out of her way to reach me. I told her I needed time before I could speak to her and she doesn't seem to get it!" Although Santana was a bit startled she more than understood where Quinn was coming from and didn't take it personal. She just nodded in agreement. "She does get it Q, but you do realize that it has been six months! Six months since she last seen or heard from her wife! She's just worried and" once again he was interrupted by Quinn. "Bullshit!" she said as she mockingly laughed, and slammed her coffee mug in the sink. "Rachel isn't worried, and you know that! Worrying about someone implies that you actually have to care for them, and you know that's not the case when it comes to her!" Quinn began to cry as she finished what she was saying.

She didn't understand how Rachel still managed to get the best out of her, In spite of not seeing her for six months. She let herself fall to the ground as she took off her wedding band and tossed it towards the trash bin. Even after moving out she wasn't able to take it off because she feared that taking it off made things official, and even after everything that had happend she wasn't sure if that's what she really wanted. For some reason after speaking to Santana she realized that it was real. She hadn't seen her wife in six whole months, and she still felt like she wasn't ready for it, so the ring came off. "Honey what are you doing?" Santana questioned as she got up to pick up the ring. "You can't throw this away!" Santana knew that Quinn needed her space, but he never thought that a divorce would be the outcome of her move.

Quinn and Rachel were meant to be. They had their ups and downs before, but in the end it only made their relationship stronger, so it was difficult to consider them not being together ever again. "Q you can't possibly throw away twenty years?" Quinn managed to look up at her best friend "I didn't throw it away, she did! I wasn't the one who decided to fuck someone else! A guy to be exact! Does that mean I never had her satisfied? Was I ever…" this time she was the one that was interrupted. "Don't say that! You know that's not true, whenever you two were together you couldn't keep your hands off each other. It was just a stupid drunk mistake, and she told you about it Quinn. You're the love of her life not Finn! The douche bag just took advantage of her vulnerable situation!" Quinn got up from the floor not letting her finish. "I know I said that I would never make you choose sides, but it's a little too late for that because you're obviously team Rachel!" Quinn spat out as she picked up her phone and began to dial a number.

After a couple of rings the person on the other line picked up. "Hey Mary, this is Mrs. Berry-Fabray. Yea fine thank you I was actually just calling to let you know that I won't be able to start off today. I have a doctor's appointment later on today, but everything should be set to go by the end of the week. If anything I'll just give you a call to let you know. Ok thank you very much, see you soon." Santana couldn't believe she wasn't going back to work. She was aware of her sick days, but being idle at home wasn't doing Quinn any good. "Fabray you need to snap out of it! You can't stay at home and keep hiding from your problems! In fact don't you think that it's a bit hypocritical that you're the school counselor and you're doing the exact opposite of what you expect your students to do?"

That comment was all it took to set Quinn off. "Fuck you Lopez! You can't come here and judge me like that! When was the last time you were even in a relationship San? You couldn't even make things right by Britt, you just let her go without a fight, so what do you even know about anything?" She knew it was a low blow, but she was at the point of no return. "I'm a grown woman and I can so whatever the hell I want you got that?" Santana just nodded with tears in her eyes as she approached Quinn and gently cupped her hands on her face. "Q, it's exactly because of… Britt and I. You know this is hard for me, but I can't so you do the same thing I did. Maybe it's too late for me, and I know it's not my place to be telling you all of this, but I say it because I love you! I know it's harsh, but sometimes the people we love need to be roughed up a bit, and you're a Cheerio so I know you're tough! I've known you nearly as long as your wife has. Do I need to remind you about the way you guys ended up together to begin with?" She said as she placed a warming kiss on her forehead. "No you don't need to remind me, it's bad enough she's with me in my dreams. I don't need to relive our stories while I'm awake as well. It's like you said, I fought for her once before, I don't want to, nor do I have to fight for her again. What I need is for you to help me clean up this mess once and for all. I need for you to start up a divorce file for me as soon as possible".

Santana couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew that Rachel had really messed up, and secretly hated her for it, but she didn't even want to picture how things would be if her two best friends would actually call things off. The two had already been through so much in the past, so she figured that with time this would only be a hurdle across their path. She had been there for the girls from the very beginning of their relationship. Way before they both realized they belonged together. She and Brittany were even there the day that Rachel decided to propose (well they weren't there but they helped with the preparations). All along it was Quinn that intended on proposing but Rachel sneakily switched gears on their third Valentine's Day together.

After a minute of trying to process everything Santana finally spoke. "Q are you saying that you no longer love her?" she feared the answer she might get in return, but it was important to get it all out. "Of course not I still love her, with all my heart like I always have. That's why I have to end it. I'm afraid that if I try to get back with her I won't be able to forgive her- and what if that then it turns to hate?" she paused for a moment as if she was searching for her own answer. "I can't hate her San! I love her way too much for that to happen." As she finished her last words she couldn't help but begin to cry.


	2. Chapter 2

**BTW: I changed the title of this story because I felt that it was a better fit to the story. I hope it doesn't keep you guys away, and also I apologize for the grammatical errors in my previous chapter. I tried editing it once I uploaded but it didn't let me so this time I did the editing beforehand. **

**Quick thanks to (****1alittlelambfan and to Fate-187) for their input. I appreciate your words guys **

Chapter 3

Without realizing it the afternoon snuck up on them, so Santana decided that she too would call off work. Since neither of them had actually eaten she decided to go to the store and pick something up because Quinn clearly had no intention of doing that on her own. While she was out she convinced Quinn to go for a jog. That always helped her clear her mind and helped her release stress, which she desperately needed.

At the store Santana was having a hard time deciding on what to take. Every aisle that she went through caused her to crave something new. That was the reason why she never went to the store with an empty stomach. After a good twenty minutes of debating on whether or not she wanted waffles or pancakes she finally made it out of the store with frozen waffles, a carton of eggs, a pack of bacon, some orange juice and a loaf of bread. As she was making her way to her car her phone went off. She expected it to be Quinn so she answered the phone without looking at the name. "Alright alright I know you're starving but you try coming to the store on an empty…" she was cut off by a familiar voice, but it wasn't Quinn's. "San how did you know I was starving? I text you earlier but you never replied. I was just wondering if maybe you had seen, or heard from Quinn lately?" her heart started racing. For some reason she always felt like she was cheating on the girls whenever she was spending time with one, and the other tried to get a hold of her. "Berry hey! I'm sorry about that. I didn't reply because I was charging my phone and I- I somehow lost track of time."

Rachel knew her friend much too well. Whenever she got nervous, or lied her normal raspy voice became high pitched. She quickly learned that after winning 200 dollars off of her in poker. "You were with her, weren't you? Is she there with you now? I just want to know how she's doing." It was difficult for Santana to hear the desperation in Rachel's voice. She wasn't her usual head strong self. She actually sounded broken. A part of Santana just wanted to tell her everything so that she knew Quinn still loved her, but at the same time she had promised Quinn that she wouldn't inform Rachel of her ware bouts. "Rach I- um she's fine ok, she just isn't ready to talk to you. Just give her some time." She stopped talking when she heard Rachel crying on the other end. "Time? Time is all I've been giving her! I need to see her. I need to hold her, I need to hear her voice and kiss her! I need her arms to hold me at night when I can't sleep! Please San, I need my wife back! Can you get her to speak to me? Even if all she does is yell, I just want to hear her voice again! Please San! I need to hear her voice!" Santana couldn't take it anymore. There was only so much crying he could take in a day. Before she knew it she was crying right along with her.

"Rach, I wish I could, I really do, but Q is hurting just as bad as you are, and you can't blame her for feeling that way. Berry I hate to say it, but you betrayed her. You broke her heart." Rachel knew Santana was right, and that hurt her even more. She hated the idea of Quinn being in pain, and it pained her even more to know that she was the reason behind it. "You're right" she managed to say by choking back on some tears. "That is why I am going to-"there was a sigh before she continued "ask her for a divorce"

Santana couldn't believe what she was hearing, not once but twice the topic of divorce was brought up that day. When Quinn first mentioned it to her she figured it was just something that she said out of desperation and fear, but that she would soon come to her senses. When Rachel mentioned it to her it hit her like a ton of bricks. She couldn't bare the idea of her friend's separation. She didn't want to see them experience what she did with Brittany. She just couldn't.

After a brief moment of silence she finally spoke up. "Rachel, I- I honestly don't know what to say right now. I have to let you go, because I'm actually going to cook her some breakfast. You do know our Quinnie has been living off of Frosted Flakes and Ramen noodles. I guess she really does miss your cooking." The image of Quinn fending for herself in the kitchen caused Rachel to let out a chuckle. Quinn had many talents but cooking wasn't one of them. "Awww my poor baby! She can't fry and egg to save her dear life. What are you going to cook for her? If you make her eggs I suggest that you scramble them and add extra cheese, although I wouldn't dare consume that myself I always enjoyed preparing that for her. Oh and make sure to add lots of pepper she loves that!" "Okay, Berry take a breath will you? I'll feed Q whatever is at my hands, she's lucky I even went to the store for her! On a serious note though I have to seriously let you go because I am dead starving and I bet blondie is too! I'll give you a call later though."

With that they ended their conversation and Santana made her way to Quinn's place. When she made her way inside she had to do a double take because it didn't look like she had left it. Apparently the jog did Quinn some good, because she had music blasting and was actually picking up after herself. "Dios mio, who are you and what have you done to Fabray?" she said with a laugh. "Shut it Lopez! It was the jog, it actually really helped me clear my head, but I'm starving so start cooking before I eat my last packet of Ramen!" Santana just rolled her eyes as she smacked Quinn's ass and made her way into the kitchen. "Don't push it Q, or I'll leave you to cook for yourself! But seriously I'm glad you're doing better. I honestly don't think I could take anymore tears from you both. I- I um so it's nice out huh?" She tried to cover up her spill but it was too late. "You both? Is that why you took so long? Were you with her Benedict Arnold?"

Santana couldn't believe that Quinn had referred to her as Benedict Arnold. It was bad enough she felt guilty, because she had to speak to them on separate terms. "I wasn't with her Q! I took forever because every item in that freaking store called my name so I couldn't decide on what to get." She paused for a while before she whispered the last part. "I did speak to her over the phone…"She thought she could get away with it but once again Quinn had heard her. "Wait, what was that?" "I only answered because I thought it was you. I didn't bother looking at the name and just answered the phone… She's a mess you know? She really misses you Q!" Quinn stood there quietly taking it all in before she could speak. "I think I'll just have some toast and OJ thanks." That was all she said before she walked out to the living room. Santana just sighed as she continued to cook. If there was a trait that they both shared it was their stubbornness. There was no way of getting through to each other so she just let her be.

Even though Quinn had clearly stated that she only wanted toast and OJ Santana still decided to make her scrambled eggs the way Rachel had instructed her and placed them in front of her on the coffee table. Scrambled eggs, double the cheese and some pepper, my fave! Rachel told you didn't she?" Santana nodded " Yea… I know you asked me not to tell her about you but…" before she could continue she was interrupted. "It's okay San! I was actually thinking that I've had enough time to think, so I plan on speaking to her tomorrow after she gets out of work. If you see her later on today tell her I'm going to give her a call".

******************* FLASH BACK *********************

"Babe?" Rachel asked as she lied awake with Quinn's head resting on her chest. "mhhhm" Quinn managed to get out half asleep. "Did you ever, I mean don't you think it's strange that we ended up together?" After hearing that Quinn was no longer half asleep. She raised her head and gave her girlfriend a look of confusion. Realizing how bad that sounded Rachel rephrased what she had said. "No baby, I don't mean that in a bad way. I was just I don't know thinking about our first encounter together. You seemed quite bothered by me at first, when all I ever wanted was your friendship, and nothing more. All you did was push me away!" she said as she reached over to smack her girlfriend on her arm. "Ouch! Rachel! Geez babe that hurt." Quinn said as she gave her famous pouty face. "Oh baby! I'm so sorry, come here so I can make it feel better" Rachel said as she reached over to kiss the red section of her girlfriend's arm. "Is that better now?" Quinn shook her head and her pouty face remained as she pointed to her lips. "Oh I see you want a kiss? Well all you have to do is ask silly girl" She moved so that she was slightly on top of Quinn and went for her lips. The kiss was gentle but filled with love. It was all it took to wipe the pouty look off of Quinn's face.

"Now that's much better!" Quinn said with a smirk. "Somehow your kisses always do the trick. I always feel so much better right after." Rachel couldn't help but blush. Even though they had known each other for such a long time Quinn always managed to get the best of her and make her feel all warm, and right inside. She didn't think it was possible but she still felt the butterflies in her stomach as if it were the first time. "Baby, you're such a dork! You know that?" Quinn mocked a look of hurt. "Yea I guess that's why you find it soooo STRANGE that we're together" she made sure to emphasize on strange once again mocking Rachel. "Oh come on you know that's not what I meant! It's just that I never in a million years would've thought that I would end up being with a girl." Once more Rachel ended up saying the total opposite of what she had intended, and the look of pain on Quinn's face was no longer a playful one.

"Are you questioning whether or not you actually want to be with me? Do- do you still love Finn?" Quinn asked terrified of what she might hear. Seeing the look of fear in her girlfriend's eyes broke Rachel's heart, especially because that was the furthest from the truth. She loved Quinn with all her heart and didn't even want to consider what life would be like without her. Worrying that her words could get twisted again she gently reached for Quinn's hand and placed it on her chest.

"Do you feel that?" Quinn nodded. "Well it only does that when I'm with you, I've never felt like this before, not with Finn, not with anyone other than you. When I'm with you it's like nothing else matters, but us. I'm not that well with expressing myself outside of my singing; because what I intend on saying gets all twisted up and it comes out all wrong, but Quinn please don't ever question my love for you! You're as essential to me as the air I take in with each breath. I don't even want to think about how much life would suck without you!" After seeing a strand of tear falling down Quinn's faces she worried that once more she had done something wrong. "Ugh I really do suck at this! Baby I'm sorry! Please don't cry! I hate seeing tears fall from those gorgeous eyes." Quinn smiled and pulled her towards herself until all gaps between them were closed and kissed her with every ounce of passion she had. She wanted that kiss to show Rachel that her tears were tears of happiness because what Rachel had said was exactly how she felt about her. She couldn't have been happier. After a few minutes Quinn pulled away for air. "I love you Rachel Barbra Berry, I always have, and always will".

**I just want to give quick thanks to those of you have already added this list to you favorites, and to your alerts. It honestly means a lot to me and makes me look forward to updating each chapter. Let me know your thoughts about this chapter. Is there anything you guys want to seen in particular? I look forward to hearing from you. Until then I hope you enjoy! Xoxo A girl I once know**


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright guys I was asked to leave spaces between each character's lines because it was difficult to read it, so I'm going to give it a shot. Let me know if this is better, and once again thanks for the feedback, and for adding my story to your alerts!**

After having "breakfast" with Quinn Santana messaged Rachel letting her know that she had something important to tell her so she asked her to meet up with her at her apartment once she was done with rehearsal. As soon as Rachel was done she rushed out of the theater without saying a word to anyone. Santana hadn't specified what she needed to say, but thanks to her previous experiences Rachel automatically assumed the worst.

When she arrived at her apartment Santana had already let herself in. She was sitting on the couch with a glass of wine for herself and one waiting for Rachel. "This can't be good! Jesus San just tell me already!" Santana couldn't help but smirk when she saw the look of worry on Rachel's face.

"Berry relax no one said anything about it being bad news, I just said I had something important to tell you." Not getting the point Rachel continued to look flustered, and confused.

"Well spit it out then! You made me rush out of rehearsal, and then I come home to find you with a glass of wine in hand, and one already set aside for me. What am I suppose to think? Usually you only bring out the wine when it's something bad!" Feeling sorry for her friend Santana motioned for the smaller girl to join her on the couch. Rachel obliged but the silence was driving her crazy. "Santana Lopez, will you quit it with the suspense and tell me already?" Santana enjoyed seeing her friend squirm because she knew that once she heard that Quinn was ready to speak to her she would be back to her usual Rachel Berry ways.

"Okay Berry chill will ya? As you know I was with Q earlier today, and well after some reflecting and what not she kinda came to terms with the whole situation, and she decided that-" the anticipation was reaching a whole other level with Rachel.

"She decided what San?" With a huge smile on her face Santana continued.

"She decided that she was ready to talk to you. She actually asked me to tell to expect a call later on today so that you guys can make arrangements." After Santana finished speaking Rachel was left stunned. It was like she was there, but at the same time she wasn't, and it really threw Santana off guard, because Rachel Barbra Berry-Fabray was never silent, especially after great news like that. She really expected the small girl to be jumping off the walls with excitement, but what she showed was the total opposite.

"Berry did you hear me? Your wife is going to call you tonight so that you guys can arrange to meet up." Once again Rachel just stood quiet with a deer in the head lights look. It was actually beginning to worry Santana.

"Rach, hey are you okay?" This time Rachel managed to nod and smiled a bit, but still remained as quiet as a mouse.

"What's wrong Rach? I really thought you would be dead excited to hear this?" Santana moved closer to her friend and wrapped a comforting arm around her. Rachel immediately fell into the embrace and began to cry.

"This is what I wanted! I just can't believe it's actually happening. I was beginning to think that I was never going to see her ever again. I- I was actually expecting her to flat out decide to leave town, and never bother telling me. I mean come on San it's been six whole months and I'm just going to hear her voice. I just can't take it anymore! I miss her so bad." Santana started rocking the girl back and forth to sooth her.

"Come on Rach, this is a step closer to fixing things. I'm not saying that things are going to magically get better after today, but at least after today you'll have an idea of where you guys stand." Once she assured Rachel that everything would be ok she left the smaller girl to rest so that she would be prepared for when Quinn called her.

After Santana left Rachel forced herself to take a nap. All the crying she had been taking part in made it difficult for sleep to consume her at night, so she tried to take naps whenever her schedule allowed her to. After about an hour or so she woke up to check her phone just in case Quinn had called while she was asleep, but there were no missed calls, or new messages. She was beginning to think that Quinn had changed her mind, until a familiar ringtone came from her phone. She didn't think it was possible for a ringtone to bring her so much happiness, but it did. She was so caught up in the moment that she almost forgot to pick up the phone.

"Shit! Hello, hello…" due to her hesitation with answering the phone the first word that came out of Rachel's mouth was "shit" she didn't intend for that to be the first word she spoke to her wife in six months, but her nerves got the best of her. Quinn was caught off guard when she heard her wife, and it wasn't even due to the curse word. The fact that it was her wife's actual voice was enough to leave her speechless. She had forgotten how beautiful and angelic Rachel's voice was and it brought her to tears in that instant.

"Hello? Q- Quinn are you there? Hello?" When Rachel only heard silence she assumed, and feared that she was too late, but before she could hang up she heard a faint whisper.

"Yes… I'm here." She wasn't sure how she managed to say that aloud but she did. After that there was a bit of silence. Neither of them knew what to say, it had been so long since they had heard each other's voice so it left them stunned. Once the silence became too loud to deal with they both attempted to speak at the same time.

"listen…" Rachel tried to start off, but was quickly interrupted with Quinn's attempt at starting the conversation.

"Hey- um" Before they knew it they fell into a soothing laughter. They somehow found comfort in knowing that it was a frightful situation for the both of them. Once the laughter ceased it was Quinn who carried the conversation, or at least attempted to when she wasn't struggling with her words.

"Rachel I um, well see- do you… maybe we should." It honestly melted Rachel's heart to hear her wife sounding so nervous; it reminded her of when they first started dating. Quinn was always afraid to take charge, even if she never admitted it; it was always Rachel that took charge. She was enjoying every minute of it, but when she noticed that Quinn simply couldn't get it out she interrupted.

"It's okay honey, San told me that you wanted to maybe meet up?" When Rachel used the word honey to refer to Quinn it caused an uneasy feeling at the pit of her stomach. As much as she enjoyed the term of endearment it enraged her that Rachel thought she still had privilege of calling her that after what she had done. That was all it took for Quinn to get into her HBIC mood.

"Before anything let's get one thing straight! I am not your honey, so don't use that word when you're speaking to me. You lost that right when you did…" She couldn't even bring herself to finish that sentence, so once more Rachel cut in, but her voice was no longer gentle, it actually sounded like she was on the verge of tears, but was fighting the urge.

"I- I get it okay, I didn't mean for it to come out it just sort of did, but I promise I will be more cautious when I speak to you. Does this mean we aren't going to meet up anymore?" She was afraid that Quinn had indeed changed her mind, but she needed to know, even if it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"No I didn't say that. Enough time has gone by, and I think it's important that we speak in person once and for all. Does tomorrow around this time work for you?"

Worried of saying anything that might change Quinn's mind Rachel simply agreed.

"Yes it does."

"Okay then Berry tomorrow it is. See you then." It tore Rachel on the inside hearing her wife call her by her last name, especially without the Fabray attached to it. She couldn't remember the last time Quinn had called her that. It just served as a reminder of how bad she had screwed up, but all she could do was take it in.

"See you then." With that the girls ended their first conversation in six months. It wasn't exactly how they anticipated for it to go, but at the same time they knew it could have been so much worse.

The following morning woke up to the sound of her phone; apparently Santana thought that 6 in the morning was a perfect time to go for a jog.

"San are you crazy it should be illegal to do anything, beside's taking a trip to Starbucks and get coffee, and even then I rather just make my own coffee in the comfort of my own home." Santa was used to Quinn's morning mood, but she really needed her friend to help her clear her head.

"Come on Q I promise to buy you coffee right afterwards. I just need you to help me out with something before I have to go to work." Reluctantly Quinn got out of bed and got dressed.

"Ugh fine Lopez, but that means I get a Venti of my choosing, and a muffin." Santana laughed at her friend's request.

"Yea yea whatever, but I mean don't you think that would defeat the whole purpose of our jog?"

"Hey don't judge! You're getting me out of bed at an outrages time, so it's only fair that I indulge in what I please afterwards."

"Fine, but don't come to me when all that goes to your ass!" Santana couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you calling me fat Lopez? Oh your ass is so mine! Let's not forget who the captain of the cheerios was when we were both in the squad at the same time. I can still make you cry."

"Is that a challenge Fabray? Because let's NOT forget that I am from LIMA HEIGHTS, and no one can throw it down like me! I can so ENDZ you!" This time it was Quinn who began to laugh. It had been awhile since Santana had brought up her upbringing in Lima Heights so it made her laugh at the memories it provided.

"You're right! How could I forget? Anyway Miss Lima Heights! I'm heading out of my studio; do you want me to meet you at the park?"

"That's right don't you forget it blondie, and yea I should be there in 10."

"Okay San I'll see you then."

Apparently the reason why Santana insisted on meeting up with Quinn was of more importance than she led on to be. Over the phone Quinn couldn't sense it, but in person it was evident that something was bugging her. It was written all over her face.

"San, hey what's wrong?" Quinn asked filled with concern.

"Nothing Q, why do you ask?"

"Don't give me that bullshit San it's written all over your face, and to come to think about it, you hate jogging with me! You say I distract you from giving it your all, so what is it? Just tell me." Knowing each other for so long was both a blessing and a curse, because that meant that they could tell when the other was bluffing, which was also part of the reason why Santana hated playing poker with both she and Rachel.

"How do you do it Q?" Santana let out a sigh before she continued.

"I- seeing what you and Rachel have been going through has made me realize how much I miss Brittany, so I messaged her sister yesterday just to say hi, and- it turns out that Britt is actually going to be here this weekend. According to her sister she has a big dance audition so she's leaving Ohio tomorrow night." Tears started to well up in Santana's eyes so Quinn cupped her face to stop them from streaming down her face, and pulled her friend into a hug.

"Oh my God San, what are you going to do? You can't let this pass you by without talking to her." Santana pulled away and gave Quinn her back.

"That's the thing Quinn I can't talk to her! What can I even tell her? Too much time has gone by… what if she has already moved on… it's just pointless."

"Santana Lopez! We're talking about Brittany here! The girl had been madly in love with you since you guys were in the Pre-K, the girl that stood beside you all through high school and never once turned her back on you. You and I both know that Brittany has the biggest heart out there, and there is nothing you can do to make her refuse you." Santana just shook her head at everything Quinn had told her.

"No Q! I broke her heart! That sweet innocent heart was ripped apart by me! I will never forgive myself for causing her so much pain, even if she did find it in her heart to forgive me." Before she knew it she was having a break down in the middle of Central Park, and there was nothing that Quinn could do to stop her, so she just held her in her arms the same way Santana had done for her many times before.

"I'm sorry Q, I know it's kind of selfish of me to dump all of this on you when you have a pretty big day ahead of you. It's just that I honestly didn't know what to do- and…" before she could continue Quinn cut her off.

"Lopez you don't have to apologize for anything! What kind of HBIC's would we be if we asked each other for forgiveness? Besides I don't think you're doing a good job of representing the Heights by doing that." Quinn said with a wink which caused Santana to burst out in laughter.

"Q I honestly don't know what I would do without you!"

"Girl! You would be so lost!" Once again Quinn ended with a wink.

Shortly after they finished their "jog" they made their way to Starbucks where Quinn got her Venti Caramel Macchiato, and a blueberry muffin just like Santana promised. After Quinn finished her coffee, and muffin the girls went their separate ways, but agreed to catch up after Quinn had seen Rachel. Even though Quinn's stomach had been in knots all morning she played it off, because she didn't want to burden Santana with more that she was already dealing with, but once she was back in her place her nerves got the best of her.

There was a part of her who wanted to get the whole thing over with, and a part of her that wanted to call Rachel up and cancel everything. She didn't even want to think about what it was going to be like to have her wife in front of her after such a long time. She worried that her desire to hold her in her arms would over power her feelings, and it would lead to something she would regret. She tried to keep herself occupied by organizing her closet as she looked for something to wear, but that only made her think of Rachel.

Rachel was always the neatest one of the two, and would always nag at Quinn when she left her clothes all over the place, which then led to Rachel organizing all of Quinn's clothes according to color. Sometimes Quinn secretly thought that Rachel was OCD, obviously not as bad as Ms. Pillsbury, but it was noticeable, but she never dared say. Once her closet didn't look as messy, she decided to take a nap. After all Santana had disturbed her much needed beauty sleep.

When she woke up it was going to be 4, which meant she had about an hour to get ready before she was suppose to meet up with Rachel at what use to be their apartment. She quickly showered, and got ready. She decided on keeping it simple. She wanted to look good, but at the same time she didn't want Rachel to think that she went out of her way to dress up for her. So she decided on some black legging with a red baby doll top to match her red flats, and decided to leave her hair down with its natural wavy look to it. She gave herself one look in the mirror and decided to head out. It was 5 when she left her studio. Rachel got out of work at 6 and their apartment was 45 minutes away from Quinn's studio so she figured it would give her enough time.

What she didn't know was that Rachel had actually called off work because she could hardly get any sleep after their conversation over the phone. She worried that their meeting in person would be much worse so she decided on baking Quinn's favorite red velvet vegan cup cakes to at least keep them occupied as they talked. She also spent most of her time trashing her closet as she looked for something to wear, because unlike Quinn she wanted to wear something that would totally leave Quinn mesmerized.

Without realizing it she had made two batches of cup cakes, and still hadn't found something to wear. When she looked at the time she realized it 5:30 which only gave her 30 minutes to take a shower and pick out something to wear before Quinn arrived. Things were already not going her way. When she got out of the shower it was 5:45, so she rushed to her room and picked out a black pair of skinny jeans. Right as she was zipping them up the door bell rang.

"Great the one time I'm running late Quinn decides to be on time! Just perfect!" She said to herself as the bell went off again.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" As soon as she opened the door everything sort of just went numb, her legs felt like they were just going to give up on her right then and there. She was captivated by the beauty of her wife that all negative feeling left her body, and was left with nothing but the desire to hold her wife in her arms. Rachel was so caught up in the moment that she didn't even notice when Quinn turned to give her her back.

"I didn't know you were going topless now!" Quinn said with a chuckle. With all the rushing that she was doing she managed to walk right to the door topless, no bra, no nothing, just her bare chest out in the open. When she realized her current state of being she couldn't help but blush.

"Ugh shit Quinn! For once I'm the one that's late, while you decide to be on time!" she all but whispered as she rushed into what use to be their room. Quinn couldn't help, but laugh at the situation. She always enjoyed witnessing a flustered Rachel. She had to admit that before Rachel got to the door, she anticipated leaving, because of how uneasy she was feeling, but that all escaped her mind when Rachel got to the door. She wouldn't say it aloud, but her wife left her feeling so hot. She could tell she had just gotten out of the shower because of the way her hair was still dripping, and well she was half naked. Six months was way too long to be kept away from that body. She didn't know how she had managed for so long.

A few minutes later Rachel made her way back to the living room where Quinn was busy typing away on her phone. This time when she approached her wife she had her hair up in a messy bun, and was wearing simple black tank top, which happened to show a fair amount of cleavage. Although Quinn had obviously seen her fully naked plenty of times before she couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed.

"I- I um am sorry about earlier. I really didn't realize I was topless. I had just gotten out of the shower, and my hair was still wet so I was waiting until it dried off a bit before I put on my shirt, but then the door bell rang and I just finished putting on my pants, so went I went for the door, and…" Quinn could tell that Rachel was extremely nervous so she interrupted her and she reached for her hand.

"It's okay, it's not like I hadn't seen them before." As soon as she said that Rachel's cheeks instantly went from a rosy pink to a crimson red. It was actually quite adorable that Quinn still had that affect on her.

"Oh true, well um yea still I apologize for my inappropriate display of nudity I assure you that it wasn't my intention. Anyway I um made your favorite Red Velvet vegan cup cakes, and the coffee is on the pot. Do you maybe want to have one with coffee while we talk?" Quinn nodded and smiled as she followed Rachel into the kitchen completely in silence. Even though they clearly weren't making eye contact while Rachel went to the cupboard to take out a couple of plates and coffee mugs she could feel Quinn's eyes piercing through her back, and that along with the silence was enough to drive her up the wall.

She was so nervous that when she went to reach for the coffee pot she gripped on to the hot portion of it, which she immediately dropped, causing it spill all over her right hand, and leaving her to wince in pain.

"Fuck! I swear, shit! This hurts!" Quinn's protective instincts immediately kicked so she ran to her wife's side.

"Rach! Oh my God are you okay? Let me see your hand!" Overwhelmed with the way her first in counter with her wife in six months was going Rachel broke down and cried right then and there. It honestly broke Quinn's hear to see her so vulnerable, and fragile. She placed her hands on Rachel's face as she wiped away her tears.

"Hey there star bright, look at me its ok. Let's get you cleaned up, and rub some ointment on that burn. You'll be just fine I promise." She gave her a warming smile as she walked her into the restroom and pulled out the first aid kit.

"Ok now run your hand through the cold water as I go get you a clean shirt." Rachel just nodded. It felt great to have Quinn take care of her once more. She had missed that more than anything in the world. She loved how easily Quinn would come to her aid and make everything better.

"This is all I could find, under all your piles of clothes. I didn't know it they were clean or not so I just brought this." She said she handed her a white V neck.

"Now let me see your hand, actually why don't you just take off your shirt?" As soon as she said that Rachel threw her a questioning look. It was only then that she realized how bad what she had said sounded.

"I mean take off your shirt and put on the new one so that once I rub the ointment on you don't smudge it off while you try to get dressed." After her explanation Rachel let out a small laugh.

"I just thought you wanted to see me topless again." She said playfully, but almost regretted it instantly after she saw the look in Quinn' eyes.

"I'm kidding Quinnie." And just like that the uneasy feeling returned to the pit of Quinn's stomach. There was just something about Rachel's usage of her nick name that brought her back to reality.

"Yea, um I'll wait for you in the kitchen, but the ointment is right there." As Quinn walked out of the bathroom Rachel hit herself across the head.

"Stupid! Why do I always have to ruin everything?" When she made her way back into the kitchen she saw Quinn cleaning up the mess.

"You don't have to do that, sit I got it." She said as she pulled the dust pan out. Quinn just shook her head.

"It's alright, I honestly don't mind. Plus your hand is hurt so you should try not to move it so much." She said without making any eye contact, and once again the tension was way too intense for Rachel to handle.

"Quinn! Can we please just get this over with? It's driving me crazy!" There was a long pause before anything was said, and then continued.

"I- I'm so, so, so sorry for screwing up everything that we had. I understand if you hate me, but please know that I love you with…" she tried to continue but the sobs that were coming out of her mouth stopped her. Witnessing Rachel break down like that really messed with Quinn's head. More than anything she wanted to be angry with Rachel, but seeing her so torn up and weak killed her inside. All she wanted to do was hold her tight in her arms, and whisper in her ear that everything was going to be all right until she stopped crying, but she knew that wouldn't solve anything.

"I know" was all that Quinn managed to say. She wanted to say more, but that was all that came out of her mouth.

Deep down she knew that Rachel still loved her, but it didn't change the fact that she had cheated, and the fact that she had shattered Quinn's heart into pieces.

"I- I know you love me, but" she paused as she wiped her eyes.

"But sometimes love, just isn't enough! I mean it wasn't enough to stop you from screwing Finn!" She didn't intend for that last part to come out so vicious, but it was too late. Rachel sat down at the table with her head in her hands taking it all in. It pained her to know that she was the reason why they were both hurting so bad.

"I just don't get it Rachel! Do you love him? Am I not enough?" Before she could continue she was interrupted by Rachel.

"No! No! No! I don't love him! He doesn't mean anything to me Quinn! I swear to you from the bottom of my heart that I don't feel anything for him! It was all a mistake! A stupid drunk mistake! If I could take it all back I would! I would!" She looked straight at Quinn with her red puffy eyes, hoping that Quinn could see the honesty in her words.

Quinn meant the world to her there was nothing, and nobody that could ever amount to what Quinn signified to her. Quinn couldn't handle the situation any longer. It was a lot harder than she had anticipated. Rachel's explanation wasn't enough for her to take her back. How could she trust her after that?

"I don't know Rachel, I just don't know. I mean my heart wants to forgive you, and just forget about it all, but my head says otherwise." She could barely finish what she was saying; before she broke down, and let it all pour out.

This time it was Rachel's protective instinct that kicked in, as she rushed to her wife's aid. She cupped Quinn's face before she embraced her into a tight hug. It was as if Quinn was her life line and she was hanging on for dear life.

"I know Quinn I screwed up, and it truly sucks, because not having you in my life is the worst possible source of pain that I can think of. I know that I don't deserve to have you back in my life, but it doesn't mean that knowing it makes the process easier. To be honest it hurts like hell, because I know I only have myself to blame." As she finished Quinn pulled away.

"Stop it! Just stop it!" Startled Rachel backed away a bit expecting Quinn to lash out at her once and for all, but instead she nearly lost her balance when Quinn pulled her back in, until they were only centimeters apart, and then without saying a word she began kissing her. At first Rachel didn't reciprocate the kiss, but once she felt the tip of Quinn's tongue asking for access she began kissing her back with everything she had.

**Woa I can't believe how much stuff went on in this chapter! I hope that the length of it doesn't discourage you from reading it, because once again I look forward to your input. Also I just want to say that because this chapter was a little lengthy, I probably won't post until the end of the week. Hope you guys enjoy, and if you don't I hope you can share why. All opinions are truly appreciated. With that said I hope you all have a great week. Oh and once again thanks for adding this story to your alerts. **

**Xoxo A Girl I Once Knew**


	4. Chapter 4

**First of I want to give a quick thank you to the people who have reviewed. I honestly appreciate your opinions and take them into consideration as best as I can. I also want to say thanks to the people who have added this story to their favorites and to their alerts. It honestly means a lot to me! When I first uploaded I didn't think anyone would be interested, but I've gotten feedback so I will continue working on it, and I hope you guys enjoy it! Once again there is a lot going on in this chapter so please bear with me as I try to move this fanfic forward. Thank you guys and I hope you enjoy!**

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><p>Before they knew it their kiss had turned into a full on make out session. Quinn had her back to the kitchen island with Rachel conveniently placed between her legs. Both pair of hands moved frantically around each other's bodies, it was if they were experiencing each other's touch for the very first time. Neither of them wanted to stop. The moment Quinn's hand slowly made its way to Rachel's inner thigh; Rachel couldn't help and let out a moan, which was then followed by a release of Quinn's name.<p>

" Mhmm Quinn… don't stop!". Quinn wanted to continue what she was doing, but hearing her name just made her freeze up. What was she doing? How did she even manage to let things get this out of hand? She quickly pulled away and tried to apologize.

"I um I'm sorry I- I shouldn't have" but before she could finish her sentence she was silenced by Rachel's hand to her lips.

"Shhh! Don't you dare take that back! Don't you dare say that you didn't mean for this to happen, when you know it felt right! You kissed me, and I kissed you back! No harm was done, because WE BOTH wanted it! So don't you dare say that it was a mistake Quinn! It wasn't!" As a she finished speaking she began to cry.

"I love you Quinn, and I know that I hurt you really bad, but I also know that you still love me, and that's all that matters, and all I needed to know! Now you need to know one thing, and that's that II will not give you up without a fight!" She paused to make eye contact with Quinn before she continued.

"Or at least until you can look me straight in the eyes, and tell me that you no longer love me!" Quinn stood still for a moment before she got the energy to speak.

"What if I don't want you to fight for me?" She couldn't believe the words that came out of her mind. Had she actually said that aloud? The look on Rachel's face said it all. Rachel placed her hand on Quinn's cheek brushing a few strands of her out of the way.

"Well if that's what you really want, then that's what I'll do. It won't be easy, but that's what I'll do." As she finished what she was saying she couldn't help but notice the missing ring on Quinn's left hand. She reached for it, but Quinn quickly pulled away. Rachel just nodded at the rejection.

"That is what you want isn't it? You took off your wedding ring, because you no longer want to be mine? God why does this have to hurt so bad!"

Quinn didn't say anything, not because she didn't want to, but because she honestly didn't know what to say. A huge part of her wanted to run up to her and held her in her arms once more until all crying ceased, and she whispered into her ear that everything was going to be okay, until it ended with both of them wrapped around each other's arms in bed the way many of their previous arguments had been resolved, but she knew that this time that wasn't an option.

"Did San know you had taken off your ring?" Quinn just kept her head down. "Great she knew and she still allowed me to get my hopes up!" It nerved Quinn to hear Rachel bring Santana into their argument. If she only knew how much Santana had been pulling for them to get back together.

"This has nothing to do with her, so why do you even bring her up? And just so you know she has done everything in her hands to get us back together. She says she doesn't want us to experience what she and Britt did." Rachel just looked down. She knew that Santana wasn't at fault if anything it was because of her, and Brittany's help that she and Quinn ended up together. That thought on its own brought a whole other set of tears.

"Yea I know San isn't at fault, it's just easier to find someone else to blame you know?" Quinn just nodded.

"Yea I get you" she said as her phone vibrated. She pulled out her phone to check who it was, and when she saw the name on the message a smile appeared on her face, and it certainly didn't go unnoticed by Rachel. It had been awhile since she saw her wife's gorgeous smile, so to know that someone else was the reason for it made her jealous.

"Who's that?" she hesitated to ask.

"Oh it's just Sugar from work; she's been updating me with the kids, and the gossip." Rachel just gave her a nod. She hated Sugar. There was just something about her she didn't trust. The first time she met her was at a luncheon for the teachers and staff at the school Quinn worked it, and she just didn't rub her the right way. Quinn insisted that Sugar was straight, but the looks that she gave Quinn when she wasn't looking said otherwise.

"I still don't trust her!" She all but whispered.

"Oh no you don't! You have no right to come at with trust issues." Quinn couldn't believe that Rachel was even brining up Sugar as someone she couldn't trust. Quinn had never gave her any reason to suspect anything of that sort.

"I didn't mean for that to come out Quinn, and I know it's not in my place to say right now, but since it came out I stand by it! I don't trust her, and I think she's taking advantage of our separation to get close to you, don't you see it?" Quinn let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Unbelievable! Are you even serious right now Rachel? Clearly this visit has been pointless!" She said as she searched for her coat.

"Where are you going?" She knew brining up her insecurities with Sugar was a mistake, but she couldn't help what she felt and unwillingly it came out. She didn't want that to be the reason for Quinn's departure.

"I'm going home! This conversation isn't going anywhere, and it's getting late." Before she could continue Rachel reached for her hand.

"Please don't go, at least not like this. I'm sorry for bringing her up like that, and I know it was a bit out of line, but I don't want you to leave like this, please!" Quinn let out a loud sigh and placed her coat down. Even under the circumstances Rachel still got her to do what she wanted. She never could ignore Rachel's pleading face. She always curled her bottom lip and it always reeled Quinn in.

"Fine, but I can't stay that much longer, because it is getting late, and I have to get some things ready before I go back to work." Rachel couldn't help but sport her 100 watt smile.

"Thank you, I won't keep you too long, but at the very least I would like it if you had one of those cup cakes that I blissfully made for you." She said as she walked back to the kitchen and Quinn followed. Once Quinn had taken a seat you placed a plate with a cupcake in front of her, and pulled out the carton of milk.

"Since I spilled all the coffee, and destroyed the coffee maker will you settle for a cold glass of milk?"

Quinn was still uncertain as to why she had decided to stay, but just nodded at mention of milk.

"Yea sure that's fine thanks." Rachel handed her the glass of milk, as Quinn's phone went off.

"Hey Sugar, no yea I received your text, but I'm kind of in the middle of something. Let me give you a call once I get home, Okay? Perfect I'll talk to you soon then."

It enraged Rachel to not only know that Sugar had called her wife, but also that Quinn didn't mention that she was with her. All she said was that she was in the middle of something. What the hell did that even mean? Quinn noticed Rachel's body language change up, and she knew why but didn't bring it up.

"Thanks for the cupcake, it's delicious!" Rachel got up to put the rest away.

"Yea" was all she could say. She wanted to tell Quinn off, but she knew that it was pointless, and in a sense even hypocritical so she just bit her bottom lip and tried to calm down.

"Would you like another one?" She asked casually.

"No thanks, this one hit the spot." Rachel had literally been biting her lip to keep herself from saying anything stupid. She hadn't realized that how much pressure she had applied with the bite that it actually drew some blood until Quinn leaned in to wipe off a drop.

"You're bleeding!" Rachel pushed her hand away, and got up to get some tissue.

"Yea I'm fine; I must have accidentally bitten myself." Quinn finished up the rest of her cupcake and took her plate and glass to the sink.

"Don't worry about that, I'll wash it later." She got up to stop Quinn from doing the dishes.

"Are you sure?" Quinn asked.

"Yea it's getting late, and you have a phone call to make anyway." She spat out not caring about how it sounded. She knew she had no right to feel hurt, or jealous, but she hated Sugar, and she was fully aware of what she was doing.

"Rachel! Seriously, I thought we discussed this already?" Rachel was livid and she didn't care about how irrational she was acting.

"No! There is nothing to discuss Quinn Fabray! You like the sound of that? Well don't worry, because soon you'll be able to drop the Berry, and go back to that!" She yelled as she walked towards the door.

"What the hell is you problem Rachel? You ask me to stay, so I stay and then you act like this?" Rachel kept walking away from her until Quinn grabbed her by the arm.

"Let me go Quinn!" That command only made Quinn grip on harder.

"No! I will not! Throughout this whole conversation divorce didn't even come up once, but Sugar gives me a call and that's the first thing that pops into your head! Really Rachel? Well this isn't a joke so if divorce is the way you want to go about it, don't try taking it back!" Quinn loosened the grip on Rachel's arm and she quickly pulled away.

"Oh Whatever Quinn! You're the one who decided to come into OUR house without your wedding band to begin with. Plus you said it yourself! You don't want me fighting for you." She sort of whispered the last part out, and paused before she continued.

"Now I know why! You moved on didn't you? I'm such an idiot!" Quinn only nodded in agreement.

"Don't you just have everything figured out Rachel? Do you honestly think that if I had something going on with Sugar that I would have bothered to come over, when it would have been a lot easier and a lot less time consuming to send you the divorce papers? If I don't want you fighting for me it's not because I have something going on with Sugar, or anyone else! It's- because I don't trust you Rachel! And after tonight I'm beginning to think that meetings between us are going to be pointless." Rachel just stood quite staring at the ground.

"Thanks for the cupcake; I'll have my lawyer give you a call when the divorce papers are ready." Quinn said as she walked out the door. The moment the door shut behind Rachel threw herself on the ground and began to cry. She didn't envision their first night together ending like this.

Quinn was so pissed off with the way their meeting had gone that she didn't bother getting into her car; instead she just began to walk until her phone went off. She picked it up to see that she had a text from Santana.

*Hey Q I don't mean to get in the way of you and Berry, but I was just wondering if we were still on for tonight? Give me a call when you get the chance.* Instead of texting her back she just gave her a call.

"Hey, that was fast, so are we still on, and if so my place or your place?" there was some silence before Quinn gave her an answer.

"Do you have Vodka at your place?"

"Uh yea you know it, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing it just means I'll be there in twenty, so get the shot glasses ready!"

Before Santana could even give her a response Quinn had hung up. Due to her anger Quinn wasn't aware of the length she had actually walked. She was about a 45 minute distance from where her car was parked, so she sent Santana a text letting her know that is was going to be more than 20 minutes until she got to her place. As she walked back she passed by a sports bar and through the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a very familiar figure. Without even thinking she made her way inside, pushing a couple of drunken men out of her way. When she finally reached her destination she tapped the familiar figure on the shoulder, and when it turned around it was met with a right hook to the eye.

"This is your entire fault! You couldn't accept that she chose me! That she married me! You're a pathetic piece of shit you know that?" Right as he was about to talk she kneed him in the groin.

"Agh What the fuck Quinn!" Was all that he could utter as he fell to the ground.

"What the fuck is right Finn, maybe that'll teach you to keep it on your unwanted member in your pants!" Even through all of his pain and discomfort he was still able to give her a smirk.

"Unwanted? Ha I wouldn't say that it was unwanted, because she clearly wanted it that night, and she asked for it." Just as Quinn was about to give him another one she felt a couple of strong arms grab her from behind.

"What the fuck let me go!" She tried to fight the person off, but their grip was too tight for her to break out of.

"Baby mama, what are you doing here?"

"Puck what the fuck! Let me go! I need to teach this pathetic piece of shit to stay away from my wife!" While Puck had Quinn in his arms Finn got to his feet.

"You make it seem like I forced her to do something she didn't want to do, when she was the one that came up to my hotel room, after you left. You can say whatever you want, but I would never force anyone to be with me, and deep down you know that!" Quinn let out a bitter laugh.

"Right like you weren't aware of how intoxicated she was, and that she and I had just gotten into a fight. You took advantage of the fact that she needed comfort!" She was forced to stop speaking due to the uncontrollable sobs that came out of her mouth.

"Now because of you we are ruined! I lost her and she lost me!" Witnessing the damage that his one night stand had caused he made an attempt to apologize.

"Q, I-" but before he could say anything more Quinn cut him off.

"Fuck you! You don't get to say anything to make yourself feel better! You're worthless, and mean nothing to me! I can't believe I ever dated you."

With all the commotion they were causing the bar's manager asked them to leave. First Puck asked Finn to leave, and once he was out of reach he let Quinn go as he walked her outside.

"Q, let me see your hand."

"What for, I'm fine!" When she didn't give it to him willingly he reached out for it.

"Dang baby mama it looks like you might have lost a knuckle there. I would sure as hell hate to be Finn right now." Quinn winced in pain at the pressure he applied when he revised her hand.

"Yea, well I just hate him! How could he do this to me Puck? I mean I know I screwed things up with him in high school, but this isn't high school, and Rachel isn't just some girl I'm dating! She's my wife! I planned to spend the rest of my life with her, and now- now I don't know if that's even an option." Puck just took her in his arms and tried the best he could to comfort her.

"Hey Q, look at me, what Finn did is a whole new set of low, and even though he's my boy I don't stand behind him, but I have no doubt in my mind that my little Jew princess regrets it all! That girl loves you with everything she has! We all make mistakes when we are at are weakest points, and I think you and I know that better than anyone else. I'm not saying that what she did isn't wrong and all, but maybe you guys can work things out. If you love her, don't let her go that easy." Right as he finished what he was saying Quinn's phone went off.

"Q what the hell it's been more than half hour since you said you would be on your way! Did you and Berry make up and decide to ditch me, because I've been trying to call her, but it goes straight to voice mail, and that's not cool."

"No I'm not with her, I um actually I'm glad you called because I may or may not have gotten myself into a tiny predicament, and might need a ride." Without any hesitation Santana made her way out.

"I'm on my way now, but you better be ready to spill all the detail once I get there. Text me the exact address, and I'll be there ASAP." When she hung up Quinn quickly sent her the address.

"San is on her way, so you don't have to wait here with me. I know you probably want to check up on Finn." Puck just shook his head.

"Na, Finn is a grown man he can take care of himself, and besides I haven't seen Santana in ages, so I wouldn't mind seeing here for a quick second." He finished with his usual Puck wink, which just caused Quinn to break out in laughter.

"You'll never change Puck!"

"What can I say once the Puckasaurous, always the Puckasaurous! I can't be tamed." Once more Quinn broke into laughter, only this time she was caught off guard when her phone went off once more.

"Well aren't we all popular tonight?" Quinn just flipped him off as she answered her phone.

"Hi Quinn, I know you said you would call me back once you got to your place, but it was getting kind of late and I wanted to make sure you were okay, since you sounded kind of tense earlier."

"No, yea I'm fine. Thanks for your concern, I just got kind of caught up in some issues with Rachel, and it became more time consuming than expected."

"Oh, oh I'm sorry for intruding then, but are you sure you're okay? I know that it can all be pretty intense. If you want I can go to your place with a bottle of wine so we could, you know talk?" Even though Sugar clearly couldn't see her Quinn shook her head.

"Thanks Sugar that's very sweet, but Santana is actually on her way now. If you want maybe we can have lunch or something tomorrow?" Without any hesitation Sugar agreed.

"Yes that sounds great! I'll see you tomorrow then, but before that I'll give you a call in the morning just to see how you're feeling. Take care honey!"

When she hung up her phone Puck was already waiting for her with a smirk on his face.

"Who's Sugga, and why are you having lunch with her tomorrow?"

"Don't give me that look! She's just a co worker who happens to know what it's like to deal with an unfaithful partner, so she shows her support in any way she can." Puck just gave her a puzzled look.

"Wait, so she's gay, and single too?"

"No she's not gay, but yes she is single, and before you get any ideas, I'm not setting you up with her. I will not be responsible for you breaking another girl's heart." Puck shot her a pleading look.

"Oh come on Q, that didn't even cross my mind until YOU mentioned it, so now you have to help an old friend out," Right as Quinn was about to give him an explanation Santana pulled up in her Range rover.

"Puckerman! What brings you around?" Puck made his way to the truck's window and embraced Santana in a tight hug!

"Well you know how we sailors like to drink, so I decided to come here with a couple of buds, but blondie here had some other plans." He said as he pointed at Quinn's swollen hand.

"Jesus Q! What the hell happened to you?"

"San you know how clumsy I am, I was walking and somehow hit my hand against a poll and-"

"And what it clearly won if it shattered your right hand. Now quit lying and tell me what really happened unless you plan on walking it to the ER." Quinn just stood quiet and stared at the ground.

"Mujer habla de una vez! Don't act like the cat got your tongue and tell me what happened!" Quinn knew she had to tell Santana what happened, especially since she used Spanish on her which only happened when she meant business.

"Finn happened alright! I was making my way back to my car when I passed by this bar and I saw his dumb ass inside, and before I knew it my fist was making contact with his face! Then I kicked him in his mid section and would have given him more, but Puck came from behind and stopped me. So now that you're all caught up can please take me to my car, or something?"

"Okay first off I'm impresses because he had it coming, but what the hell are you doing all the way over here without your car?" Quinn just shook her head in response as she got into the passenger's seat.

"It's a long story okay, and I don't want to talk about it unless I have the liquor inside me, or I am heavily medicated, so please just drive somewhere already!"

"Okay relax, just because Finn was dumb enough to let you swing at him doesn't mean I will let you do the same to me Lion Quinn." She said with laughter which only irritated Quinn more.

"Santana don't mess with me! I'm clearly not in the mood." Quinn uttered, and Santana just gave her a sympathetic look in return.

"I'm kidding Q, let's go have that hand taken care of." Before she put the truck in drive she turned to look at Puck.

"Puckerman you need a lift?"

"Na Finn and I came in separate cars; he met me here after work. So I'm all good, but just make sure you give me a call or text me when you get her home safe and sound." Santana smiled at the concern he expressed for Quinn.

"Will do, but don't be a stranger anymore okay?"

"Now that I got a visual reminder at how hot you both are I don't think I could ever stay away." He said with a wink.

"Yea, and just like that you managed to kill a sweet moment!"

"Hey it's like I told Q, you can't keep the Puckasaurous down!" With that they said their goodbyes and Santana drove off.

The whole ride to the hospital was silent, and that was enough for Santana to know that the things between her two friends had not gone well. While Quinn was filling out her paperwork, and waiting to be checked Santana decided to walk outside and give Rachel another call, but just like the first time it went straight to voicemail. She tried not to make much out of it, because Rachel did like to go to bed early, especially if she had early rehearsals, but something about the whole situation just didn't feel right to Santana, so she decided to take a quick drive to her apartment since it was about 15 minutes away from the hospital. She thought about going back inside to tell Quinn but when she had left Quinn was still waiting to be seen so she figured she would have time to go and come back before Quinn even noticed she was gone.

On her drive there she attempted to call Rachel once more, but yet again there was no answer, and to make things worst it felt like she was missing all the green lights and the red lights seemed to be lasting hours. When she finally made it to her apartment she hit the buzzer, but when there was no answer she just used the spare key that Rachel had given her when Quinn moved out. As soon as she opened the door she searched for Rachel in desperation.

"Rach! Rachel! Are you in here?" When she got no response she immediately ran towards her friend's bedroom, and nearly lost it when she found Rachel lying across the floor in lifelessly matter.

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><p><strong>I think this has been my lengthiest chapter yet so I hope I didn't over do it. Let me know what you guys think. Was it too much shall I keep them shorter? I look forward to hearing from you guys and truly appreciate your feedback Also I hope using sugar in this fanfic wasn't too weird for you guys. I debated on using her simply because she is the Brittana baby lol but she's hot so I couldn't resist.<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Once again I want to say thanks for the reviews, and for the people who added it to their favorites. I wanted to update a lot sooner but with finals, and Christmas shopping I couldn't get to it until now. I must warn you guys. This isn't a cheerful update, but this will lead to happier chapters very soon! Hope you guys enjoy the update!**

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><p>Santana dashed to her friend's side quickly taking Rachel's head into her hands.<p>

"No! Rachel what the fuck did you do? Rach please wake up! Look at me!" She tried to shake her up, but got no response. She desperately searched around for whatever pills Rachel might have taken but when she didn't come across any she gently picked up her friend and rushed her to the bathroom. Once inside she placed Rachel in the bathtub and immediately turned on the cold water, as she turned the shower head so that it splashed Rachel directly on her face. As soon as the water made contact with Rachel's face she began to stir.

"Ay dios mio! Gracias!" Santana said as soon as she saw a reaction from her friend. She gently took her in her arms and held her in a tight embrace as tears streamed down her face.

"Rachel what the hell did you take? I- I thought you were gone." Clearly still intoxicated Rachel just looked at her with drowsiness before her eyes rolled back. Santana began to freak out once more and gave her a few smacks to the face.

"Rachel look at me! Stay with me please!" When that didn't seem to work she dragged her out of the tub and ran out of the apartment with Rachel in arms.

The drive to the hospital was a lot faster than the drive to Rachel's apartment. Santana was able to make all the green light, and when a red light appeared the streets were empty enough for her to get by. She was barely able to park the car before she made her way into the ER with Rachel in her arms. Moments before Santana arrived Quinn had been in the waiting room trying to get a hold of Santana so when she saw Santana run in with Rachel in her arms she ran recklessly towards them.

"Oh my God! What the hell happened to her San?" She asked as she gently took Rachel's face into her hands.

"Rach! Rachel! Listen to me, look at me please! Open your eyes, and look at me baby!" With tears falling down her face she desperately searched for some sort of medical help.

"Can someone please take a look at my wife!" It was more of a demand than a plead, but it worked because as soon as she said that the nurse that had attended her appeared.

"What happened to her?" The nurse directed her question towards to Santana as she checked Rachel's vitals.

"I- I don't know, she took something, but I couldn't find anything at her place, so I have no idea what it could have been." The nurse just nodded as she pulled up a gurney, and asked Santana to place Rachel on to it.

"Well she has a pulse, it's a faint pulse but, it's definitely better than no pulse at all. I'm going to rush her to the back so that a doctor could have a better look at her." As she said that she pried Rachel's eyes open.

"Her eyes are very dilated and judging by the smell of Everclear that is escaping her mouth it could very well be alcohol poisoning, so we might have to pump out her stomach." She turned to Quinn.

"You said you were her wife?" Quinn nodded.

"Okay well I'm going to need you to fill out her paper work, while she's in the back. Do you think you can manage that with your cast on?" Quinn just nodded once more as the nurse rushed Rachel to the back. Before she was fully out of reach Quinn ran up to her.

"Is- she going to be okay? The nurse looked back at her with a warming smile.

"Let's hope for the best, if all she consumed was liquid than it might make the process easier. Just know she is in good hands, and I will come find you as soon as I get some news." Quinn nodded as she thanked the nurse and made her way to the front of the hospital.

While she was filling out the papers the reality of it all hit her and she began to cry. How could this happen? She couldn't help but blame herself, if she wouldn't have left their apartment so angry none of this would have happened. She didn't even want to think about what could have happened if Santana hadn't gone and checked on her. Just as she thought that she felt a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"Come here." Santana said as she wrapped her friend in her arms.

"Q she's going to be fine! You know Berry is tough! She's going to get through this I promise!"

"This is all my fault San! I shouldn't have left the way that I did. I- I shouldn't have gotten so angry! If- if something happens to her I won't be able to forgive myself." She said as she buried her face into the crook of Santana's neck.

"Shhhh! Don't say that! None of this is your fault, sometimes things just happen for whatever fucked up reason, but if you ask me, it is best that you walked it off. Just try to relax because you need to fill out all of these papers, and she's going to be fine!" She said as she placed a chaste kiss on top of Quinn's head.

"While you finish filling that out, I'm going to grab us a couple of coffees. I know it's going to be a long night and if I don't caffeine in my system I might have to endz somebody" She said with a smirk as Quinn managed to give her a smile.

"Thanks San" With that Santana made her way out, and Quinn continued to fill out all the papers.

Within minutes the nurse returned to update Quinn on Rachel's current state of being. She let her know that she was stable, but that it was alcohol poisoning, and that Santana had brought her just in time. Since Rachel was unconscious the doctor had to insert an endotracheal tube to her mouth to keep any fluids from getting into her lungs. She also let Quinn know that it was a draining process, and that Rachel was resting but that once she was placed into her own room she would let Quinn know so she could go see her.

When Santana returned she found Quinn sitting in the waiting area, and appeared to be a lot more relaxed than before.

"So any news?" She asked as she handed Quinn her coffee.

"Thanks San, and yea apparently it was alcohol poisoning, so she is out of danger, but the procedure took a lot out of her so she will need a lot of time to rest, both in the hospital and at home."

"Well the good thing is that she isn't in any danger, but good luck with Getting Berry to rest, even when she's sick she's up and running."

"I know that is why I'm going to call her dads to let them know. I know Michael won't be able to come because of work, but maybe Ishmael will be able to stay with Rach for a couple of days, and I will definitely do what I can to make sure that she rests as best she can. What time is it?" She looked at Santana as she asked.

"It's about to be 1:30 in the morning, why?"

"Well I was going to call Rachel's manager to let him know that she won't be able to make it to the rehearsal for the rest of this week, but I think I might just email him instead, and I also have to look into possibly taking more days off of work." Santana just shook her head.

"Q! You've already missed enough, Rachel will be fine I will do my part in helping too, and I'll take care of informing her manager you just relax and call her dads ASAP, because you know how they are so the sooner they know the better." Quinn just nodded, she knew she had to call her in laws, but deep down she wished there was a way she could avoid the call. Michael and Ishmael had been nothing but supportive of her after she decided to move out, but she still felt a bit awkward when she spoke to them, especially because Rachel seemed to come up in every conversation making it difficult for the call to carry on. In spite of all of that she knew she had to put her worries aside and call them.

"San do you think you can go back to the apartment, and bring back Rachel's Barbra Streisand's throw blanket? I want her to have something to soothe her when she wakes up, and also remember to go to the fridge where she has her manager's information listed." Santana couldn't help but smile at how quickly Quinn was able to fall into the role of Rachel's care taker and wife. It reminded Santana of the way Quinn protected Rachel from all the jocks back in their high school days.

"Yea sure thing Q, do you need anything from your studio?" Quinn shook her head.

"No thanks San I shall be fine."

"Okay then I'll be back in a few, but if anything comes up give me a call or something."

"Thank you San!"

"Yea yea, don't mention it Q, that's what we Cheerios are for." She said with a wink as she leaned into to give Quinn a hug, and made her way out.

While Santana was gone Quinn sat and thought about what she was going to say when she finally made the call to Rachel's fathers. After a few minutes of plotting and several cups of coffee she decided to finally dial their number. As soon as the phone began to ring, her nerves got the best of her.

"Quinnie! What a wonderful surprise honey! How are you? How's everything?" Hearing Ishmael's soothing voice on the other end of the phone Helped Quinn calm down a bit before she spoke.

"Hi- sir I um-" before Quinn could continue she was interrupted.

"Now Quinn what have I told you about calling me sir? We're family and I would appreciate me if you would still call me dad." Quinn couldn't help but smile at that. Rachel's dads always made her feel like she was one of their own and it brought tears to her eyes.

"I'm fine dad, I um I'm actually calling you because Rachel, she uh-"

"She what? What happened Quinn, is she okay?"

"Yea she's, Santana brought her to the ER because of some alcohol poisoning, but she is out of any danger she's just going to need a lot of rest these upcoming day."

"Dear Lord! How did this happen? My poor baby! Let me get a hold of Michael so that he could book me a flight to New York as soon as possible! Thank you so much for calling me honey!"

"No problem, I'll be here all night so just give me a call if anything comes up. I can get Santana to pick you up from the airport, or have her stay with Rachel while I go get you."

"Thank you that sounds great."

"It's no problem really, so I'll see you soon then?"

"Yes Quinn, and thank you, I know it's not the ideal situation to be taking care of my daughter, but it means so much to me that you still look out for her. I don't know what I would do if you weren't there to take care of her." When Ishmael said those words it filled Quinn with pain. She knew that his words weren't intended to hurt her, but she couldn't help the feeling they provided, before she could make anything out of it she forced herself to brush it off. She loved Rachel with all her heart and in that moment that's all that mattered to her.

"Always- I um will always be here for her no matter what. I love her too much to turn my back on her, especially when she needs me the most."

"I know you do honey, and it means the world to me to have you say that. I'll see you soon, in the mean time take care of my little star." With a smile on her face she agreed and with that she ended their call.

About thirty minutes after she had gotten off the phone with Rachel's father Quinn had drifted away into sleep until her phone buzzed and woke her up.

"Q , I emailed Rach's manager and left him a voicemail at his office number, but I can't seem to find that stupid blanket anywhere are you sure she still has it?"

"Of course she still has it- it's what…" Just then it hit her that the blanket wasn't at Rachel's apartment. When Quinn moved out she took the blanket with her as a minor way to get back at Rachel, and at the same time it served to comfort her whenever she missed Rachel. It carried her scent with it, and it made it easier for Quinn to get sleep when she wrapped herself around it.

"Hello! Quinn you still there?"

"Yea, sorry it turns out her blanket is at my place."

"How the hell did that happen? You hated that thing!"

"Yea I know, but it somehow found its way into my belongings when I packed up, do you um mind driving there to get it?" She asked almost afraid of sounding too needy.

"No it's fine I'll be there as soon as I get it then."

"Thanks San!"

When Quinn got off the phone with Santana she decided to step outside and get some air. It had been a long day and she hadn't had time to peacefully reflect on it. She couldn't believe everything that had gone on in the past 24 hours. It all sort of felt like a dream, a dream that she knew she couldn't escape. If only there was some way for her to just go back and stop everything before it happened. If only she could have prevented that argument between her and Rachel the night that she decided to sleep with Finn. It's often said that you don't know that you have until it's gone, and that night she got a preview of it. The moment she saw Rachel in Santana's arms she felt her body go numb. It was as if everything was being sucked out of her. More than anything she wanted to hold Rachel in her arms and know that she was going to be okay. Nothing else seemed to matter other than Rachel's well being.

After having to give Beth up the only thing that could even compete with that sort of pain was losing Rachel, and because of that she prayed that she would never have to deal with that again. It had been awhile since she even bothered to pray, but at that moment it was only thing that could comfort her.

"Dear God, I know it's been awhile, but I just want to ask you to please, please let Rachel be okay, even if I can't be with her after it I don't even want think about not having her here at all. Please sure that she gets out of this one okay, and please give us both the strength to carry on. I want to forgive her Lord. I want to have her back in my life but I don't know how, I just don't know if I'm capable of forgetting about her betrayal."

"Q, what are you doing out here? Is everything okay?" Quinn looked up to fin Santana standing in front of her with the Barbra blanket in her hand.

"Yea it is I just needed to get some air and clear my head, so much has gone on in these past 24 hours and I hadn't had a chance to reflect on it all you know?" Santana just nodded.

"Yea I know I almost can't believe that it has happened, it kind of all feel like a dream doesn't it?"

"Yup that's exactly what I was just thinking about before you got here, I'm just glad Rach is out of any danger. She scared the hell out of me when I saw her in your arms." Santana placed a comforting and on Quinn's shoulder as they made their way back inside to the waiting room.

Once they had made their way into the waiting room and took their seats, Santana looked at Quinn as if she had something to say but couldn't bring her way to it.

"What is it San?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well what gives, clearly there is something on your mind so spill it."

"It's nothing really; we can talk about it later."

"San come on, you've been nothing but a great friend to Rach, and I so now let me do the same for you."

"Well, um remember earlier today, or shall I say yesterday since it's already three in the morning. Oh dear God I am rambling, I'm turning into Berry! How did this happen?" Quinn couldn't help, but laugh. How was it possible that Santana was able to make her laugh even at a time like that?

"Nice try but your rambling isn't going to make me forget that you had something to tell me! So what is it?"

"Fine! Well as I was saying do you um remember what I told you when we went for our jog?"

"Oh my God! Yes, it's about Britt! Have you gotten a hold of her?" Santana bit her lip as she looked Quinn in the eyes.

"Yea, I um I don't know but seeing Rach like that really scared me too, and all I could think of was Brittany and God I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to her and I couldn't be there to hold her and make sure that she was alright. I just couldn't!" This time it was Quinn that pulled her friend into a comforting hug.

"I know San! I Have to admit that seeing Rach that way made me realize that life is too short, and um I honestly don't know if I can see my life without her in it, even after everything that has happened, but any way what were you saying."

"Well yea I um, while I was emailing Rachel's manager I thought about Britt and how she was going to be here this weekend, and I remembered what you said to me at the park, so I emailed her." Quinn actually squealed like a teenage girl at her friend's news.

"Oh my God San! Are you serious? I'm sooooo excited for you!" Santana broke into a smile but quickly took it back.

"Yea I don't know though, what if she doesn't bother reading it, or what if she does but doesn't want to see me." Quinn just shook her head.

"Britt is not like that and you know that! She will get back at you, and if- if she doesn't then at least you know you gave it a try you know? But what did the email say?"

"Nothing much I just told her hi, and that I had spoke to her sister and found out that she was going to be here this weekend, so I would love to maybe grab a cup of coffee if she had time, but I don't know was that too forward, after not hearing from each other for almost a year?"

"I don't think so San. You had to start somewhere. I just hope she gets back to you soon! I wouldn't mind seeing her, the last time I spoke to her was over a month ago and we made plans to meet up next time she came here, but neither of us pulled through, and I miss having her around." Santana just nodded.

"Yea me too!"

Within an hour or so Quinn had managed to fall asleep nearly on top of Santana, but was woken up by a nurse informing her that Rachel had been taken into her own room, and that she could go see her once she was ready. Since it was way past visiting hours only Quinn was allowed to go see her while Santana waited down stairs with Quinn's phone in case Ishmael called. Once Quinn reached the door of Rachel's hospital room she took in a big breath before she walked in. Even with that intake of air she couldn't but feel breathless once she saw Rachel lying in the hospital bed. The tears immediately fell from her face as the thought of losing her crossed her mind. She slowly made her way to Rachel's bed side and held on to her hand.

"Rach, baby why did you do this, please open your eyes for me! I just want to know you're okay." When she got no response she pulled up a chair and rested her head on her wife's lap.

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><p><strong>Okay guys so once again I'm sorry that I couldn't update sooner, but I promise to update a lot faster now that I am on break with nothing else to do. I really hope you guys enjoyed this update, and I promise that things will start to look better in future updates. I won't say that there isn't going to be anymore angsts because there is some more sugar stuff coming ahead, but things do get better. I plan to update before Christmas, but if in any case I don't I wish you all a Faberry ;) happy Holiday! Please review, I get some of my ideas from what you guys share with me so please let me know what you think! It's greatly appreciated! <strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys here is another update! Hope you all enjoyed your Holidays and continue to prepare for the New Year!**

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><p>Even though Quinn knew that Rachel was out of danger the image of her lying on that hospital bed without any speck of life in her tore her up inside. More than anything she wanted for Rachel to open up her eyes. She wanted to look into the eyes that made everything alright just by staring into them. Those eyes were all Quinn needed to keep breathing, to believe that everything would be okay. More than anything she wanted to know that the girl she had fallen in love with from the moment they met as kids still lied on that bed, and that what happened between them six months ago hadn't changed her.<p>

She held on to Rachel's hand like her life depended on it, and had no intention of letting it go until she saw those gorgeous dark brown eyes sparkle like they had so many times before.

"Rach how did we get here, how did we allow people to break into our force field?" As she said that a tear streamed down her face, but not before she broke into a smile.

"Do you remember when you first brought up our force field? Do you remember how it all happened? I had gotten so mad at you for choosing to partner up with Britt instead of me in Gym class. The rest of the day I tried as best as I could to give you the silent treatment but you kept being your adorable self making it nearly impossible for me to be angry. When you finally saw my wall breaking down you shouted "_FORCE FIELD QUINN!_" I looked at you like you were crazy, but all you could do was smile and repeat it once more before you took my hand and said

"_I know you're mad at me for choosing Brittany as my dance partner in our gym class, but you must know that it's only because it's all part of our force field"_

I still looked at you like you were speaking to me in a whole other language, which only caused you to hold on to my hand tighter.

"_Our force field baby, the one that protects us from any unwanted intruders, I- I know that you being a Cheerio and all gives you a higher status and it's also the reason why people have stopped being mean to me, but I want to do my part too. I want to protect you in any way that I can. I- I want you to feel safe around me the way that I feel with you, so I just thought that if Brittany was my partner people would see that there are people besides you that can more than just tolerate me, and when that happens they will know that I am good enough for you, that I can protect you too and that I always will, because that's just the type of person that I am Quinn, and Brittany is part of our force field." _

When you finished talking the smile that displayed on my face could not be contained! I remember that day like it was just yesterday, because that was the first time I kissed you in the hallway without caring what anyone thought because we were in our force field and nothing could hurt us. I miss that force field Rach- I need you to help me get it back I need us to be okay, I want us to be okay." As she finished what she was saying she felt Rachel's hand subtly move and she looked up to see Rachel trying to release her eyes open.

"Rach, you okay? Let me get the nurse" before Rachel even had time to register where she was Quinn rushed out of her hospital room to find medical help, and as soon as she did she rushed back into the room .

"How are you feeling honey?" The nurse asked as she began to revise Rachel's vitals.

"Honestly, I feel like I just did a massive belly flop into and ice cold pool, and like I was forced to walk through the Sahara Desert without an ounce of water, and I have a major migraine I swear someone must of hit me with a bat or something." The nurse let out a chuckle as Rachel rambled.

"Well I guarantee you that you were nowhere near a pool, or the Sahara Dessert for that matter. Do you remember anything about last night? Do you know where you are? What's your name?" Rachel's head already felt like it was going to explode so having the nurse bombard her with questions wasn't helping at all.

"I- I I'm in a hospital room and my name is Rachel Barbra Berry- Fabray…" As she said her last name she glanced at Quinn and vague images of her encounter with Quinn the night before began to rush in all at once causing her head to spin out of control.

"I- I can't remember." Was all she said as she began to cry.

"It's okay honey" the nurse said as she placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Most of our patients' memory tends to be a bit hazy after undergoing what you did. You're hooked up to an IV to keep fluids in your system and to make sure that you're fully hydrated. I can't really give you any medication for your head ache because it will really upset your stomach after it being pumped just a few hours ago, but I will bring back some ice packs in a second, and the doctor will be with you shortly after." She gave Rachel a warming smile as she made her way to the door.

"Thank you" Quinn mouthed off right before the nurse fully walked out and, slowly made her way to Rachel's bed side.

"Rach- how are you really feeling? Do you need another pillow? I- I brought your Barbra blanket." She said as she reached under the bed to pull it out.

"I thought I had lost this!" Rachel said as she snuggled into the blanket, causing Quinn to smile at the image in front of her.

"No I guess I kind of borrowed it, when I- um moved out." Just as she said that she felt a little sting in side of her chest, and the look on Rachel's face let her know she felt it too.

"Rach you um, why did you do it?"

"Do what Quinn?" Rachel asked even though she had an idea of what Quinn was asking her.

"Do you really not remember anything from last night?" Rachel just shook her head.

"I remember us at home, I remember you eating a cupcake that I baked and then ugh I don't know Quinn I just don't want to think about it okay." She said as she turned her face away from Quinn's and tears strolled down her face one after another.

"Rachel, I just want you to know that no matter what happens between us, nothing is ever worth this! Nothing! You got that?" She said as she motioned to the hospital room.

"I don't ever want to hear, or even think about you possibly hurting yourself because we have unresolved issues…"

"Too little, too late!" Rachel spat out.

"What are you talking about?"

"I've already hurt myself Quinn! And I can guarantee you that nothing can ever compare to the pain that I caused myself for sleeping with Finn… and losing you." Right as she said that Quinn looked down at her cast and remembered the black eye she had given Finn the night before. It was so worth it. After all he destroyed their force field, and because of him they may not be able to get it back.

"I called Ishmael, and he should be on a plane ride here as we speak." Rachel slowly turned to look at Quinn.

"Wh-What for I'm fine!"

"I spoke to the nurse from the ER, and she said that you were going to need a lot of rest so your dad is going to help make sure that you do that."

"I am not some little girl that needs her father to take care of her Quinn! I am fully capable of taking care of myself." Quinn just arched her eyebrow and it immediately sent shivers down Rachel's spine. That Was Quinn's HBIC eyebrow.

"Berr- Rachel" that minor slip up didn't go unnoticed by Rachel because once again she turned away from Quinn.

"Rachel we all know how you are when it comes to following orders, especially when they are medical orders, so San and your father are going to help while I am work, whether you like it or not!"

Rachel broke into a smile, she loved when Quinn took charge and took care of her it just felt right there was no other way of putting it, and did she actually hear Quinn say "While I'm at work" did that mean that Quinn was going to be around their apartment? Fireworks set off inside of Rachel's chest due to the idea of having Quinn around just on its own.

"Did you hear me Rach?"

"Yes, Quinn I heard you loud and clear! Trust me my head ache serves as a reminder for how LOUD and clear I heard you." Quinn chuckled at how dramatic she was being, but then again it wouldn't be Rachel if she were handling it any other way.

"Let me go ask the nurse about those ice packs. She must have forgot or something." Right as she was walking out Rachel turned around.

"Quinn…"

"Mhhm"

"Thank you!" They were just two little words, but for Rachel they meant so much for and she hoped that Quinn got the message behind them. She needed her to know that in spite of everything she would always be grateful to have her around.

"No problem" Quinn said with a smile as she walked out.

"Q!" She turned to find Santana making her way to her.

"Hey San what's up?"  
>"Well Ishmael just called he said that he should be arriving within an hour, so do you want me to go get him, while you stay with Rach, or do you want to get him and I'll stay with Rach?" Quinn paused before she gave Santana an answer. Did she want to spend more time with Rachel risking uncomfortable topics, or should she use this as an excuse to walk away without really having to walk away.<p>

"Um well what do you prefer? Have you even gotten any sleep?"

"Honestly I don't mind picking him up, and I napped as best as I could on those damn chairs, but I'm fine. Is Rach up yet?" Quinn nodded

"Yea she woke up a few minutes ago, but claims not to remember what went on last night so she doesn't really understand why she is here." She paused before she decided that it was best for Santana to stay with Rachel while she picked up her father." Maybe I should go pick him up so you can talk to her and see if she really doesn't remember."

"Okay that works, has the doctor seen her yet?"

"No the nurse said he should be in shortly, and I'm actually supposed to be getting her some ice packs for her head ache. Let me get them for you before you step in to see her."

When Santana stepped into Rachel's room Rachel expected it to be Quinn so just by hearing the creak of the door, her heart began to race.

"Did she fail to remember about the pain that I am in? I just hope these ice packs do their trick because I for one don't believe they will! I need drugs Quinn!" Santana burst into laughter in spite of her condition Rachel was still being RACHEL.

"Hate to break it to you Berry, but no meds for you until the doctor gives the okay." Not being able to hide the disappointment on her face she immediately asked for Quinn.

"Where's Quinn?"

"Woa don't get so excited to see me "Santana joked as she placed on ice pack on the temple of Rachel's head, which instantly released a shiver from Rachel.

"It's not that Santana, of course I'm delighted that you're here to keep me company I was just wondering where she had gone, that's all." Allowing Rachel to have full control of the ice pack Santana sat beside her.

"Yea I know Berry I'm just messing with you, but she's actually on her way to pick up your dad." Rachel forced out a smile and stared straight at the ceiling. There was something about her father visiting her under the circumstances that didn't sit well with her. She knew she was going to be under extreme super vision and just thinking about it caused her head to throb.

"Rach, you okay?" being forced out of her thoughts she let out a deep sigh.

"Yea, I'm just thinking"

"About? You know I have a bone to pick with you Berry! You nearly caused me a heart attack! And there is no way I can die looking this hot you got that!" Feeling the complete discomfort with the conversation that she was about to engage in, all she could do was play dumb, hoping that like Quinn Santana would just drop it.

"What why?" instantly Santana recognized some uncertainty in Rachel's tone but she played along.

"Rach, what happened between you and Quinn last night?" Rachel just tensed up at the question, and once more images of her encounter with Quinn invaded her head and it caused her to break down.

"Chaparrita what is it?" Santana asked as she hovered on to the hospital bed and carefully took Rachel into her arms.

"There there rach, it's okay, you're okay." She kept repeating soothing words into Rachel's ear until she finally felt her calm down.

"You okay?" She asked as she made eye contact with Rachel, and once again tears strolled down her face.

"She wants a divorce San! She's done! She's leaving me and I can't take it! I just can't" Santana just held on to her tighter. She hadn't had the chance to speak about the details of their night with Quinn, and although she knew that things hadn't gone well, she didn't think it involved divorce.

"What are you saying Rachel? Did those words actually come out of Quinn's mouth?" Rachel just nodded.

"Yes! She said that she would have her lawyer sent me the divorce papers, and you immediately came to mind. Please tell me you're not going to take her away from me! Please San! I can't lose her!" Santana completely went numb after that. Quinn had insinuated that she wanted her to file up some divorce papers for them but she didn't take her seriously. There was no way Santana could take part in any of that. It just wasn't possible.

"Rach I- I would never do something like that, especially not without speaking to you first! You know I love you both, and all I want is to help make things better."

"I just don't know anymore San! What if there is no _better_ for us? What if I really ruined us? I hurt her so much and ugh I just want to forget everything! I need to forget!" Feeling smothered under Santana's grasp Rachel pulled away, but Santana held on tighter.

"Rachel! What did you do last night when Quinn left your apartment?" Santana demanded more than asked, but Rachel just stood quiet as the memory of her searching through her cabinets for something to take away the pain passed her by, and a lonesome tear made its way down to Santana's arm.

"Rachel! Dime lo que paso!" Once again Santana demanded but Rachel remained quiet, and tried to pull away. She just wanted to forget was all she could think of. She never intended for it to go this far, she never really wanted to hurt herself, did she? She just wanted an easy way out.

"I just wanted to forget…" she barely whispered.

"I know Rachel but finishing a handle of Everclear all by yourself in NO WAY to go about it you hear me? We could have lost you last night and what then huh? Do you know what it felt like to run into your bedroom and find you there like there was no life left inside you?" Rachel just let out a bitter laugh

"Maybe that's just it, maybe there is no life left inside me without Quinn."

"Don't you dare speak like that ever again Rachel Barbra Berry-Fabray! You hear me! You are not a quitter! You do not give up without a fight! What happened to the Rachel Berry that fought everyone off just to ensure that she got every solo possible in glee club? You were a force to be reckoned with! You even sent that sunshine girl to a crack house just so you wouldn't have to share the lime light." At the mention of that Rachel let out an honest giggle.

"It was a non running crack house okay, and I still feel terribly about that!" she playfully elbowed Santana on the ribs.

"I know you do short stuff, but that's just an example of the Rachel Berry I know! Sure this is a complete different situation, and it might take a lot more time and maybe even more tears before things get better but I have faith in you and Q you know that? I know things will get better you just have to pull through." As Santana said that she placed a kiss on top on Rachel's forehead, and Rachel allowed her friends words to soothe her and serve as her anchor to keep her steady and focused. She couldn't lose Quinn that easily, she just couldn't.

When Quinn saw Ishmael making his way across the airport to meet up with her she became a rollercoaster of built up emotions. There was just something about that familiar and heartwarming face that took her back in time. It took her to the very first time she stepped foot into the Berry house hold. She was invited for a sleep over, and her excitement couldn't compare to any other. It was a school night so she expected her mom to say no, but from some reason a call from Rachel's father was all it took for Judy to agree. From the moment she walked in to the house to the moment she walked out to go to school with Rachel beside her she had felt right at home, or at least that's what she wished her home felt like. The Berry men were so care free, which took Quinn some time to get use to but as soon as she did she felt like one of their own. So seeing Ishmael walk up to her brought back all of those feelings.

"Quinnie!" Ishmael shouted as he wrapped his arms around Quinn.

"It's been too long honey! And dear God have you not been eating? Look at you I can almost wrap my arms around you twice" Okay so exaggeration, and being dramatic ran in the family but Quinn couldn't help but nod as she recalled that most of her meals had consisted of Frosted Flakes and Ramen noodles.

"It has been way too long Sir- dad" Quinn corrected herself before Ishmael had the time to scold her.

"That's right I'm still your dad! You can't get rid of me that easily!" He said with a smile on his face as they made their way into the parking lot and towards Santana's Rangrover.

"So how was your flight?" Quinn asked for the sake of conversation.

"You know not as bad as I had anticipated, I always have the worst luck when it comes to traveling, but surprisingly there were no issues this time around. At least not that I was aware of, but that might have something to do with the fact that I had Rachel on my mind all the way through. How is she? Has she woken up yet?"

"Yea she woke up before I came to get you. She- she's doing well she's just dealing with the after math of consuming so much liquor and having to get her stomach pumped. When Santana went back to her apartment to pick up some things for Rachel she found an empty handle of Everclear that she had purchased and left a Rachel's house by mistake." She stopped to make eye contact with Ishmael.

"You know Rachel isn't a heavy drinker. Just by having two glasses of wine she feels light headed so it honestly worries me that she would even consider consuming that much. I- I tried asking her about it, but she claimed not to remember what happened and shut me out. I told San about it so maybe she'll have some luck and get through to her." Ishmael reached over to Quinn and placed a kiss on her forehead before they entered the truck.

"Rachel is something special Quinnie, you know that and I know that, and normally I would disregard what you're implying, because she's in love with life… but after everything that has happened nothing surprises me anymore. All I know is that I'm going to do everything in my power to make things better." He said as he wiped away some tears. Quinn really didn't know what to say so she turned to music hoping that whatever song was playing on the radio didn't make things worse.

When both Quinn and Ishmael made their way inside Rachel's room they saw both Santana and Rachel sleeping side by side on the hospital bed. They looked so peaceful that neither wanted to make a sound to disturb them, but because Ishmael hadn't seen his daughter in so long he couldn't resist placing a kiss on her cheek, which instantly caused Rachel to wake up.

"Daddy!" She shouted causing a very startled Santana to wake up as well.

"What the hell Berry!"

"Santana that is no way to speak to my daughter especially not while I'm around." He playfully scolded Santana before he reached over to hug her as well.

"Sorry it's just that she nearly caused me to have another heart attack and I just need my sleep." She whined.

"San you should go home and get some rest there is no need for the three of us to be here." Quinn said knowing very well how aggravated Santana got when she didn't have enough sleep, or coffee.

"No I'm fine, I just need coffee, plus I'm your ride anyway so it would be pointless." She said as made her way off Rachel's bed allowing Ishmael to take a seat beside his daughter.

"Well I can take you and pick up my car on the way back."

"No Q I'm fine I just need some coffee, plus you haven't slept either, and you need to eat something before you can take your pain killers." Rachel immediately looked concerned.

"Pain killers, what for? What's wrong with you?" She looked directly at Quinn as she attempted to hide her cast. With all the running around she had forgotten about her broken hand, and surprisingly didn't feel any pain.

"Noth- nothing I just tripped walking out of your apartment and landed on my hand the wrong way."

"Right!" Santana snickered causing Rachel not to believe anything Quinn had said.

"Santana Lopez what happened?" Rachel demanded and Quinn glared at Santana in a way that said she was dead if she opened her mouth. She had seen that look one too many times while they were both in the Cheerios.

"I need some coffee, would anyone else like any?" Santana asked as she made her way towards the door.

"Sit Lopez! You get your coffee after you tell me what happened." Ishmael just sat there taking it all in. It reminded him of when the three of them were back in high school and they got into a heated argument, He and Michael always took the role of the mediator, but this time he didn't know where to step in. He had noticed Quinn's hand, but for some reason it didn't cross his mind until now to ask. Just as Santana was going to take her seat Quinn's phone rang bringing everyone's attention directly to her.

"Well are you going to answer that?" Santana asked as Quinn looked down to her phone, and noticed it was Sugar. Perfect timing she thought, just perfect.

"No it's just work I'll let it go into to voicemail."

"Honey if it's work you should really answer it." Ishmael said as Quinn nodded and made her way out of the room, but not before she mouthed to Santana "NOT A WORD!"

"Okay now that she's out of here would you please let me know what that was all about?" Rachel pleaded.

"Rach any other situation, and I would but I think that this is something you and Q need to talk about. She's not in any sort of danger so you really have nothing to worry about." Rachel just shook her head.

"Well if you two wouldn't be acting so strange I would have no reason to worry, but now I just feel like you both are keeping things from me, and I don't like it one bit San!"

"I know Rach you just have to trust me on this okay? It will be better if you guys talk about it. Now if you excuse I needz to get me some coffee afore I endz both you and Q for giving me a head ache so early in the morning. Would you like some Ishmael?" Santana asked before she walked out.

"Sure San thank you, I'll take mine black please."

"Will do. I would offer you some short cake, but the doctor said you're not allowed to drink anything other than that Pedialyte crap the nurse brought in."

"Yea I know San, thanks anyway." She said as she leaned into her father's arms right before her friend walked out.

"Baby girl, how are you feeling sunshine?"

"Like crap! Everything around me spins, and I still feel like I did a belly flop that went all wrong. My tummy feels like it was ripped apart from the inside."

"I can only imagine how that would feel. You weren't conscious when the procedure took place were you?" Rachel just shook her head she was done talking, and lucky for her Quinn had just made her way back in.

"Hey sorry did I um interrupt a special father daughter moment?" Ishmael just laughed at the remark.

"Nonsense Quinnie you could never interrupt us." All Rachel could do was smile while he witnessed their interaction, it felt just like the good old days.

"How are you feeling Rach, San just told me what the doctor said so you should be released later on tonight, but you would need to rest for the remainder of this week, at the very least. You think you can do that for us? Just four days Rach, and on Monday you should be good to go."

"But I haven't even called Rick, or anyone at the theater, how will they know?"

"Santana already took care of that all you need to do now is rest, and not consume anything acidic which means no orange juice, no coffee, no ice cream, no plums, cranberries, and definitely no liquor!"

"I know I know! You say that like I drink all the time, you know I only drink when we go out to parties." She said that without realizing what she set herself up for.

"I know that Rach, which is exactly why I can't bring myself to understand why you were rushed here due to alcohol poisoning. San told me about her Everclear bottle. One shot of that and you swear you just taken a shot of gasoline, so how did you manage to down one whole handle?" Even though Quinn was asking her everything in a calmly matter she still felt overwhelmed and opted not to answer, hoping she would once again drop the conversation.

"Rach, can we please talk about this?"

"Quinn I'm fine really I'm just a light weight that is all, no harm was done so you have nothing to worry about."

"That's where you're wrong Rachel! You have no idea how terrified I was when I saw Santana rush in with you in her arms. Everything inside me went completely numb, I- I thought I had lost you!" She said as she dropped her self to the side of Rachel's bed, and the image was enough to cause both Rachel and Ishmael to release a waterfall of tears.

"I'm sorry Quinn! I'm sorry for everything!" Was all Rachel could say as she reached for Quinn's arms and wrapped them around her.

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><p><strong>Thanks for keeping up with me! Please let me know what you think :) <strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the feedback, I know I probably sound like a broken record, but I truly appreciate what you guys think, so when you guys take the time to review it makes my day. I want to give special thanks to: HIsland429 who has constantly provided contribution for this story. I really hope you guys enjoy this update.**

"I'm going to go look for Santana, and that cup of coffee." Ishmael said as he wiped away some tears from his eyes. He wanted to give the girls some space, and that was the first excuse that came to mind. Both Rachel and Quinn nodded but remained quiet as he stepped out. Rachel felt the urge to say something; she wanted to provide comforting words to sooth Quinn, but the fear of saying something wrong kept her from saying anything at all. All she could do was hold on to Quinn hoping that the embrace was enough to keep her wife near, where she belonged.

Quinn couldn't remember the last time she had felt so at peace. Rachel's arms had always been her save haven; they were the place she turned to whenever everything else seemed to be going wrong. It was that very set of arms that kept her afloat when the fear of drowning was like no other, when she found out that that same set of arms had been intimately wrapped around someone else it turned her world upside down. She didn't know where to turn; her shelter was no longer at home. Where could she go when her usual place for comfort was no longer available for her? The first thing she thought to do was to move out. She couldn't stand to look Rachel in the face much less share a home, and just the thought of sleeping in the same bed made her sick, so to finally be able to experience the serenity that came with being held by Rachel was a feeling she couldn't bring herself to describe. All she knew was that she finally felt safe, and didn't want the feeling to ever dissipate.

"Quinn as much as I take pleasure in having you in my arms, because I really do there really isn't anything more satisfying than the embrace of your body with mine" Quinn just smiled as she witnessed Rachel's customary ramble.

"Rach what is it? Just say it already."

"Would it be too much of an inconvenience for you to possibly scoot a little off my stomach, I still feel like I did a massive belly flop." She said with a pout.

"Say no more, I'm sorry I totally forgot." Quinn said with a smile as she turned to lie on her side instead of directly on top of Rachel.

"Don't apologize Quinn, I- I enjoyed this- I missed this"

"Me too" Quinn barely whispered before a slight knock interrupted them.

"Yo sorry to interrupt" Santana said as she made her way inside.

"I saw Ishmael outside and he said that you guys needed some alone time so I promise to make this quick." She said as she gave them both a wink, which caused both Quinn and Rachel to immediately turn a light shade of pink.

"Okay, so say it already." Quinn said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"I need to go to the office for a couple of hours, but I don't want to leave you stranded so I was going to offer you a ride to pick up your car. Geez don't need to be so rude Quinnie." Quinn just rolled her eyes.

"No it's okay I actually spoke to Sugar a little while ago, and she offered to take me home to get freshened up, and get something to eat."

"Q are you sure?" Santana asked as she noticed Rachel's face go from blissful to dejection in an instant.

"Yea, it's really no problem. We had made plans to meet up for lunch, but after I told her about last night she offered to give me a ride."

"How are you feeling Rach?" Santana asked completely ignoring Quinn's lack of sensitivity.

"I'm okay I just need some rest…" She said sounding wounded.

"Do you want me to step out with San while you get some sleep?" Quinn asked, but all she got in return was a silent shrug.

"Q! Don't be ridiculous stay and keep her company." Santana said as she made her way towards Rachel to give her a warming kiss on her temple. Then she walked towards Quinn, and pulled her into a hug as she whispered "Really Q Sugar?" Quinn just arched her eyebrow in confusion as Santana reached for the door.

"I know you're supposed to get out later on today, but I'll still try my best to make it back ASAP."

"Thanks San, I really appreciate it."

Moments later Ishmael entered the room and instantly felt the tension. Rachel was facing the wall and Quinn was typing away at her phone, so she didn't notice his presence until she felt a firm hand on her shoulder.

"Shit! You startled me." She said as she jumped out of her chair.

"I'm sorry dear I didn't mean to." Ishmael said with a chuckle, and at that Rachel turned to face both her father, and Quinn.

"How are you feeling honey?"

"Fine" She let out a sigh before she continued.

"I just wish people would stop asking me that every second they got."

"Sunshine we only do it because we care."

"I'm aware of that, and I truly appreciate it- I'm just tired." After hearing his daughter's deflated tone he turned to Quinn with a questioning look.

"I asked her if she wanted me to step out so that she could get some rest, but she didn't say anything."

Rachel couldn't believe how clueless Quinn was acting, and it was really pissing her off. Did she really think that it would be okay for her to mention Sugar without it upsetting her? Quinn was well aware of how much Rachel detested Sugar, so seriously what was she even thinking accepting a ride from her?

"Quinn you can do whatever the hell you desire!" Rachel spat out.

"Rachel! I know you're not feeling well, but that still doesn't give you an excuse to behave that way towards Quinn. She has been nothing but great with you all this time, and she doesn't deserve to get all of that from you."

"Yea, well no one asked her to! It's not her obligation to be by my bedside. She is free to do whatever she wants."

"Really Rach? Is that how you really feel?" Rachel just stood quiet before she spoke. She was way past being angry, but the ball was on her court. Did she really want to send Quinn away, especially if the direction she would be sending her off to lead her to Sugar?

"Rachel I asked you a question! Does my presence here bother you? Do you need me to- leave?" Once again there was silence until Rachel faintly gave her an answer.

"No" there was no way she was going to hand Quinn over to Sugar.

"No- I don't want you to leave Quinn I just don't want you to feel obligated to keep me company."

"Rachel, I'm not here because I feel forced! I'm here because you scared the hell out of me, and I want to make sure that you're truly okay. I don't know where you get this whole _obligated_ idea from."

Rachel just turned to her favorite wall in her hospital room. For some reason she found that staring at the wall made it easier to deal with what was going on around her.

"It's nothing Quinn, I just don't want to get in the way of any prior engagements you might have had…" Quinn let out a sigh as realization finally hit her.

"Does this have anything to do with Sugar giving me a ride?" Rachel just remained quiet. More than anything she wanted to jump out of bed and yell at the top of her lungs "YES!" Sugar was always to blame for everything, but somehow Quinn still didn't get it.

"No. Quinn I'm just tired, and not in the best frame of mind because of it."

Both Ishmael and Quinn knew that she was clearly lying, but didn't push her any further. She was already irritated and they didn't want to make things worse.

"Okay honey well just rest, don't mind Quinnie and I."

Ishmael said as he placed a kiss on his daughter's head. When he made his way back to his seat he noticed Quinn fidgeting in her chair as she held on to her right hand. She displayed a flushed look on her face which made it clear that she was experiencing discomfort.

"Quinn is something wrong?"

"No, it's just my hand" she winced in pain.

"I haven't had the chance to take my meds, and the ones they gave me last night are beginning to wear off."

Rachel perked her ears up as she heard the conversation between Quinn and her father, but remained in her same position, silently staring at the wall.

"Why don't you take them honey? Do you want me to go ask the nurse for some Tylenol, or something?" Ishmael offered expressing his concern, but Quinn just shook her head.

"No thank you, I'll be fine I just need to get something to eat before I can actually take them."

"Well go to the cafeteria sweetie, I'll keep Rachel company while you're away."

"Thanks, but I'm actually going to step out in a bit. I'm just waiting for a coworker to stop by so I can go home and freshen up."

At that Rachel let out a frustrated moan, which brought Quinn and Ishmael out of their current conversation.

"What is it Rach? Is your head hurting again? Do you need me to go get you some new ice packs?" Quinn asked as she got up to check on Rachel.

"No Quinn I'm just…"

"Tired!" Quinn interjected before Rachel used her being _tired_ as an excuse yet again.

"Rachel really what's going on?"

"What's going on Quinn, are you really asking me that?"

Rachel had enough. She couldn't keep pretending that she was okay with the whole Sugar situation.

"Yes really! I already told you that if my presence here bothered you I could leave."

"No Quinn! What bothers me is the fact that you carelessly state that- that bitch's name in my company."

"Rachel!" Her father tried to cut in, but Rachel continued.

"No daddy! I've had enough, and I'm not going to act as if I approve of the interaction between my **wife**, and that woman, while I'm here in bed. That's not okay with me! It never has been, and never will be."She looked right at Quinn as she finished what she was saying. Just then Quinn's phone went off.

"Hey shug, yea she's doing better, and she should be discharged later on today. Thanks I'll let her know, and I'll be right down in five."

As she ended her short conversation with Sugar Rachel rolled her eyes as tears escaped from her dark brown eyes. It certainly didn't go unnoticed by Quinn, which genuinely hurt her, but she didn't know what to do so she just turned to her father in law.

"Okay well I'll be back in about an hour. I'm just going to shower, and pick up something to eat. Do you need me to bring you anything? Have you eaten?"

"Yes, Santana brought me a bagel with my coffee; just make sure that you eat something so that you can take your medication. Michael would be so upset if he knew you weren't taking proper care of yourself." He said with a stern look, but with a smile at the end of it.

"Okay I will, just give me a call if something comes up while I'm gone. I'll make sure not to be long, but in any case you have my number." She said as she walked towards the door.

"Quinn…" Rachel faintly called out

"Yea?"

"You don't have to be bothered with coming back; I can give Santana a call when I'm discharged." It pained Quinn to hear Rachel's subtle way of sending her off, but she kept sturdy, and brushed the words as if they were harmless.

"You're right Rach- I don't _have_ to come back, but I will so just make sure to get some rest while I'm gone." She calmly replied as she walked out, and as soon as the door shut behind Rachel let out a loud sob. All Ishmael could do was take his daughter in his arms, and hold her tight.

Once outside Quinn heard a car horn go off, and sure enough it was Sugar signaling her to walk over. The moment she stepped into the car she was met with a warm embrace and a combined smell of cherries and cinnamon.

"You smell good shug!"

"Thanks!" Sugar smiled as she pulled away from their hug.

"How are you feeling hon? Oh my God what happened to your hand babe?" she asked the moment her eyes met the white cast wrapped around Quinn's right hand.

"Finn! Last night I ran into him at a bar, and before I knew it my fist was making contact with his face." She arched an eyebrow as the image of Finn's face brushed through her memory.

"What are you serious? Are you okay? He didn't dare touch you did he?" Sugar asked as she eyed the rest of Quinn's body cautiously letting her eyes set on her chest. Quinn was still in her red baby doll top so Sugar got quite the eye full. Noticing where Sugar's attention was directed Quinn self-consciously wrapped her arms around her chest.

"No I'm fine, he didn't get to do anything to me, and sadly I couldn't do much to him either because Puck was there to stop me before the bar's manager asked us to leave."

"Hon! I'm so sorry, but I'm glad nothing serious happened to you."

"Yea I know, and thanks I just wish there was a way I could somehow fast forward time to see where Rach, and I would end up. When Santana rushed in with her in her arms I swear everything inside me broke. I frankly don't know how I even made my way towards them because everything went numb. I'm surprised my legs didn't give up on me. I felt like my how world had stopped, and now- I just don't know what it all means."

"Well um- do you see yourself with her again- even after she _cheated_ on you?" Sugar asked making sure there was an emphasis on the word cheated.

"I don't know shug, I mean I can't say that there isn't any part of me that doesn't want to get back with her. I still love her- I don't think that's something that can just go away from one day to another."

"But it hasn't one day Quinn, It's been six months! Don't you think you owe it to yourself to move on and be happy with someone else, someone who won't hurt you the way that she has." Sugar said as she turned to Quinn.

"The thing is Sugar- she and I- we have a story. We were friends before anything, and I don't think there's a way I can possibly forget that, and it wouldn't be fair for me to start anything with anyone knowing that Rachel still has my heart, and probably always will."

"So there's your answer! You do plan to get back with her!" Sugar shouted as she through her arms in the air, and Quinn let out a loud sigh.

"No, I didn't say that- things are just too complicated right now, and more than anything I just want to be there for her until I know that she's okay, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to move back in. I- I'm going to take it day by day and see where that leaves me."

"Well whatever it is that you decide just know you can count me. I'll always be here to help in any way that I can." Sugar said with a wink as she placed a hand on Quinn's thigh.

"Now shall we get something to eat, or do you want to freshen up first?"

Back at the hospital Ishmael tried as best as he could to comfort Rachel. Without saying anything he let Rachel cry until it drove her to sleep. It broke his heart that his daughter was going through so much pain, but he knew that in way she only had herself to blame. Over the years he and his husband had grown to love Quinn as if she was their own daughter, so it was difficult for them to deal with the whole situation without neglecting what the other needed. He felt Quinn pull away, but that only made him hold on tighter. He knew Quinn still loved Rachel, he could see it every time Quinn looked at her. The look of love was always in her eyes, he just hoped that it was enough for them to fix things and get back together. Nothing would make him happier.

After grabbing a quick bite to eat Sugar drove Quinn to her studio so that she could shower and get ready. After all the rushing she was doing Quinn forgot to take her towel in to the bathroom. She thought about possibly making a run for it, but Sugar was out in the open so she immediately canceled that idea out.

"Shug!" Quinn shouted from the bathroom door.

"Yea hon?"

"Can you do me a HUGE favor?"

"Yea sure thing babe, what is it?"

"Um- can you bring me my towel? I left it on my bed." She said as she whined at the end, how could she forget her towel?

The moment sugar heard that she couldn't contain the smile on her face. The idea of a very wet, and naked Quinn standing there was too much for her to handle. How Rachel managed to sleep with someone else when she had Quinn by her side was way beyond her. Once she had the towel in her hand she made her way to the bathroom, but instead of knocking she decided to open the door on her own, and what she was met with was nothing compared to what she had just imagined, nothing could do justice to the actual thing. Quinn was gorgeous. Her body was perfect, curves in all the right places. Her breast weren't huge but they were perky, and she could only imagine how great it would be to brush her tongue against them.

"Sugar!" She was brought of her thoughts the instant that Quinn yanked the towel out of her hands and wrapped herself with it.

"I'm sorry Quinn! I- I wasn't thinking, I just figured it would be okay to walk in and hand it to you. I didn't mean anything by it, and honestly you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You have an amazing body, and any girl would be lucky to have you, I mean it any girl would be lucky to have it." She said with a wink as she left Quinn to get dressed.

Quinn couldn't believe how blunt and open Sugar could be about certain things. Obviously Quinn had to change in a locker filled with naked women during her time as a Cheerio, but it wasn't something that she fully felt comfortable with. She always tried to be the last to shower, and when she didn't have time to wait she rushed through the process, so for Sugar to walk in on her really threw her off. Once Quinn had gotten dressed, and taken her medication both she and Sugar made their way to Sugar's car.

"Quinn are you okay? You seem a little tense." Quinn shook her head, but remained silent.

"Are you sure? This wouldn't have anything to do with me getting an eyeful would it?" She asked with a giggle as she raked Quinn's body with her eyes.

"Because as I said before you have a great body and have nothing to worry about."

"Sugar!"

"What? I'm just being honest with you! Is there something wrong we me admiring my friend's body? You obviously work hard to keep in shape, so isn't it the same as me complimenting a pair of shoes that you worked hard to obtain?" Quinn just shook her head and laughed.

"No! How can you compare my naked body to a pair of shoes?"

"Oh trust me there is no comparison." She said with a wink which resulted with Quinn's cheeks turning a fair crimson shade.

"Okay we end this conversation here." Quinn said as she reached the passenger side of the car.

"I mean it shug!" She said with an arched eyebrow.

"Whatever you say sweet heart" Sugar sing songed as she unlocked the car's door and made her way inside.

"So am I taking you straight to the hospital, or do we need to make another stop?"

"Um actually can you give me a ride to Rachel's I left my car there remember?"

"Oh that's right, so um I spoke to Mary and she asked about you. She said you had mentioned something about returning to work at the end of this week. Do you want me to let her know that that might not be the case anymore?"

"Yea I was actually thinking about asking for a couple of more days, because of Rach, but her dad is going to spend the rest of the week here, and Santana has promised to help as well so I think I should be making an appearance at the school tomorrow. Wonder if the kids have even missed me, on second thought I doubt that! I don't think they miss all those practice personal statements I make them write." She said with a laugh.

"You know those kids love you. They need someone like you to guide them and prepare them for what comes next, and I'm super glad you're coming back! I miss my lunch body" Sugar said with her 100 watt smile.

"You know Quinn- I don't think I have been able to really thank you for all that you've done for me, or- apologized." Quinn looked to Sugar with a bit of confusion.

"Apologize for what Shug? And really you don't have to thank me. That's what friends are for!" Quinn said with a smile.

"I know Quinn, but still. When everything between me and Rory happened I reached out to you, and I can't help but feel guilty for all the trouble that it caused in your marriage. If- I hadn't called you that night, you would have never gotten in that argument with Rachel, and she- she wouldn't have…"

"Enough!" Quinn shouted. She was about to go see Rachel. She didn't need for images of that night to invade her memory. All of that needed to be put aside so she could fully be there to help Rachel, and be there for whatever she needed.

"I'm sorry…" Sugar barely uttered.

"No, I'm sorry shug. I didn't mean to yell at you I promise it's just that as I said earlier everything is really confusing right now, and I really don't want to talk about that in this moment, but I assure you that you have nothing to be sorry about." Sugar just nodded and was silent for the rest of the car ride until they arrived at Quinn's parked car.

"Well here we are. Will you give me a call if you need anything? You know I'm here for whatever."

"Thanks shug, I really appreciate it, and I will. Plus I will see you tomorrow." Quinn leaned in to say her good bye and was met with a kiss just centimeters away from her lips.

"Okay well then I'll see you tomorrow love!" Quinn just nodded, and then made her way to her car.

**I really hope you guys enjoyed this update, and I apologize for not updating as often as I said I would. I thought that being on break from school would mean that I would have more time to write, but somehow things always come up. I hope you all enjoyed your Holiday break and that this New Year has nothing but great things in store for you and all your loved ones. I will start school very soon, but plan on updating at least once a week. One of my new year's resolution is consistency so let's hope I stick to it lol. Please let me know what you think. Is there anything you guys want to see? I always look forward to your input. Also I got an anon message that said my updates weren't uploading. Are a lot of you guys having difficulties with this? Please let me know so I can look into it and fix it. Thanks guys! **

**-A girl I once knew**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Ok so first off thanks for following this story and adding it your alerts that always makes me happy, so thank you for bringing me happiness! Secondly I just want to say wow! Lol The feedback that I got back was intense lol. I sense you guys aren't Sugar fans, and trust me your feelings are more than justified, I just hope that you still come along for the ride because we still have a long road ahead of us, so brace yourselves. Thanks once again and I hope that you enjoy this update.**

**Special Thanks to:**

LeCosaMaisBella

HIsland429

Fate-187

Cassie

**Your comments are very much appreciated**

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><p>It was right around five when Rachel was officially released from the hospital, and Ishmael couldn't have been more pleased. When Quinn returned to the hospital Rachel was still sleeping, and remained that way for about an hour during Quinn's presence, but the moment she awoke Ishmael prayed that somehow she would fall back to sleep. To say that you could cut the tension with a knife was an understatement. Growing up Rachel was always known for her temper tantrums when things didn't go her way, and now things weren't much different. She wasn't happy with Quinn's return and made it obvious. She even gave the nice nurse a hard time when she came to check up on her. The only thing Ishmael could do was apologize on her behalf, so when the doctor finally stopped by with the good news he nearly jumped for joy.<p>

"Honey you're ready to head out?" He asked Rachel as he handed her the bag with her clothes.

"Yes" was all she got out.

"Okay well I'm going to step out so you can get dressed." Since Quinn didn't seem to make an effort to step out Rachel just glared at her.

"Oh- do you need me to step out? I was just sticking around in case you needed my help, or something."

"Quinn, I would very much appreciate it if you would step out while I got dressed. Thank you!" At that Quinn just walked out without saying a word.

Once Rachel was dressed and the doctor had stopped by with the discharge papers Ishmael and Rachel made their way to the front of the hospital while Quinn went around to get her car. Although the hospital was only a fifteen minute drive from Rachel's apartment the trip there seemed endless. Rachel insisted on sitting in the back, and continued to ignore whatever Quinn threw her way. Ishmael tried the best he could to ease things up, but once again was grateful when Quinn finally pulled up by Rachel's place. She dropped them off, and then looked for parking. Ishmael used that as an excuse to speak to Rachel.

"Sunshine" He said as they made their way inside the building.

"Yes daddy?"

"How long are you going to keep this thing going? Quinn…" Before he could continue Rachel cut him off.

"Daddy! Please, I really don't want to talk about this right now. All I want to do is take a warm bath, and once I'm out snuggle in my bed until sleep fully consumes me. Quinn- is the last thing I want to even think about."

"Look honey, I know this is difficult for you to handle, especially because you still love her, so watching her walk in and out like that can't be easy. I just want you to be aware of the possibilities that your actions can cause. If you keep acting this way, you'll only send her off; she will no longer return" Rachel just shook her head. Her fathers were always very fond of Quinn, and she had always been thankful for that, but at that moment she really couldn't take it anymore. She wanted her dad to be understanding and just be there for her. She didn't need him to remind her about how screwed up her marriage was, much less that she could potentially lose the love of her life forever.

"My actions are completely reasonable, as are my emotions! I know I messed up. I've been aware of that for the longest, and I get that I hurt her, and I regret that more and more with each day that passes me by daddy. Trust me, but she- she walked away to be with her! I can't daddy- I just can't anymore. If she doesn't love me why does she stick around? I just want her to leave!" Ishmael took his daughter in his arms and walked her inside her apartment. Once inside he ushered her to the couch and they both sat down as he held Rachel the same way he did when she was a little girl- his little girl.

"I know honey, I know. Trust me when I say that because I know how much it hurts you to be away from her. We've already experienced that once before and it tore you a part, but you guys made it through, and you both swore that it made you stronger, so why is this any different? Why don't you fight for her Rachel! Your father and I didn't raise you to be a quitter! We taught you to fight for what was yours, and we taught you to stand up to all those nays, until they became yays." Rachel let out a slight giggle at her dad's little rhyme, but instantly took it back when she thought about Quinn no longer loving her.

"But she doesn't love me anymore! She was only at the hospital out of pity! If she truly cared she wouldn't have left."

"Rachel! I can assure you that that is not the case at all!"

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I know!"

"But how do you know? Has she told you?"

"No- not necessarily I just know, that's all."

"Daddy!"

"Rachel, it's all in her eyes. The look that she gets when she's around you- it's the same look she's had from the very first time your father and I caught you both in a compromising position. You know what I'm talking about right?" Rachel did, how could she forget the first time they kissed? But she couldn't let her father know that.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Fine you keep being in denial, but deep down you _know_ it's the truth. If I can see it all in her eyes, there is no way that you can't! After all she is your wife." He said as he pulled away from their embrace and got off the couch.

"Where are you going?"

"Well while you sit there and pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about, I am going to shower. I hope that my time in there gives _you_ time to think, and to clear your head."

As he made his way into the bathroom Rachel did just as he said. She allowed herself to go back in time, back to the very first time Quinn ever looked at her with eyes of desire, eyes of need, eyes of passion, and love. She allowed herself to go back to the very moment that started everything. It's really crazy how the mind works, and how powerful it can actually be, because just after a few minutes she could almost hear that knock in the background. It was a Friday night during their junior year of high school. Rachel's fathers had both been away for the night because Michael had a luncheon at the hospital so they left Rachel some money for takeout. Just as she was about to sit down to watch_ Funny Girl_ for the second time that day she heard a knock on the door.

"Wow this Thai place sure is serious when they say speedy delivery or your money back. I'm coming just give me a minute." She said as she went to get the money from the counter and headed towards the door.

"Q- uinn, what- why are you here?" She asked barely keeping her balance.

"Rach I um- do you think I can come in? It's kind of raining out and…"

"Yes, of course I wouldn't want you catching some type of cold, your voice is much needed in glee club, and right now we can't afford to lose any of our members." Rachel rambled as Quinn made her way in.

"Thanks" Quinn said as she took off her Cheerio jacket, and Rachel just gave her a nod.

"Well Quinn, what brings you around to this side of town on a Friday night? I'd assume you'd be somewhere off with Santana, and Brittany?" Rachel asked as she stared at the barely dry blonde across from her.

"I um- I just- I was hoping we could talk?" Quinn nervously asked as she bit on her bottom lip.

"Okay? And what is on your mind Quinn?"

"Well I, I don't know- I just miss you Rachel. I know you said you needed time, and I promise that I understand why you need it, but I miss you! I miss coming over here, I miss us talking on phone for hours. I even miss your subtle attempts to get me to listen to the _Funny Girl_ soundtrack over and over again. I just miss us okay!"

Right as Quinn finished what she was saying she dropped her head, hoping that Rachel hadn't seen the small tear that escaped her left eye. She knew Rachel had every reason to ask for space. She was actually shocked that the girl had let her in. The truth was that towards the end of junior high Quinn had developed some type of feelings for Rachel, but she didn't know what they meant, or what to do with them. She just knew that she had never felt that way about anyone before, and it kind of scared her. She tried to brush them off convincing herself that it was okay for her to feel that way because they were best friends, but deep down she somehow knew it meant more. Confused with the way things were going she casually brought it up to her older sister using the good old "_I have a friend, who might have feelings for a girl, and she doesn't know what to do about it_" type of thing, but immediately regretted it when her sister told her that her _friend_ was a sinner and that if she knew any better she would make new friends.

Her sister's advice was all it took for her to keep a distance between her and Rachel. She started by avoiding Rachel at school, and ignoring her calls all summer. Before either of them knew it they were starting high school. Rachel had called her the night before, and she considered letting it go to voice mail, but the urge to hear Rachel's voice in that instant over powered her so she picked up, and agreed to meet up before their first period to exchange schedules. A part of her knew it was a bad idea, but she couldn't help herself so she arrived at school extra early, and was completely caught off guard when Rachel was already waiting for her in a super short argyle skirt with a tight white blouse on. There was no way that it was okay for her to feel that way about her best friend, she couldn't.

"Quinn!" Rachel waved at her full of excitement.

"How many cups of coffee did you have before you got here?" Rachel gave her a small frown.

"I resent that, but if you must know I had one, and a Frappuccino**." **She made sure to whisper the last part out, but Quinn caught it and caused her to giggle.

"Rach that stuff is bad for you, you're too small to be consuming so much caffeine."

"No I checked there is no height limit for coffee consumption."

"Rachel Barbra Berry, you're a dork you know that?" Quinn threw out jokingly, but couldn't help but feel bad the moment Rachel's dark brown eyes looked at her with plead.

"Is that why you've been avoiding me all summer?"

"What? No Rach I just- I've been busy with Cheerio stuff. There was some training we had to do before today's official tryouts."

"You promise?" Rachel asked with a pout.

"Of course what other reason would I have?" Rachel just gave her a smile.

"None I assume, because we are best friends right?"

"Of course!"

"So does this mean you're coming over after school?"

"Ugh no Rach sorry I have tryouts, and I honestly don't know how long it's going to run, but my sister said that the couch was no joke so that I better be prepared for whatever she threw my way." Rachel nodded but the frown she sported let Quinn know she was disappointed.

"Hey Rach don't give me that look, I promise we'll hang out later this week. I just need to land a spot on the squad, and once everything is set we can go back to our normal hang outs." Quinn said with a promising smile.

"Promise?"

"I promise." Quinn said, but that promise was quickly broken, because her feelings for Rachel grew stronger, and she knew that the more she was around her the worst they would get, so she decided to completely cut Rachel off. Although emotionally it was one of the hardest things she ever had to do, socially it was very easy. Rachel wasn't necessarily popular, and her wardrobe didn't help her cause, so Quinn used that as an excuse to stay away. Shortly after Quinn started dating Finn who was the quarter back at their school. She really prayed that he would be enough to forget about Rachel, but he wasn't. Whenever he kissed her all she could think of was Rachel's lips, and how great it would be to actually place her lips on top of hers. She imagined that they would be gentle and soft, not rough and chapped like Finn's. Just the thought of that was enough to turn her on, so she would quickly pull away from Finn and encouraged him to pray to get those thoughts out of their heads. Sometimes she felt bad for him, and considered calling things off because she didn't love him, but she knew that with him by her side no one would ever find out about her feelings for Rachel.

One night after Cheerio's practice she caught Finn and Rachel talking outside of the choir room. She saw Rachel grab Finn's hand and pull him down to give him a kiss on the cheek. That was all it took for her to get into HBIC mode, seeing Rachel display that type of affection towards Finn drove her insane with jealousy. Why couldn't Rachel hold her hand? Why couldn't Rachel look at her with that type of desire? She needed to get away and soon. There was no way she could approach them. She was sure that if she did she would slap Finn across the face and demand that he stayed away from Rachel before she pulled her into a kiss, and walked away holding her hand, so instead she just left the school. As she was reaching her car Puck caught up with her and invited her to his house. Letting the anger and jealousy consume her she agreed knowing very well that any girl that left with Puck would end up sleeping with him.

After a couple of wine coolers he got her to loosen up, and before she knew it her clothes started coming off. Part of her wanted to say no, and get out of there, but another part of her hoped that sleeping with Puck would finally make her forget about Rachel so she did just that. She gave herself to him in hopes that Rachel would officially be out of her mind and heart, but she wasn't. It was all done a lot faster than it began. She got dressed as fast as she could and Ran out of Puck's house. She felt dirty, and scared. More than anything she needed her best friend- she needed Rachel. Rachel always made her feel better when everything else was going wrong, but she knew she couldn't approach her, because Rachel was the one that led her to losing her virginity to someone that she wasn't even dating, and someone who she didn't love. She got into her car, and drove to Rachel's but after several hours of just sitting in her car crying she decided to drive home and sleep, hoping that the next day it would all go away.

Needless to say it didn't go away, and within a couple of weeks she started experiencing symptoms that let her know it would never go away. She insisted that it was something that she ate, but deep down she knew that that wasn't the case. She knew Puck didn't use protection, and she had never even seen any type of contraceptive pills in her life so that was out of the question. When she was officially late she considered letting Puck know, but there was no way that he could be the father of her baby. Puck didn't take anything or anyone seriously, sure he had his charmful ways, but that wasn't what she needed so she decided to let Finn know instead. She hadn't slept with him, but Finn always came when they made out with a little touching so she hoped that was all she needed to convince him it was his.

As the days went by word got out that Quinn was pregnant. No one could believe it, especially not Rachel she and Quinn always talked about saving themselves for marriage. When the rumors spread around Rachel confronted her, and Quinn denied it, but as the months went on she started to show. She wanted to be there for her former best friend, but she was afraid to even show that she cared, because it only caused her trouble. To make matters worse she heard that the baby she was caring wasn't even Finn's, and that enraged her. It was one thing for Quinn to be pregnant with her boyfriend's baby, because at least it happened with someone she loved and cared about, but for her to give herself up to Puck was completely out of the question. Rachel couldn't help but feel hurt, betrayed, and even a bit of jealousy, but she tried to cover it all up by saying that she only felt that way out of sympathy for Finn because he was a nice guy, but was that even possible? Do people feel jealousy out of sympathy? She didn't know. All she knew was that she had to tell Finn. He had every right to know, so she approached him and told him the truth.

The only problem with that was that she felt terrible the instant that she actually told him, especially when she saw the broken look across Quinn's face. She hated herself for causing her so much pain so she ran after her to apologize, and even offered to let Quinn hit her as long as she avoided her nose, but to her surprise Quinn wasn't angry. She said she understood what Rachel had done, but that she needed her space. After that Quinn sort of drifted out in the background until she had Beth and gave her up for adoption. That was officially the hardest thing she had to do, so Rachel tried her best to be there for her even if things were awkward between them, because shortly after Finn broke up with Quinn he and Rachel started dating.

Once Quinn had Beth she spent all her time working out rain, or shine. She was always at the school's gym or running in the park. She needed to get back in shape, and she needed for it to happen fast so that she could take back what was hers. She knew that Santana wouldn't be willing to give her the top spot with her arms crossed so she had to go the extra mile. More than anything she needed to be at the top again. Being at the top meant that no one could touch her, and that meant that if Rachel felt the same way about her, her social status would be enough to protect her. It worked for Santana and Brittany, and that was enough to give her hope. Granted that Santana and Brittany weren't officially out at their school, but anyone with eyes knew that they were a couple, and were okay with it, so she only hoped that Rachel would love her back. Seeing Rachel with Finn destroyed her inside, and she knew that she had to do whatever she could to break them up. She loved Rachel, and although it took her getting pregnant to accept it she was now ready to embrace it, and if there was even a slight possibility that Rachel shared those feelings for her she was going to take them and run. She wasn't going to make the same mistake ever again she needed her back, back where she belonged.

When she convinced the couch to let her be the head cheerleader again it didn't go well with Santana, and they even got into a fight in the middle of the hall way which caused a riot in the hall until Mr. Shue broke them up. Once they both cooled down, Quinn explained to Santana why she needed to be at the top, and although she claimed not to be fond of Rachel she agreed to help Quinn get her girl, because she couldn't picture what it would be like to see Brittany with anyone else, so slowly but surely they both made effort to get Rachel's trust, and with the help of Brittany they were all on speaking terms. The only thing Rachel asked for was time, because it was all too much for her to handle. Sure she and Quinn had been best friends before they entered high school, but the moment they entered high school Quinn became someone completely different, and it scared her. It scared her because someone who she loved and trusted more than anything in the world hurt her really bad, and she didn't know how to go back to that without running the risk of getting hurt once more.

Quinn knew that she had to give Rachel time, and she was willing to do that as long as it meant that in the end she could have her back. She had every intention of giving her the space that she needed, but as the days went by it only got harder to see her with Finn. She couldn't control what her heart felt, if she could she would have stopped herself from going through so much pain the years before but she couldn't all she could do was watch the girl she loved be with someone else. It tore her up inside, and she knew she had to get Rachel to trust her again, so one Friday night after a late Cheerio's practice she asked Santana to drop her off at Rachel's house. Santana was a little hesitant at first because Rachel had been very clear about needing time, but after a few kisses from Brittany she agreed to it, as long as Quinn promised to give her a call if things went wrong. Once she did Quinn found herself at Rachel's door step getting drenched as she waited for the girl to open the door, and when she finally did she was left speechless. Luckily Rachel allowed her in. The only thing left to do was to get Rachel to hear her out, so that she could trust her again. She prayed that Rachel could see the sincerity in every word that she spoke so that she could remember her for the Cherry Jolly Rancher lover girl that she was in 6th grade.

When she had finally told Rachel how much she missed her it became too much for her to handle so she hoped that the tear that escaped her eye didn't make her appear as weak. It was now up to Rachel to speak, and she hoped that she spoke soon because she was just seconds away from running out the door, but as she was thinking that Rachel's hand brought her out of her thoughts.

"Quinn- I can't deny that I miss you- us that I miss us, because I do! Trust me more than anything, but you also have to understand that for me our freshman year, as well as our sophomore year was quite miserable, and you were the source of that misery." Quinn couldn't help but wince at what Rachel said, because it was the truth. She had hurt the girl she loved and she couldn't forgive herself so she pulled away.

"Quinn, please hear me out. I'm simply saying that it frightens me how much power you have over my emotions okay? So it's a bit difficult to let you back in without letting some time pass us by. I'm just- scared Quinn." She said as she shed some tears, and it broke Quinn's heart.

"Rach, I'm sorry please don't cry! I know I've been an idiot, but I promise that it won't happen again, nothing and I mean nothing is worth not having you around. I'm sorry it has taken me this long to figure it out, but you have to know that I mean it! It was so hard not to have you around these past years. I really missed you, more than you'll ever know, and I know it was my own fault, but I want to make things right. Can you please give me the chance to make things right? I promise you that I will never let anyone ever hurt you again. They will have to go through me first if they even consider touching even one strand of your hair. You believe me Rach, don't ya? I'm still the girl that you gave Cherry Jolly Ranchers to just so she could teach you some cheer leading moves. It's still me. I was just a little lost, but now I found my way back, and I need you to help me stay grounded. Can you trust that I'm being honest, and that I mean every word I've said? Please Rach all I ask is that you give me the chance to make it right. You're my best friend and I need you back. Please believe me!"

Once she was done speaking the tears started rolling down one after the other. Even though she hadn't told Rachel the truth as to why she had pushed her away, letting her know how much she missed her and needed her felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. All she needed was for Rachel to say she believed her so that everything could be okay. Rachel wanted to say no, she wanted to keep a wall between her and Quinn, because she didn't want Quinn to have the power to hurt her ever again, but for some reason she couldn't, because the look in Quinn's eyes when she spoke said it all. Quinn had never looked at her like that before, and it sent a shiver down her spine, because even if Quinn hadn't said a word the look in her eyes would've said it all. Her eyes were remorseful, they were eyes that showed fear, fear of rejection, but at the same time they were eyes that showed hope, and love all at the same time. It was safe to say that no one had ever looked at her the way Quinn did in that moment, and that was enough for Rachel to believe her and trust her, enough to keep the wall down. She just hoped she wouldn't have to bring the wall back up ever again.

"I- do, I believe you…" It was all she had the chance to say before Quinn had taken her into her arms, and before she knew it Quinn's lips were taking hers hostage. She wanted to pull away because everything about the situation set off alarms, but at the same time it felt so right. Quinn's kiss was unlike any other she'd ever had. It was gentle and soft, but with so much passion and desire. Sure the only other person she had ever kissed was Finn, but still she was sure that Quinn was the best kisser in the world. She actually felt fireworks.

She had always heard that a good kiss felt like fireworks were setting off, and she secretly hoped that her kiss with Finn would provide that for her, but it didn't so she assumed it was all a lie, and she couldn't have been more wrong. Kissing Quinn Fabray felt like the fourth of July. Just when she thought that the kiss couldn't get any better she felt Quinn's soft tongue slightly brush against her lips, and almost instantly she granted it access. The second Quinn's tongue entered her mouth she was a goner. There was no way it was acceptable to feel that good. Quinn's kiss made her feel like she was floating on a cloud and she never wanted to get off of it. She had made out with Finn countless of times, but none of them ever made her feel tension at the pit of her stomach, tension that she desperately needed to release so without even knowing what she was doing, she began to buck her hips forward until they made contact with Quinn's and she lost it. If she thought she was gone before, now she didn't even exist. She was no longer a being on this earth, because Quinn had taken her away to far away land, and she never wanted to return. Apparently Quinn felt the same way because once they were both rocking their hips back and forth Quinn started to move her hands frantically throughout Rachel's body until they reached their desired destination, which was Rachel's firm ass. Once they were there they squeezed which caused them both to whimper, and moan with desire.

Rachel was so busy in her thoughts that she didn't even notice that Quinn had made it back to the apartment, until she was waving her hand in front of her.

"Rachel, are you okay? You look a little flushed." She asked as she placed a hand to her forehead and moved it down her cheeks to feel her temperature.

"You're a little warm, do you feel okay? The doctor said that there was a possibility for you to run a fever due to your dehydration, but the medicine he prescribed was supposed to keep it controlled. Should I call him?" Quinn was rambling which was a trait she had picked up from Rachel many years ago the only difference was that she only did it when she was worried or nervous and Rachel, well Rachel did it all the time.

"Quinn, I'm fine it's just a little warm in here, that's all." Rachel said with a smile as she took Quinn's hands into her own.

"Are you sure, because he insisted that I call him if something didn't seem right?"

"Yes Quinn I promise I'm okay there is no need for you to worry."

"Okay well if you insist then I won't call. Where is your dad?"

"Daddy is in the shower, he said he needed to freshen up, and you know that if he heard you referring to him as _my_ dad it would offend him." Rachel stated with a smile.

"I know, it's just sometimes I forget that it's still okay." She said with a sigh.

"Quinn it will always be okay, and you know that! Both daddy and dad love you. You never have to question that." Quinn just nodded.

"So how far did you park? You were gone for quite some time."

"Oh yea sorry, I was going to go park, but then I remembered that the doctor made a list of foods you had to stay away from and a list of foods you could eat so I went to the market, and picked up some stuff to make your fave vegetable and noodle soup. That was the only thing I could make without setting our kitchen on fire, and it always helped with your upset stomach so I thought I would make you some." She said with a smile.

"Quinn, really you didn't have to."

"Rachel would you please stop saying that, you make it seem like I'm forced to do it, when I do it because I want to. So would you please let me do this for you?" Rachel just nodded and smiled, not because Quinn was pleading for her to let her take care of her, but because she saw that look. The look that Ishmael was talking about, and the look that had just invaded her memory, and she knew that her Quinn was still there, that she still loved her, and that was all she needed to know that things were going to be okay.

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><p><strong>Okay here is update number eight. I know that there wasn't a lot of dialogue but I wrote it that way because of the memories, if it's something that you guys don't like please let me know so I avoid doing it in the future. Also I just wanted to say that I planned on posting this update up a couple of days ago, but after the YesNo episode I couldn't contain my Faberry feelings so I had to put them into my writing. If you're interested in reading what my feelings produced feel free to check it out. It's called "When You're Ready Faberry" but I must warn you it's just a one shot. I hope you guys enjoy this update and share your thoughts, as they're always appreciated.**

**Thank you,**

**-A girl I once knew**


	9. Chapter 9

**Here is another update, glad you guys like the flash back sort of thing, because I think that with this story it's kind of essential. I got a lot of positive feedback, and it makes me smile because for awhile there I thought I had lost a couple of your guy's interest. This update has a little bit of everything. I hope you guys enjoy it.**

**Special thanks to:**

Fate-187

Cassie

Chatterbox

HIsland429

DonH

**Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and I hope you continue enjoying this fic.**

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><p>"Okay Rach I must warn you, I haven't made this soup in awhile so please bear with me." Quinn said with a smile as she chopped some vegetables and left the water boiling.<p>

"I'm sure it will be great! Cooking is sort of like riding a bike, once you get moving it's hard to fall off"

"Well obviously you've forgotten who you're dealing with, because last time I nearly burnt down this kitchen just by making toast." Quinn laughed at the memory.

"That is true, but to be fair the fire department blamed it on an electrical issue, so we can't really use that against you can we?" Rachel asked with a smile across her face.

"I guess you're right. I suddenly feel the urge to try out for _Top Chef_ or something."

"Woa okay let's not get ahead of ourselves now, let's see how your soup comes out, and then we can see about signing you up."

"Are you mocking me Rachel?" Rachel faked a shocked expression.

"What? Have I ever been guilty of such a thing?"

"You don't really need me to answer that do you?" Quinn asked with a giggle.

"Quinn I've always been sincere when it comes to the qualities you possess. Unfortunately cooking isn't one of those qualities, however your vegetable and noodle soup is rather delicious so get to it woman!" Quinn arched her eyebrow at the command.

"Listen here Miss Bossy Mc. Boss Pants, please and thank you goes a very long way you know?" At that Rachel broke out in laughter.

"_Miss Bossy Mc. Boss Pants_? Really Quinn what are we in first grade?" Quinn made a pout at that remark.

"Hey I thought that was actually kind of clever."

"Oh it was, if we were in the first grade." Quinn stuck out her tongue and threw a chopped carrot towards Rachel hitting her right on the nose which then caused Quinn to break out in laughter.

"Quinn Berry- Fabray, playing with one's food is not something to laugh about." Right as she was about to apologize she was met with a cherry tomato to the face.

"Rachel!"

"What? You know what they say if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen!"

"Hilarious! Now what happened to behaving like a _first grader_?" Quinn asked with a smirk.

"Well you started it!"

"Yea, and I'll also be the one to end it!" Quinn shouted as she grabbed a handful of noodles and tangled them into Rachel's hair.

"Quinn!"  
>"Hey if <em>you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen<em>!" Once again Quinn stuck out her tongue.

"Very mature, you're just lucky your height gives you an advantage otherwise you would be sorry!"

"Is that so?"

"Yes that is very much so." Rachel replied as Quinn got to her knees.

"Well bring it on then short stuff!" Rachel just broke into laughter. There was no way she could take Quinn seriously after doing that.

"You're not serious are you?" Quinn just nodded.

"Dead serious! Let's see what you got now that we're practically the same height." Caught up in their little food fight neither of them noticed that Ishmael had entered the room.

"Girls what is going on? Quinn honey, I've always known that cooking wasn't your forte, but I was pretty sure you knew were the ingredients went." Ishmael said with a smile. The scene that he was confronted with when he got out of the shower reminded him of the earlier stages of the girls' relationship, and he only hoped that this was the start of better things to come.

"Oh I'm sorry; I got a little carried away." Quinn said as she picked herself off the ground.

"Rachel was insulting my mad cooking skills, and I had to teach her a lesson" Quinn said with a smirk.

"Right! Says the girl who was just kneeling down beside me."

"I only did that because you insisted that my height gave me the advantage when we both know that wasn't the case at all!"

"Girls! You're acting like a bunch of-"  
>"first graders!" Both Quinn and Rachel interjected at the same time and couldn't help but laugh.<p>

"Okay I must have been in that shower for quite some time, because you two are acting completely different from the way you were when we left the hospital, not that I'm complaining or anything, although I could do without the food fight. Regardless I'm glad that you guys are now on speaking terms." When Ishmael said that, it broke both Rachel and Quinn out of their bubble. For a moment they had both escaped reality, and somehow had made their way into their force field, but when Ishmael mentioned the hospital reality kicked in.

"Right, I'll clean this right up." Quinn said as she got the dust pan out.

"Yea and I'm going to take a quick shower." Rachel said as she left the room. Suddenly Ishmael felt guilty, but he wasn't sure why. All he knew was that he had interrupted an intimate moment and mentally kicked himself for it.

"Quinn did I- I'm sorry for bringing up the hospital. My intention wasn't to bring discomfort."

"I know that dad; you have nothing to worry about. Rach and I, we're okay- the thing is that a lot has happened, and I think that sometimes we get caught up in the moment, and we forget how much is left to figure out. You know what I mean?" Ishmael just nodded.

"Quinn"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"  
>"Of course- anything"<p>

"You and that Candy girl- are you guys- do you guys have something going on?" He asked as Quinn broke into a smile. She wasn't sure if he had called her Candy by accident, or on purpose, but it was quite clever.

"Sugar"  
>"What?" Ishmael asked.<p>

"Her name is Sugar, not Candy" She clarified with a smile.

"What kind of a name is Sugar?"

"A sweet name?" Quinn asked with a giggle, and Ishmael just gave her a smirk.

"Right, well any way back to my question. Are you guys dating?"

"What? No! Sugar is just a co-worker who happens to be my friend. That's all I wouldn't date anyone right now. Especially not since Rachel and I have a lot to work on. What gave you that idea?" Quinn asked a little caught off guard.

"Nothing it's just that Rachel has never been fond of her, and well at first I tried to reason with her, but now I'm not sure if I should be doing that? Does she have something to be worried about? I don't ask you this to reprimand you Quinn, because as you know I genuinely care about you and your happiness regardless if you and Rachel are together, or not. The only reason why I ask this is because I don't know if I'm giving Rachel false hope when it comes to your marriage. I know what she did isn't easy to move past from, but sometimes love is strong enough to move mountains. So I guess what I'm really asking is whether I should encourage Rachel to hold on, or to simply learn to let go?"

Quinn didn't know how to answer that question. It was all too much for her at that moment. Just a couple of days ago she was struggling just to hold a conversation with her wife over the phone. Then she had to give herself the strength to interact with her wife in person after six long months of no contact. How did she go from that to nearly losing her, and then to have to decide at that moment whether, or not Rachel had reason to hold on to whatever was left of their marriage. She was hoping that that was something time could help her decide, but now Ishmael wanted an answer, and she didn't know what to say, or what to do.

"I don't know." Was all she could utter.

"I know it's all too much for you to process at this moment, all I ask is that you're honest with Rachel, but most importantly that you're honest with yourself and what you feel. Don't turn into the Quinn that hid behind the cheer leader outfit just to avoid what she really felt. Don't turn into the Quinn that let fear completely control her actions and behavior. Loving someone can be a very dangerous thing, because when we love we make ourselves vulnerable, and fully expose ourselves to the one that we love in hopes that they could do the same, but doing that also means that we run the risk of getting hurt. Not everyone we come across is worthy of that. It is then up to us to decide who is, and how much pain we allow them to bring into our lives without breaking us to our core. It's okay to be afraid of getting hurt again Quinn, because you have already fallen and now you're aware of how much hitting the ground hurts, but you and I both know that as much as it hurts to hit the ground, the ability to walk is worth a couple of stumbling here and there. You can't allow fear to leave you immobile, you must push that aside and take off." Quinn didn't even know she was crying until Ishmael reached up to wipe some tears off her face. He then held her into his arms until Rachel made her presence known.

"What happened? What's wrong?" Rachel asked as she approached them.

"Nothing" Quinn replied as she straightened herself up.

"I was just chopping some onions and I got all teary eyed, that's all."

"And that's why you needed daddy to console you?" Rachel asked not believing a word Quinn had said.

"Okay well I'm going to unpack some of my clothes; I'll leave you two to talk." Ishmael said as he gave Quinn a comforting look.

"Okay so what was really going on?" Rachel asked once more.

"Nothing, Rach we were just talking." Rachel stomped her foot and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Quinn, we can't keep doing this!"  
>"Doing what?"<p>

"This!" Was all Rachel said as she motioned between them.

"Our relationship is already screwed up as it is, if there is any hope of us fixing things we need to start being honest with each other Rachel said, and Quinn just nodded.

"You're right- It's just I don't know Rach. So much has gone on, and I honestly don't know where to begin." Rachel reached out to grab Quinn's left hand and when she didn't pull away she smiled.

"Well how about we start off with me apologizing for the way I acted at the hospital?" Rachel asked with a smile.

"You don't have to apologize for that Rach, I know you were tired and the lack of medication was getting the best of you. So I don't hold that against you one bit."

"Well that's only part of the reason for my behavior." Rachel said honestly.

"What's the other reason?"

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to get mad, and you have to let me finish before you interrupt." After Quinn agreed Rachel continued.

"Okay, well this isn't easy for me." Rachel admitted, and Quinn gave her hand a gentle squeeze for reassurance.

"I know I have no reason to be upset, trust me, but as you know I rarely have control of my actions when my emotions get the best of me, and well when that happens I do things for all the wrong reasons."

"Okay Rach, I really don't see where you are going with this?" Rachel just gave her a stern look.

"You promised you wouldn't interrupt until I was finished."

"Okay, okay I'm sorry please do continue." Quinn said with a smile.

"Okay well, actually can I ask you something?"

"Yea what is it?"

"Do you- um you still care about me, right?" Quinn instantly nodded.

"Of course I still care about you Rachel! Nothing you could say, or do will ever stop me from caring. You'll always be someone special to me Rachel." All Rachel could do was smile, because having Quinn say that did more than just provide her with comfort. It gave her the courage to continue her explanation without fear.

"Okay the only reason I ask that is because when you walked out of the hospital- I thought I had already lost you- to her." Rachel said as she focused her eyes on the ground.

"What, Rachel what do you mean _lost me to her_?"

"You know what I mean Quinn, Sugar. She's always around therefore the fear of losing you remains."

"Rachel we've been through this so many times, and I've assured you that you have nothing to worry about!"

"Yes, you say that but that's because you don't see what I see, and whether you like to acknowledge that, or not she was the reason behind our argument- that night." Rachel almost whispered that last part out, but Quinn heard it loud and clear.

"Rachel now is not the time to talk about that?"

"Then when is the right time Quinn? Please tell me because so far six months have gone by, and the last time we attempted to talk about this it ended with me in the hospital." Quinn pulled away from Rachel and turned to give her her back.

"So you're blaming all of this on me?" Quinn asked with a hint of anger.

"No! Of course not Quinn!"

"Really, because that's not what it sounded like to me! So when I asked you in the hospital why you did what you did you lied to me? You said you couldn't remember, but you did didn't you? You did all of this on purpose! Jesus Rachel I didn't think you would take it this far!"

"What? No Quinn, I don't know what you're talking about?" Rachel asked with complete confusion. What had she done on purpose?

"This! All of this!" Quinn yelled as she threw her hands in the air.

"I've always known you liked to do things for attention, but this- this is too much Rachel! I didn't think you would be capable of such a thing just to keep me around! Don't you know how scared I was when I saw you in Santana's arms? I thought you were dead Rachel! You hear me! I thought you were gone she said letting out a loud sob, as Rachel tried reaching for her once more but this time Quinn pulled away.

"Don't touch me Rachel! Don't even come near me!"

"Quinn please don't do this!" Rachel pleaded. How did things get out of hand so quickly?

"Please let me explain this to you!"

"Explain what Rachel, the fact that you're willing to risk your own life just to guarantee that I stick around?"

"No Quinn! You have this all wrong! Will you please calm down and let me explain this to you?" Quinn just shook her head.

"No Rachel I've honestly heard enough for tonight I don't think I can handle any more of it, at least not without saying anything that I'll later regret, because unlike you, I like to think about my actions before I do them." She spat out and Rachel could no longer contain her tears, and sorrow so she let it all out.

"You're wrong Quinn! You have this all wrong! I didn't consume all that liquor in hopes that you would come back! I consumed it all, in hopes that I would forget! I wanted to forget everything Quinn! I wanted to get away and no longer be around; I just wanted to erase myself from everything permanently!"

"What are you saying?" Quinn asked a little more calmly, but filled with concern.

"Right before you left, you said we were done, you said you would have your lawyer get a hold of me once the divorce papers were ready, and it killed me to hear that. It killed me because I only had myself to blame! I let my jealousy consume me, as I did that night at our high school reunion. The night that you left me behind to go aid _Sugar_. When you left I took a bottle of Tequila and went to our room, but when that no longer brought me comfort I called Finn. He said it was okay to go up to his room, so I went up stairs searching for comfort, for someone to understand what I was feeling. He took me into his arms, and"

"Enough!" Quinn yelled with tears in her eyes.

"I don't need the detail, about what you and that scum bag did that night!"

"That's just it Quinn! I don't have the detail to provide you with, because that's all I can remember. When I made it to his room the Tequila had already taken me to a point of no return. The last thing I remember is him opening the door to his room, and taking me into his arms. The only evidence that remained the next day was our nude bodies under the cover. If it wasn't for that I would have never known." Quinn punched the counter with anger.

"That piece of shit got right what he deserved! He's lucky Puck was there to stop me from killing him, because I swear I would have!" Just then Ishmael made his way out. He wanted to intervene when he heard the yelling increase but he convinced himself that it was normal for them to react that way, until he heard a loud bang. That was when he knew he had to step in.

"What is going on out here?" He demanded, but got no answer. Instead he witnessed Rachel go up to Quinn and pull her into a hug.

"Quinn- please tell me you didn't attempt to fight him! He could have really hurt you, and then what would have I done? Is that why you have a cast on your right hand?" Rachel asked as she gently rubbed Quinn's throbbing left hand.

"Rach, how did we get here?" Quinn asked as she let out a loud sob.

"I'm so scared to lose you! I don't ever want to be without you, but I'm afraid that we screwed things up too badly to ever properly fix them." Rachel just wrapped her in her arms and cooed soothing sounds until she felt the trembling stop.

"Quinn it's okay to feel this way, I'm scared too, but I'm more scared of not having you by my side. I've already experienced that once before and it wasn't pretty, to say the least." She said as Quinn gave her an apologetic smile.

"I'm so sorry Rachel! I'm soooo, so sorry! Please tell you'll never try hurting yourself again!" Quinn pleaded as she took her left hand to cup Rachel's face.

"Nothing is worth you hurting yourself Rach okay! Promise me you won't even consider that again!" Rachel nodded.

"Quinn I didn't intentionally hurt myself, I just wanted to forget! I wanted to black out like I had that night, because I didn't want to feel anything anymore! I didn't want to continue missing you, and blaming myself for being so stupid! I should have never called Finn! I should have fallen asleep, or looked for Kurt, Blaine, or even Puck for that matter, but instead I searched for Finn, and I'll never forgive myself for that!"

"Rachel- It's okay- we both did something stupid that night. You're not the only one to blame, because I knew you had a couple of drinks in you and I still left."

"Yes, but you didn't sleep with her, you came back to sleep in our room, and I- I wasn't there!" Rachel said as the memory crossed her mind and she broke down and cried.

"Baby!" Quinn cooed, and it melted Rachel's heart. She couldn't remember the last time that Quinn had called her that, but God it felt so good. Quinn called her_ her_ baby, she was Quinn's baby.

"We have a lot to work on, and I mean a lot to work on, but I think we're going to be okay. If we both want this, I know we're capable of getting there. It won't be easy, but I know that nothing that's worth anything in life comes easy." Quinn said as she placed a warm kiss on the top of Rachel's head.

"What are you saying?" Rachel asked trying to hide her excitement.

"What I'm saying is that- if you want to, well if you're ready, maybe we can start working on fixing ourselves up?" Quinn said as she gave Rachel a smile.

"Really?" Rachel asked. She didn't want to get her hopes up for nothing, so once Quinn gave her a nod she claimed that that was all the reassurance she needed before she pulled Quinn into a kiss. It's wasn't very long, it was actually more like a peck, but it felt so good to finally do that without having to worry about Quinn taking it back.

"Oh my God somebody pinch me! I have to be dreaming, and if I am no one better wake me up!" She said with the biggest smile she had displayed in months. Quinn couldn't help but sport a smile of her own, and for once in a very long time it felt good. She felt safe, and like she was home.

"Okay, so when do we get to move your stuff back in?" Rachel tried to ask casually.

"Rach- I um"

"I'm kidding silly! I know that we're nowhere near there yet, but I had to try!" she said with a giggle as Ishmael approached the both of them.

"I must say I'm with Rachel on this one. Someone needs to pinch me, because I too feel that I am dreaming. My two favorite girls in the whole world are actually working things out. I couldn't be happier, unless of course grandchildren were involved." He said with a wink as both of the girls glared at him nervously.

"I'm kidding, but like Rachel I had to try as well." He said as he wrapped his arms around the both of them.

"That was hilarious daddy!" Rachel said as she gently elbowed him.

"Well can you blame me? Your dad and I aren't getting any younger and we want grandchildren to spoil!"

"Grandchildren, as in plural?" Quinn asked as she arched an eyebrow.

"Yes of course as in _plural_. You can't tease us with just one!"

"But you guys only had Rachel!" Quinn stated.

"That is true, but it was difficult and expensive to get segregate mothers then, plus with two women it should be a lot easier to produce more children." He said casually, as both Rachel and Quinn looked at their flat stomachs.

"Okay daddy, as adorable as it would be to have little Quinns running around, it is far too soon to be thinking about that. First we need to work on our relationship, and built our trust. Once that happens, and Quinn is ready to move back in then we can start the baby talk, but until then it's off limits, right sweetie?" Rachel asked but Quinn just gave her the dear in the head lights look. She kind of zoned out after Rachel said "little Quinns". That meant that Rachel had previously put some thought to it, and never cared to bring it up. Sure she wanted children, but after Beth she figured that Rachel would be the one carrying them. She didn't know if she could physically go through that again without it reminding her of Beth.

"Quinn, are you okay? Did I say something wrong?" Rachel asked worriedly.

"What was that?" Quinn asked trying to focus on the conversation.

"Nothing I was just wondering if you were okay? You kind of zoned out on us. Where did you go?"

"Beth" was all Quinn said, and Rachel mentally reprimanded herself for being so careless.

"I'm sorry honey, I honestly didn't think before I spoke. The truth is we shouldn't even be thinking about babies right now." Rachel said as she glared at her father.

"No it's okay Rach, I do- want kids I just- always in that back of my head thought of you caring them."

"Really?" Rachel asked with a smile she couldn't contain, which then caused both Ishmael and Quinn to smile.

"Yes, I mean maybe after you carry our first one, I can carry the next one, but as you said, it really is way too early to be talking babies. We need to work on us before anything else."

"Oh my God!" Rachel shouted.

"Am I allowed to be this happy? To be honest it kind of scares me?"

"Why baby?" Quinn asked, and all Rachel could focus on was _baby_. That word how she ever lived without she didn't know she was just happy to be considered Quinn's baby once more. She just hoped it would remain that way forever.

"I love it when you call me baby." Rachel said causing Quinn to blush.

"Rach…"

"What?"

"Dad is right in the room!" Rachel smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Oh please daddy, and dad both heard worse things while we were in high school!"

"Rachel!" Quinn shouted.

"Quinnie Rachel is right, but enough of this chatting I'm starving, and you both need to eat before you take your medication so let's get to it." He said as he made his way to the stove where he came across what was supposed to be a _soup_.

"Okay I may be starving, but I am not eating that!"

"Hey to be fair I had a lot of distractions." Quinn pouted, and Rachel couldn't help but smile.

"I know Quinnie, but still I'm not eating that, and I honestly think that it will upset Rachel's stomach if she has any of it."

"I know" Quinn said with a sigh.

"Let me get a hold of Santana and I'll tell her to bring some Thai before she gets here." Quinn said as she looked through her purse for her phone. When she picked up her phone she was met with a text from sugar, and instantly felt a hint of guilt, should she tell Rachel about their encounter in Sugar's car, and the fact that Sugar saw her naked? She couldn't that would only make Rachel more insecure, and she didn't need that at the moment, plus Rachel had nothing to worry about she and Sugar were just friends.

_*Hey hon, I just wanted to wish you a good night, and to tell you that I can't wait for you to be back at work! Now I actually have something to look forward to each day ; )*_

When Rachel witnessed Quinn stare at her phone without dialing she approached her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing why?" Quinn asked a bit nervously.

"Well you said you were going to call San, but instead you just stood there looking at your phone. Are you feeling okay?"

"Oh yea it was just a message from work, I actually start tomorrow." She said with a smile, but something about it filled Rachel's mind with suspension. She didn't push it, because they just started working on things and she didn't want to ruin it, so instead she just nodded and leaned in to kiss Quinn. This time it was more than just a peck. There still wasn't any tongue, but her lips lingered on Quinn until she fully savored them, and then slowly pulled away with a smile.

When Santana finally made her way to their apartment she felt like something was up, but no one told her anything. She wasn't sure what it was, but she knew something happened while she was at work and no one had bothered to inform her. After they had all finished eating Ishmael got up to make some tea. He was going to make coffee, but after Rachel informed him about her little incident he decided tea would do just fine.

"Okay you to what gives?" Santana asked as she crossed her arms.

"What do you mean Santana?" Rachel asked casually.

"Something happened while I was gone, and no one has bothered to inform me."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Once again Rachel spoke while Quinn nervously sipped on her water.

"Enough from you Berry, Q just tell me what's up already!" Santana demanded throwing Quinn off guard.

"What me?"

"No your mother." Santana threw in.

"Santana, that was uncalled for!" Rachel protested.

"Well you both are keeping something from me and I don't like it!" Santana said with a pout.

"It doesn't feel really good now does it?" Rachel asked while Santana just shook her head.

"Berry I told you that if you wanted to know about Quinn's hand you had to ask her because it wasn't my place. I didn't do it with the intention to make you feel left out!" Santana shouted.

"I know San I was just kidding, Quinn and I actually spoke about that a little earlier." Rachel said with a smile as she reached for Quinn's hand and almost instantly Santana's mouth fell open.

"Okay what is going on? Are you- did you? Dios mio! Is this good news?" She asked as she looked at a grinning Ishmael.

"Okay I needz the details afore I endz you both for the suspense!" Both Quinn and Rachel couldn't contain their laughter, but once they did they filled her in, and Santana couldn't help but smile and shed some tears of her own. She was finally seeing her friends make up, and it made her miss Brittany even more. While she was at work she kept her email account open just in case Brittany tried to reach her but she never received anything. She even checked her junk mail just to make sure, but that was empty as well. She was beginning to think that Brittany never even bothered to open her email, and the truth was she couldn't help but blame herself. She pulled out her phone once more just in case she had any new notification, but there wasn't all she came across with was the time.

"Well guys as much as I enjoy your company, I have to say my good bye because I have an early meeting tomorrow, and it's getting kind of late." She said as Quinn checked her phone for the time as well.

"Woa, same goes for me it's almost going to be eleven, and I can't be late on my first day back to work because I over slept." Quinn said as Rachel gave her a pout.

"No, are you seriously leaving?" Rachel asked with a pout.

"Rach don't give me that look! You know it's hard for me to say no when you look at me that way."

"That's the point Quinn!" Rachel said she gave her a smile.

"Okay it hasn't been a full day and you guys are already killing me with all the sweetness." Santana joked as she got up to put on her coat.

"Well you better get used to it Santana because there is a lot more of that where this came from." She said she leaned in to place a chaste kiss on Quinn's lips, and Santana faked a gag.

"Stop acting like this isn't what you wanted San, you've been bugging me for months now!" Quinn said as she got out of her seat.

"I know in all honesty I am really happy for you guys! Words can't express how happy I am." She said as she leaned into to hug them both.

"Awww Santana you really do love us!" Rachel said.

"Berry you're ruining it!"

"I'm sorry I couldn't help myself."

"Okay guys well I'll see you tomorrow after work then." Santana said as she made her way towards the door.

"Wait San let's walk out together." Quinn said as she leaned into hug Ishmael goodbye.

"Make sure Rachel takes her medicine before she goes to bed, and I put the list of foods she needs to stay away from on the fridge. I'll be here as soon as I get out of work which should be in the afternoon. I don't plan on staying to long because it's my first day. I'll just have them forward me anything important at home."

"Quinnie you have nothing to worry about I'll take care of our little star, just make sure to take care of yourself. No more taking out your anger with your fists." He said with a wink and Quinn just nodded and pulled him in for a hug once more.

"Thank you very much for everything- dad" she said as she pulled away, and a happy tear rolled down Ishmael's face. Quinn was no longer pulling away, and he couldn't be happier.

"Well Short stuff I have to get going." Quinn said as she turned to Rachel, and once again she gave her the pout.

"I don't want you to leave me Quinn."

"It will only be for the night, I will be back tomorrow after work." Quinn said with a smile.

"You promise?" Rachel asked thinking back to when she asked Quinn to promise her that they would begin to hang out once she landed a spot on the cheerios, and for some reason it gave her an uneasy feeling because the last time she asked her to promise something things didn't turn out too well.

"I promise you baby" Quinn said as she pulled her into a hug and sealed the promise with a peck.

"I love you Quinn!"

"I love you too." Quinn said as she closed the door behind her.

* * *

><p><strong>Well that was update number 9, I was going to wait until Saturday to upload this, but since I was sick and didn't go to school, I started working on it and decided to update a little sooner. Hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know what you think!<strong>

**-A girl I once knew**

** P.S.**

**Have you guys checked out Lea's Candies photo shoot? So Hot!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you so much for the in depth reviews, you guys really have no idea how much it means to me that you guys take the time to not only read what I produce, but to also take your time and fully express your thoughts regarding my storyline. I greatly appreciate it! You really make me want to continue writing, and I hope you guys continue reading. Also, please note that I do take everything you guys say into consideration, and I promise that I will try to include what you guys suggest, and want to see somewhere down the line, so please keep sharing what you think.**

**Special thanks to:**

Fate-187

HIsland429

cassie

livbuk1900

* * *

><p>Quinn was sitting at her desk in her office when she heard a light knock at her door.<p>

"Come in." She said as Sugar carefully made her way in with two coffees.

"I brought you some coffee, I figured it would come in handy since it is your first day back, and you insisted on getting here extra early." She said with a smile as she handed Quinn the coffee.

"Hey thanks Shug, I actually needed a pick me up. I hardly got any sleep last night, and I didn't realize how many college applications I would have to look over just today alone."

"No problem hon, so how were things with Rachel last night? I text you but you never got back at me. I just assumed you were busy."

"Oh yes I'm sorry about that. I was at Rachel's place late last night and didn't really go through my phone once I got home, but things are actually good right now. We had a much needed conversation, and although we still have a lot to work on, things are finally starting to look up." Quinn said with a big smile as she recalled the kisses she and Rachel shared the night before.

"That's- um good, but I thought you were going to take things slow?"

"Yea, that's still the plan. I mean I'm not moving in with her any time soon, we just agreed to work on our issues. We ended up where we are because of the lack of communication between us, so we're going to work on that before anything else."

"So does this mean you guys are together?" Sugar asked casually as she scrunched up her eyebrows.

"Well, I guess we never really weren't _together_, I mean we were separated, but neither of us dated anyone else during that time frame. So yes I guess we are. Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering, especially because you aren't wearing your wedding ring, and well as your friend I want to make sure that you don't rush into something you're not ready for. I don't want to see you get hurt again Quinn. You deserve to be with someone who treats you well, and, makes you happy, not someone who will betray you the moment you turn around." Sugar said as she walked over to Quinn and placed her hand on Quinn's shoulder.

"I appreciate you looking out for me Shug, I really do, but as I said before I have no intention on rushing things with her. It's true that I'm not wearing my wedding band, but that's because I don't feel right wearing it knowing that things between us aren't how they're supposed to be. Once things between us actually get fixed I'll go back to wearing it." She said with a smile.

"Okay, I guess that makes sense, and I have to be honest it kind of makes me sad."

"What? Why?" Quinn asked arching up an eyebrow.

"Well, because Rachel doesn't like me, and I'm sure she's going to ask you to stop seeing me." Sugar said as she walked towards the door, but Quinn got up and reached for her hand.

"Shug, that's not true. What makes you say that?"

"Oh come on Quinn you have to be blind not to see the looks that she gives me, and I know she blames me for that night, so I really don't stand a chance."

"Sugar, don't say that. No one blames you for that night. What happened that night was due to a miscommunication between Rachel and me, and well yes Rachel does have trust issues, but so do I. That just means that she and I have to work really hard on that. You've been a great friend to me during this difficult time, and it's not going to change because Rachel and I are working things out."

"Quinn, I just don't want to cause more problems for you and Rachel. I really care about you, and I wouldn't feel right knowing that because of me you and Rachel were having more trouble."

"Well you're not! Okay so get those silly thoughts out of your head. I'm going to talk to Rachel about you, and we'll clear all of this up before you know it." Quinn said with a smile as she gave Sugar's hand a squeeze.

"I don't know Quinn…"

"Hey, don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, but _she_ doesn't trust me."

"I know, but that's only because she thinks that you're somehow interested in me." Quinn said with a laugh, but Sugar remained silent.

"Sugar, did I say something wrong?" Sugar just shook her head.

"No- I just. It doesn't matter."

"No what is it?" Quinn asked giving Sugar's hand a gentle squeeze.

"What if she's right?"

"What do you mean, _what if she's right_?" Quinn asked as she tensed up.

"Well Quinn, It's kind of hard not to fall for you. You're a gorgeous human being inside, and out. You put others before you, and you've been nothing but a great friend to me, and I don't know how, or when it really happened, but I've developed feelings for you."

"Shug- I…" That was all she could say before Sugar pushed her up against her desk and pulled her into a kiss.

"Sugar!" Quinn shouted as she pulled away.

"I'm sorry Quinn, please I'm sorry I didn't mean to I just got caught up in the moment. I'm so sorry!" Quinn just shook her head, as she threw her hands in the air.

"I um- I think it's best if you step out. I have a lot of work to do before I can go see my wife." She said as she walked towards the door and held it open for Sugar.

"Quinn, please don't hate me! I know I shouldn't have done that, but I've been wanting to do that for such a long time, and my feelings got the best of me. I'm sorry!"

"I don't hate you shug, trust me, I just think it's best that we keep a distance between us for a couple of days, just so we can both clear our heads." Sugar just kept her head down, as she walked out.

"I'm really sorry Quinn you have to believe me!" She pleaded once more.

"I do shug, I know you mean well- we just need some time apart. I promise it won't be that long, thanks for the coffee." Quinn said as she leaned in to place a kiss on the top of Sugar's head and closed the door behind her.

After filing a couple applications and making some phone calls Quinn clocked out. She knew that it wasn't a good idea to leave work before noon, especially since it was her first day back, but after Sugar did what she did it was hard for Quinn to focus. She needed to get some air and clear her head. She gave Santana a call and they agreed to meet up for lunch at deli right across from the law firm Santana worked at.

"So how's your first day on the job going?" Santana asked as the two made their way to their seats.

"Good." Quinn said followed by a long sigh.

"Really? because that doesn't sound too good to me."

"It's just a bit overwhelming, I have to review a stack of applications before their dead lines and they're all very near."

"Yea, but something tells me that that's not all that is bugging you."

"I hate you!" Quinn shouted as she made a pout.

"Yea well I love you too, now are you ready to tell me what's on your mind, or are we going to keep playing this guessing game." Quinn let out a sigh before she continued.

"I just- it's all so weird, and- confusing. I don't even know how to process it in my head, much less say it aloud."

"Q, you're kind of freaking me out right now, you're not regretting what happened between you and Rach are you?"

"No, not at all I couldn't be happier about that decision." She said with a smile, which only confused Santana more than she already was.

"Well then what is it?"

"It's um I don't know how to say it, but Sugar admitted something to me and I can't make any sense of it."

"Okay well what did she admit to you? You're not asking me to be her attorney are you; because whatever she did I'm sure Berry will have my ass for helping her out."

"You're not kidding." Quinn said under her breath as she took a sip from her tea.

"Well?" Santana asked crossing her arms.

"She might have admitted to having feelings for me, and then- she kissed me." Once again she said the last part under her breath, but Santana still caught it.

"Wait, hold up! What was that?"

"I said-"  
>"I know what you said, I'm just trying to let it sink in. Oh my God Rachel was right all along, and we both insisted that she wasn't but obviously she saw through her bullshit, something that you and I both couldn't do. Please tell me you put her in her place and sent her on her way."<p>

"San it's not like that."

"What do you mean _it's not like that_? The bitch made a move on you how is it _not_ like what it seems?" Santana asked getting frustrated with the lack of reaction she received from Quinn.

"Would you not call her that! She didn't do it intentionally okay? She admitted to how she felt about me, and it all got to her, before she knew it she kissed me, but I pushed her right off and she apologized." Santana mockingly gave Quinn a smirk right as she finished talking.

"Oh please Quinn, tell me you didn't believe her!"

"What is there not to believe? You didn't see the look on her face she looked really torn about it, and she apologized to me a series of times!" Quinn shouted feeling defensive.

"Yea, torn up because you didn't reciprocate the kiss! What do you plan on telling Rachel?"

"I'm not!" Was all Quinn said.

"What do you mean you're not?" Santana asked getting angrier by the moment.

"Nothing happened; therefore there is no need to upset her about it. I told Sugar that it would be best if we didn't see each other for awhile, and she respected my decision so there is no point in bringing it up to Rachel when all it will do is upset her. I'm tired of arguing with her, I just want to fix us okay?"

"Are you serious right now? That is exactly why you have to tell her! You guys are just starting to work things out. You can't try and fix things while you're keeping something like this from her. She has every right to know!" Quinn just stood quiet as she processed everything that Santana had just said. She definitely had a point, but she knew that if she mentioned it to Rachel they would get into a big argument, and she didn't want to do that anymore. She figured that since she stopped Sugar from doing anything it would be okay to keep it to herself, but now she didn't know, and it worried her because just when she thought that things were getting better, things got worse.

"Quinn what are you afraid of?" Santana asked when it was evident that Quinn wasn't going to speak.

"Everything, I just don't want to fight anymore San. I'm tired, I want to go to the way things were, and after last night I was beginning to think that it was very possible, and now- now I'm not so sure." Santana got out of her seat and pulled Quinn into a comforting hug.

"Hey, everything is going to be alright, just don't overwhelm yourself. I assure you that everything is going to be alright, it's just important that you're honest with her. I mean how would you feel if someone tried kissing her, but she kept it from you?"

"Pissed! I would want to know who the person was so that I could do to them what I did to Finn!" Quinn shouted as the idea brushed her head.

"You see that's why you have to tell Rach."

"Ugh San, that's just it, I know how she's going to react, and I don't want her to take it out on Sugar. She didn't mean anything by it, and I really don't want either of them to be confrontational with each other. I don't want Rach to feel like she has to keep her guard up, and I don't want Sugar to feel that she's to blame for any more of mine and Rachel's problems. She doesn't deserve that. It was just a mistake."

"Why do you insist on defending her?" Santana asked as she made her way back to her seat.

"I'm not defending her; I'm just stating the facts. She made a mistake and regretted it right of the bat, so I don't want to make this into a big deal."

"Wait; please don't tell me you plan on keeping a friendship with her?" Quinn just remained quiet as Santana stared at her waiting for an answer.

"Q!"

"What, Santana! She's my friend, and I can't turn my back on her just because she admitted to having feelings for me. It's not like anything is going to happen between us."

"What the hell have you been smoking Q? You aren't making any sense!"

"You know what Santana, I asked you to meet me for lunch because I thought you would be understanding and help me clear my head, but all you've done is criticize me and I'm tired of it! I haven't done anything wrong, and you can't make me feel like I did, just because I value my friendship with Sugar." Quinn said as she took some money from her purse and got out of her seat.

"Where are you going?" Santana asked

"What do you care?" She replied back as she walked away.

"Q! Get your ass back here!" Santana shouted, but it was too late. Quinn was already out the door.

When Quinn got into her car she turned on the radio, and just drove. She didn't know where she was going, but she wanted to clear her head, because after speaking to Santana she felt more confused, and troubled than before she had even met up with her. She drove around for couple of hours, ignoring every vibration that came from her phone; she figured it was Santana trying to talk to her so she completely blew them off, until she had cooled down and pulled over to the curb. She was right most of her text messages were from Santana, a couple were from work, but one of them, the only one that mattered was from Rachel, and she couldn't help the smile that grew on her face the moment that she opened it.

*_Hey baby, I just wanted to wish a great first day back to work! I hope all goes well, and I can't wait for you to come by and keep me company. Daddy keeps insisting that I stay in bed while he runs my errands for me, so I'm really bored! Please hurry and get here! Xoxo YOUR WIFE*_

Quinn thought about responding back, but instead she decided to head right over to Rachel's place and surprise her with an early arrival.

"Daddy you don't have to knock every time you come into my room." Rachel said as she heard a faint knock on her bedroom door, but was ecstatic when she saw that it was Quinn.

"Quinn!" She practically jumped out of bed, but Quinn beat her to it.

"Hey there missy, I'm only allowed to visit you if I promise to make sure that you stay in bed, dad made me promise." Quinn said as she leaned in to place a kiss on Rachel's forehead, causing the brunette to pout.

"What's wrong Rach?"

"You kissed my forehead!" Was all she said as she crossed her arms and scrunched in her eyebrows.

"Yes, I didn't know that I wasn't allowed to."

"Well, you're certainly allowed to, I would just prefer if you kissed me somewhere else."

"Is that so, and where might that be?" Quinn said and started giggling the moment that Rachel pointed to her lips, Rachel always knew what to do to make her smile, and it felt great. She gently crawled her way to Rachel's side of the bed. She brushed a few strands of hair from Rachel's face and stared right into her dark brown sparkling eyes. It finally felt like she could breathe. It was refreshing and exciting all at once, but at the same time it scared her, because she learned early on that loving someone the way she loved Rachel could be a very dangerous thing. She ignored the fear, and with an intake of air guided Rachel's lips to hers. She didn't want to appear eager, and certainly didn't want to rush things between them, but she couldn't help the intensity that drew from them being so close to each other, in a bed that was once theirs. When she noticed that Rachel was kissing her back with just as much desire, and need she let her tongue do the talking, until they both broke apart to get air.

"Now that's more like it!" Rachel said with a smirk across her face.

"It should be illegal for you to greet me any other way." Once again Quinn couldn't help, but giggle.

"God, how I love your laugh" Rachel said and Quinn couldn't help but smile.

"Are you trying to get me to kiss you again?"

"I wouldn't negate that proposal, but in all honesty I really do love your laugh, it makes me feel warm inside, and everything seems better."

"Rachel if you keep speaking like that I can't be held responsible for my actions."

"And what might those actions be?" Rachel gave Quinn a wink after she asked the question.

"Oh no! We're not going there."

"What, why not?" Rachel asked as she stuck out her bottom lip.

"For various reasons, but reason number one, is that your doctor said you needed to rest, so that is all you will be doing, until it's okay for you to go back to work."

"Quinn!" Rachel whined.

"That's not going to work this time Rach I'm sorry."

"But baby I've missed you soooooooo much, and I just want you near me all the time."

"I missed you too baby, trust me when I say that, but it's too soon to be considering that. We have to take things slow, and you really do need to rest." Quinn said with a smile and then pecked Rachel on the lips. It may not have been as heated as the kiss they had engaged in a few minutes ago, but it still provided Rachel with the same feelings and emotions. She was just happy to have her wife beside her, and in all honesty couldn't wait for them to keep moving forward, so that they could do more than just _rest_.

"You're right, I apologize about my eagerness, it's just that I can't help myself when I'm near you, especially when everything is going great with us. I couldn't be happier!"

"Trust me; you don't have to explain because I know exactly what you mean." Quinn said with a wink, and they both broke into a soothing laughter.

"Baby?" Rachel asked. She loved when Quinn called her that, but she also enjoyed calling Quinn that, because it made her feel like she was really belonged to her, and there was no greater feeling than that.

"mhhm" Quinn smiled.

"Not that I'm not in a complete state of bliss because of your visit, but why are you here so early? I thought that you would be getting here later in the afternoon, again not that I'm complaining. I just figured that since it was your first day back you might get here a little later?"

Quinn was caught off guard by Rachel's question, her drive didn't really help clear her mind it just calmed her down, but she still didn't know if she wanted to let Rachel know about what had happened with Sugar.

"Oh well- um I got done a lot quicker than expected, and I wanted to see you so I had all my calls and emails forwarded to my phone so that it wasn't an issue." She felt a bit guilty for completely disregarding the issue with Sugar, but she still felt like it wasn't the time to discuss it. Rachel gave Quinn a smile but something about the way Quinn was fidgeting with a throw pillow as she spoke told her that something wasn't right.

"What's wrong honey?" Quinn asked when she noticed Rachel's demeanor change.

"Nothing, things are going very well right now and I don't want to say anything that could change that."

"Nothing is going to change us baby; you have nothing to worry about." Quinn tried to reassure her with a smile.

"You promise?"

"Of course I promise sweet heart, so tell me what is on your mind."

"Would it be okay for me to say that I don't really believe that you left early from work because you had completed everything ahead of time? I mean you hadn't attended work in about a month so it's hard to believe that you managed so well on your first day back." Rachel said as she turned to completely face Quinn.

"Well I – um I let them know about you, and they agreed it was okay for me to come home as long as I worked from home. So it's really not a big deal Rach."

"Okay" Rachel said as she leaned into Quinn, and Quinn wrapped her arms around her.

"We're going to be okay Rach, you have nothing to worry about other than getting better. Have you had lunch yet?"

"No I had a late breakfast so I'm really not that hungry."

"Are you sure because I brought some vegetable soup, it's warming up in the kitchen. Don't worry I bought it!" She said making Rachel laugh.

"Well, since you went out of your way to please my upset stomach I suppose I can have a bowl"

"Great! I'll be right back." Quinn said with a smile as she got off the bed, and walked out the door. Just then Rachel's phone went off. It was Santana.

"Hay San, what's up?"

"Hi Rach, how are ya feeling?"

"Well I can't complain since I'm being catered to, although I wouldn't mind getting out of this bed. What about you? Are you still stopping by after work?"

"Yea that's the plan, listen I was wondering if you've heard from Q? I met up with her for lunch and we kind of got into an argument, so she left and I haven't been able to get a hold of her. I just want to make sure she's okay."

"You guys got into an argument? What happened?" Rachel asked concerned.

"Just some work related stuff that we didn't really agree on. Nothing to worry about, have you heard from her?"

"Yes, actually she's in the kitchen warming me up some soup, but that explains why she seemed so hesitant when I asked her about work. Did Andrew give her a hard time for taking so many days off?

"No, no it wasn't anything like that we just didn't agree on something, but I'll talk to her later to make sure we clear things up. Don't worry about it Rach everything is fine okay? I love ya, and I'll see you as soon as I'm off work."Rachel let out a long sigh. She didn't believe Santana when she said she had nothing to worry about. Didn't people understand that telling someone _not to worry_ when they don't know what's going on makes them worry even more?"

"Rach are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here, and okay that's fine San I'll see you when you get here, and I love you too." With that they ended their call and it was perfect timing because Quinn was just making her way back into the room.

"Here we are." Quinn said as she handed Rachel the bowl of soup.

"Be careful it's really hot."

"Thanks, hey um- why didn't you tell me that you had lunch with Santana?"

"How did you know I had lunch with San?"

"She called asking if I had heard from you, but Quinn that's beside the point, why didn't you tell me? She said you guys got into an argument and she hadn't been able to get a hold of you. Quinn what happened, and please be honest with me." Rachel pleaded.

"Rachel it's nothing, I didn't tell you because I forgot."

"You're lying." Rachel said bitterly as she looked towards Quinn who avoided eye contact.

"Quinn, I thought we were working on our relationship? If things are going to work out between us we have to be completely honest with one another. So please tell me what happened at work, which caused you and Santana to argue." Rachel demanded.

"It's nothing to worry about Rachel."

"Well good, if indeed there is nothing for me to worry about then you should have no issue telling me." She said as she placed her soup on the night stand and crossed her arms.

"Rachel" Quinn pleaded; she didn't want to talk about Sugar.

"Quinn, I'm serious!"

"Sugar kissed me" Was all she said, and she couldn't believe it the moment the words left her mouth.

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><p><strong>That was update number 10, hope you guys enjoyed it! BTW what about that Faberry filled episode on Glee last Tuesday? I swear I couldn't contain my emotions, because Quinn said "You can't!" It made me happy, because it was similar to what I had written in "When You're Ready Faberry" If you haven't read it and are interested please do. Thanks once again – A girl I once knew<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys here is update number 11, hope you guys enjoy it. Once again thanks for all the feedback, as always it makes my day.**

**BTW: **_**emapth**_** is someone who has the ability to feel whatever other people are feeling at first hand. It's kind of a **_**Charmed**_** reference. If you're familiar with the show you know what I mean. I hope I don't confuse any of you guys.**

**Special thanks:**

1alittlelambfan

Cassie

val-cb

HIsland429

Chatterbox

SheandI

livbuk1900

Fate-187

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><p>Rachel just sat there as she processed Quinn's confession, and clenched the covers of her bed. She couldn't believe what she had just heard, she was aware of Sugar's fascination with Quinn, but she didn't want to even consider the idea of her wife's lips brushing against anyone else's. Quinn was hers, they both vowed to be each other's the day of their wedding, and she really hoped that they could keep that promise even after everything that had gotten in their way. It was a rare sight when Rachel was silent, especially when it came to standing up to anyone who showed interested in anything that belonged to her, more importantly her wife, but in all honesty she didn't know what to say.<p>

She felt all sorts of emotions, and couldn't make out which one she should project. If she had to imagine what it was like to be an empath, she would imagine it to be something like that. She was angry, and wasn't sure if it was due to Sugar's actions, or if it had to do with the fact that her wife attempted to keep it from her in spite of the fact that they were in the middle of working on their relationship. She was also afraid, afraid that during their time apart Sugar planted a seed inside Quinn's heart, which now continued to grow. Why had Quinn waited this long to tell her what was going on, could it be possible that she had feelings for Sugar? God how she hoped that wasn't the case. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to see Quinn living her life with someone else. That idea was not possible. She was brought out of her thoughts when she felt Quinn's hand cup the side of her face, but immediately she pulled away.

"Rach, please I'm sorry! Don't-"

"Don't what Quinn? Why didn't you tell me about Sugar the moment you got here? Why did you have to wait for me to question you about it, before you could even mention it? Do you- when did it happen?" Quinn looked at ground as Rachel finished, why hadn't she just listened to Santana?

"Quinn!" Rachel demanded when her wife remained quiet, and avoided eye contact.

"Rach- I just I don't know okay I didn't think it was a big deal." Rachel scuffed and got out of bed.

"Not a big deal? Are you being serious right now? How is that not a big deal?" She said she stood directly in front of Quinn.

"I pushed her away before anything actually happened."

"Well, what did happen?" Rachel asked as she crossed her arms.

"And I want the truth Quinn! I deserve the truth." Quinn just looked up at her and nodded.

"I was in my office earlier than usual, because I planned to leave earlier as well. I was in the middle of reviewing a student's application to Colombia, when I heard a knock at my door. It was Sugar-" Rachel flinched at the mention of Sugar, and it didn't go unnoticed by Quinn but she still continued what she was saying.

"She brought me some coffee, and we started talking about me and you, and how we had decided to work on us, and she basically told me that she feared our friendship would be over. I tried to reassure her that even if you and I got back together she and I could still remain friends." Rachel remained silent, but the look that she was giving Quinn as she spoke was loud and clear. She didn't approve of anything that Quinn had said so far, and she hadn't even gotten to the kiss part.

"What else?" Rachel asked when Quinn stopped talking.

"Rachel, is this really necessary? Isn't it enough that I stopped her from doing anything else?" Rachel just shook her head.

"No it's not enough! I want to know what gave that stupid bitch the idea that it was okay for her to place her filthy mouth around MY wife's lips." Rachel was fuming, and it didn't even matter if Quinn continued, or not because she had only one thing on her mind, and it ended with her teaching Sugar a lesson.

"Rach-"

"Don't _Rach_ me Quinn. Why couldn't you just tell me everything from the beginning when I asked you about work? Why did you have to wait until Santana called me to let me know? Does it- is it because you- like her?" Rachel asked fearing the possibility of Quinn saying yes, but Quinn shook her head no, and approached her."

"I'm sorry Rach, it was stupid of me not to tell you right away, but you have to believe me when I say that I don't have feelings for her, at least not in an intimate way. If I didn't tell you about it sooner it was because I didn't want to upset you. Things between us were just beginning to look up, and I didn't want this little incident to bring us back down." Quinn tried to wrap her arms around Rachel as she finished speaking, but Rachel backed away.

"It's not a _little_ incident Quinn; do you not realize that I was right all along? You always assured me that I had nothing to worry about when all along I was right! I had reason not to trust her. I don't like her, and I especially don't like the idea of you two working in the same school."

"Rachel, nothing is going to happen between us, she made a mistake and apologized for it." Quinn tried to explain, but Rachel didn't have it.

"Don't tell me you believe her Quinn!"

"Look, I told her that I was sorry but that it was best if we didn't see each other for awhile. I thanked her for the coffee, and then I closed the door behind her. After that I called Santana and we met up for lunch. Nothing else happened I promise, and nothing else will! You have to believe me baby, I love you okay, nothing, and no one will ever change that." Rachel nodded as a tear escaped her eye. She believed Quinn, but she knew that Sugar wasn't going to back away, and she worried that it would lead to losing Quinn. She wanted Quinn to hold her, and tell her over, and over again that everything was going to be alright until she believed it, but she also wanted to break down and cry, and she didn't want Quinn around to see that.

"Rach, are you okay?"

"Yes, I am." Rachel said as she wiped away her tears.

"I just think it's best if you leave."

"Rachel, I'm sorry. Please don't do this."

"I forgive you, and I believe you Quinn, it's just that I really want to be alone right now." She let out a long sigh before she continued.

"I- need time to process everything, because it's all too much for me, and I- I can't help but feel that I've already lost a piece of you, and like you're not all mine." She started to cry as she finished speaking and instinctively Quinn pulled her towards her and held her tightly as she peppered kisses all over her face.

"Baby I am yours one hundred percent! You never have to question that okay?" Rachel just nodded, but it didn't make the fear dissipate, and she still wanted to be left alone.

"Thank you Quinn, I truly appreciate your words, and you must know that they mean the world to me, you mean the world to me, but I hope you can understand that I need to be left alone." Rachel looked up and saw the look of disappointment on Quinn's face. It looked like she was about to dispute Rachel's plead, but instead she remained quiet as she broke away from the hug.

"Okay, but please promise me that you're going to be alright, and please promise to call me when you get the chance." Quinn implored as she tried to keep her unshed tears from making an appearance.

"I will, and I am sorry I'm requesting this from you, I know it can't be easy for you to accept it, but it means a lot to me that you respect it." She said as she reached for Quinn's hand.

"And I do promise to give you a call later on, I'll be okay you don't have anything to worry about. I'm sure daddy has raided the apartment of any alcohol." She said with a giggle, but the look on Quinn's face let her know how humorous she found it.

"Rachel! That's not funny!"

"I know, I'm sorry I was just trying to lighten up the mood, however I do apologize, sometimes I feel like I have no filter." Quinn broke out into a barely there smile and nodded.

"Yes, we need to work on that filter of yours." Quinn said as she leaned into peck Rachel on the lips. She didn't pull away, but she didn't kiss her back, and that broke Quinn's heart.

"Okay, well I guess I'll be leaving, please don't forget to call me when you go to bed." Rachel just nodded.

"I love you."Quinn said before she stepped out the door.

"I love you too." Rachel said, and with that Quinn's figure disappeared behind the door.

When Quinn stepped out of the room, Rachel let herself fall on her bed and let her tears drive her to sleep, she had learned that sleeping things off was the only thing that helped her cope with

whatever problems she had with Quinn, and at that moment she wanted to escape. Quinn didn't know what to do, she just knew that she didn't want to leave Rachel alone, especially because of what it had lead to the last time. She wouldn't forgive herself if Rachel ever harmed herself because of something she did ever again, but she wanted to respect Rachel's decisions and she left. On her drive home she decided to give Santana a call to let her in on what had happened.

"Damn it Q! Don't you dare ever do this to me again! I was worried sick! You realize that I had to call Berry, and almost ended up telling her about the kiss, because I wanted to make sure that you were okay?"

"Well she knows now…"

"What do you mean she knows now?"

"Well after you called she found it suspicious that you and I had not only met up for lunch, but that we got into an argument, and I didn't even bother to inform her, so she did what Rachel does best, and interrogated me."

"Jesus, and what did you tell her? How did she handle everything? Are- you okay?" Santana asked genuinely feeling concern for Quinn, because although she didn't agree with Quinn's method of handling the situation she still felt bad that it backfired on her, and kind of felt guilty about it.

"Yea I'm okay, I think that she handled it very well. I mean she was upset, to say the least, but she tried to handle it as calmly as possible, she just asked that I gave her some alone time, which is why I called you. I really don't like the idea of Rachel being alone right now, and Ishmael is out running some errands for her, so I was um wondering if maybe you could go check up on her when you get the chance, and let me know how she's doing?" Quinn asked timidly, because neither she, nor Santana had made an effort to apologize about their previous argument.

"Yea Q, you don't even have to ask. I was planning to stop by after work, but I might just finish off this paper work and head right over."

"Thanks San, and I- I'm sorry about walking out on you earlier. I was just frustrated and terrified about having to tell Rachel, but in the end you were right, and if I had spoken to her before she got suspicious I probably would be beside her instead of making my way to my cold empty studio." She let out a sigh as her mistake became clearer by the second.

"You don't need to apologize Q, I know you were frustrated, just know that I'm always on your side, even when it doesn't appear that way. If I tell you something it's only because I have your best interest at heart, and I'm always going to look out for you whether you like it or not blondie! You're stuck with me until the end." Santana finished with a laugh and shortly after they ended their phone call.

As Quinn was entering her studio's building she noticed a white envelope on the floor, with her name on it. She picked up and inside was a card from Sugar.

_Quinn,_

_I know that you asked for some space between us, and I respect it, but please know that this is really hard for me. I wish I had never been honest about my feelings for you. I should have kept everything to myself, because the risk of not having you in my life (even if it is just as a friend) is much too high. I don't want to lose you Quinn. You're the only friend that I have here ever since I moved from Ohio, because of Rory. I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused in your marriage, but please allow me to make things better. Let Rachel know that want to treat her to lunch so that I can apologize. I just feel horrible about everything. I should have never kissed you. Please forgive me. Give me a call when you get the chance._

_ -xoxo Sugar_

After Quinn read the card she thought about calling Sugar, but decided that it was best if she ignored it for the time being. She didn't need more reasons to have Rachel mad at her, and although she believed Sugar, she was beginning to think that maybe it was going to be necessary to end her friendship with the girl once and for all. It hurt her to consider that because over the years she and Sugar had gotten very close, and she had been a great friend to her during her separation with Rachel. There was also the bonding that they did because they both experienced what it was like to have a cheating partner, and in a way, that alone brought them closer together, so it did make her sad to think about her friendship ending. She forced herself out of those thoughts as she checked her email, in case she had any new emails from work. Sure enough there was a whole new set of emailed applications that she had to review and make sure to include recommendation letters when needed. As she was scrolling down her inbox she saw a message from a familiar person, and she almost had to do a double take before she clicked it open.

_Hey Q, _

_This is Brittany; we used to be in the cheerios together back when we were all in Lima. Hope you still remember me. I know we haven't spoke in awhile, but Lord Tubbington has been messing around with my laptop and somehow gets to my email before I even get the chance to read it. Okay so maybe it's just that I'm bad at keeping in touch through technology and Lord Tubbington has nothing to do with it. Sometimes I wish we were back in high school when it was okay for me to use him as an excuse to avoid confrontation. I guess I'm writing to you, because we had made plans to meet up whenever I was in town, and well I'm here until Sunday afternoon for a gig that my dance studio from back home participates in. Maybe you can even come see me dance? I would say bring Rach, but I don't if you guys are back on speaking terms. I hope that you guys are, because I hate it when you both have your sad little panda faces. Seeing you guys sad makes me sad as well. I don't know if you still have the same number, but I do so just give me a call when you get the chance. I hope to see you, because I missed ya more than infinity and beyond._

_ P.S._

_I still don't know what (P.S) means, but I always see people do that at the end of letters, and then I thought it was kind of funny because if you think about it the P and the S together make a sound that you do when you want to tell someone a secret, so I guess it makes sense to include it in emails and letters. Well anyway I was just wondering if you had any news on Sanny? Is she still with Joe, is he treating her well? I really hope she's happy, and that you're taking care of her for me. Well I'm going to go because we have to meet up for rehearsal, but give me a call when you have free time. Don't forget okay, tie a red string around your finger if you have to. Sometimes that works for me, but sometimes it doesn't because I forget to look at my finger, but I know you won't forget. Talk to you soon ; )_

_ -It's Brittany Bitch_

As Quinn read the email from Brittany she couldn't help but smile, and chuckle at some of the comments that her friend had made. Even after so much time she was still the same and it brought her some comfort in knowing that in spite of everything Brittany was still a ball of energy and positive hope. What kind of threw her off though, was that Brittany asked her about Santana. Hadn't she read the email that Santana had sent her? It had been a couple of days since that so by now she should have gotten to it. She debated on holding off on the reply until she could show it to Santana, but decided on emailing Brittany on her own.

_Britt- Britt,_

_How are you my lovely? It's so good to hear from you, and I would love to see you dance, and you would be happy to know that Rachel are back on speaking terms so maybe we can both see you perform after all. It's been way too long since we've seen each other and you're very much missed my duck princess. I hope Lord Tubbington is behaving himself, and that he allows you to read this email, before he can dispose of it ; ). Sometimes I miss high school too, although when we were there I always dreamt of leaving that place, so that Rach, and I could finally live together without being bothered. There are moments when I wish we were all back in high school, because at least in high school we all had each other, and sometimes I really miss that. I guess that's what happens when you take stuff for granted. Anyway it's always nice to walk back down memory lane, so I look forward to meeting up for lunch catching up._

_ P.S_

_You're right about the noise the P and the S make together, I can't believe I never thought about it before, but your theory certainly makes sense : ). You asked me about Santana, have you not heard from her recently? It was to my understanding that she had emailed you, or something. Maybe it didn't go through, well San is doing well. I would like to say she was doing great, but a big part of her has been missing so I know she won't be great until she has it back. Would it be okay with you if she came to see you dance as well? Let know what you think. If you're free during dinner time let me know, maybe we can go eat at our favorite diner, just thinking about it makes me hungry. I miss ya Britt, and I'm really happy you're here! Can't wait to see you!_

_ -Q_

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><p><strong>So that was update 11, I know it was a lot shorter than my recent ones, but I did it that way, because I wanted to bring Brittany into the story. Let me know what you guys think in regards to that. Also I want to point out that I appreciate the amount of honesty I receive. I know a couple of people haven't been pleased with me because of my last updates, just know that everything happens for a reason, and in the end it is a Faberry story so keep that in mind ;) Thanks for your time as always guys it means a lot to me.<strong>

**-A girl I once knew**


	12. Chapter 12

**I am so sorry for the delay on this update; school has been pretty intense lately, but I plan on updating once a week now. Thanks for the reviews, and the patience.**

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><p>When Quinn left the apartment Rachel was left to mend with her frustrations the only way she knew how, but when sleep no longer did the trick she decided to take a shower and get dressed. She didn't care if her doctor had written her bed rest. Her father had been away all morning and afternoon, and if she stayed home alone any longer she knew she would go insane. She didn't really know what her destination would be, she just knew she had to get out, and hopefully whatever road she took would lead her straight to Sugar.<p>

She wanted to confront her once and for all. Who did she think she was? Quinn might have fallen for her little tricks, but Rachel was none the wiser, and she knew from the very beginning that Sugar had other intentions with Quinn. It was clear from the very first moment she came across her. She saw the looks she aimed at Quinn when she thought no one was looking, but Rachel caught her, she always did.

As Rachel reached for her front door she saw the door knob slightly turn, but before she even had a chance to freak out Santana popped her head inside.

"Berry, where do you think you're going? Get your butt to bed now, afore I go all Lima Heights on you!" Santana said with a smirk across her face, but wiped it off the minute she saw Rachel frown.

"Rach, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just don't want to be here anymore." She said with a sigh.

"But you have to rest, those were the doctor's orders, until you were able to keep your solids down he didn't want you to do things that required a lot of energy, so get your ass to bed now!"

"No!"

"What do you mean _No_? Rachel if I have to carry you to bed I will, but I know you won't let it get to that point, so stop being stubborn and get to bed now!"

"No Santana! I am not a child, and I would appreciate it if you stopped treating me like one, because I really am not in the mood, and all I want to do is get some fresh air!" Rachel rambled as she stomped her foot.

"Does your behavior have anything to do with what Sugar did?" Rachel raised her hand to get Santana to stop talking.

"Don't mention that name in my house!"

"Woa Rach calm down, I know that you're upset, but this isn't good for your health so just try to relax." Santana said she placed her hands onto Rachel's shoulders.

"I can't San, I'm really angry, and although normally I don't approve of violence I really feel like punching someone, and you're not making things any easier for me. I just need to get out of this house before I go crazy. I need to get these images of Quinn, and that woman out of my head." She said was a desperate tone.

Santana nodded as she guided Rachel to the couch in her living room.

"I know Rach, I really am sorry about that. Do you want to talk about it?" Rachel nodded as she wiped away a lone tear, and Santana gave her a warming smile.

"Short stuff, don't let this get you down. You and Quinn are better than that; you can't let this get to you."

"How could I not? Do you realize what this means? It means that I was right all along, and Quinn completely disregarded everything that I ever told her, and chose to believe another woman who she hardly even knew, over her own wife! She betrayed me from that moment, and because of that I did something that I will never fully forgive myself for." Santana let her arms do the talking as she pulled Rachel into a hug; she had no idea that this would affect her so strongly. She figured that Rachel would have taken it a lot better because she always suspected something, but it wasn't like that at all.

"Rach it's okay hon shhh"

"I don't know if it is okay San, what if she chooses her over me?"

"What do you mean, what If she chooses her over you?"

"Well she has San! From the moment she came into her life that's how it's been. The night of our reunion she spent the entire night texting her, and didn't even notice how flirtatious I was being with Finn. I was only doing that to get her attention, but she still left my side to be there for her. What if she has feelings for her, but chooses to ignore them? I love Quinn, more than I ever thought possible, but I don't know if I can get past this, I don't know if we can be us again without having to worry, about that woman getting in the way. I know we had started working things out, and I was really beginning to believe that we were going to go back to normal, but now I don't know"

"What? Well what do you plan on doing Rach? Have you even spoken to Q about this? She told me she thought you took it well, but it doesn't seem that way to me."

"I know, when she left I was still kind of in shock, I mean I've always suspected something was going on, but it's whole other thing when it gets confirmed, and I don't know what I'm going to do. All I know is that I need some time away. My daddy is supposed to head back to Lima at the end of this week, but if it's possible I'm going to get us tickets back to Lima for tomorrow morning. I just need to retrace my steps, and there is nothing like going back home for that to happen." Santana didn't expect to get that sort of response from Rachel. Lima had always been a place they wanted to flee from, but now Rachel was planning on going back to get comfort. She never thought she would see the day.

"Well how long do you plan on being there? What about your play?"

"I don't know maybe a couple of weeks, I can always see a doctor there, and my understudy is great, nowhere near as great as me, but she will get the job done while I'm away. I think it's for the best." Santana chuckled at Rachel's vanity, but stopped when she thought of Quinn.

"When are you telling Q?"

"I'm not" Rachel stated as she avoided eye contact with Santana.

"Rachel, that's not fair. I know you're upset, and you have every right to be, but she still deserves to know. How would you feel if she got up and left town without letting you know?"

"I just don't want to deal with it San, if I call her to let her know my plan she's going to freak out and everything will be blown out of proportion, and I really don't want to go through that right now, please understand." Santana just shook her head.

"I understand where you're coming from, and I won't bring it up to Q, but if she asks me I am not going to keep it from her, because not only is she my best friend, but she has the right to know Rach, and nothing you say is going to change my mind."

"I suppose that is fair." Rachel said with a smirk.

"I'm glad you understand, now let's get something to eat, I had lunch with Q, but after our argument I lost my appetite so now I am starving, how about I make us some tomato soup with grilled cheese?" Rachel just nodded as Santana made her way to the kitchen.

While Santana was cooking her phone went off, and she asked Rachel to get it for her.

"Um it's Quinn; I really don't want to answer it, especially if she's calling for you."

"Fine I'll get it, but you stand here and stir the soup." Santana instructed as she took the phone from Rachel's hand.

"Q, what's up?"

"San, you will never believe who I got an email from this afternoon."

"You're right, I don't know."

"Come on San at least try to guess."

"Q you know I hate guessing games." Santana whimpered

"Santana come on guess, just once and if you don't get it I'll let you know."

"Um I don't know, Judy, Sue, Mr. Shue?" Santana asked as she placed her right hand on her hip, and gave a confused look to Rachel who was questioning her.

"No, I guess you really are a bad guesser. How about you come over that way you can see the email yourself."

"Really Fabray, you called me to make me guess and you're still going to leave me hanging!" Santana huffed as she heard Quinn chuckle. She didn't know who had emailed Quinn but if it was enough to put her in a good mood in spite of her situation with Rachel she really wanted to know.

"So are you really going to make me wait?"

"Well I suppose I can tell you, but you have to promise to come over later. Are you still with Rachel? I text her but she never replied back I figured she was taking a nap or something?"

"Yea I'm still with her, I'm actually making us something to eat Ishmael is still out so I don't want to leave her alone until he gets here, but she doesn't have her phone on her. I think she left it charging. I'll let her know you text her."

"Thanks San, I know it must be a pain in the ass to be stuck in between the both of us, but I really appreciate it, and I'm sure Rach does too. Let her know that I'm really sorry, and that I love her very much!" Quinn said she let out a long sigh.

"I will Q, and I already told you that you don't have to thank me for any of that. You guys both mean a lot to me and I'll always be here for you guys even when you make it difficult. So are you going to tell me who emailed you?"

"Right, um well you were close to guessing when you mentioned the couch, but then slipped away. Brittany emailed me. She wrote me a very sweet message letting me know that she was going to be here this weekend, and invited me to go see her dance crew perform. She asked about you, but from what she said it sounded like she never got your email." After Quinn finished speaking she waited for Santana to give her a reply, but it didn't seem like she was going to get one, so after she checked to see if the call was still going she spoke again.

"San, did you hear me? It was Britt who called. Are you there?" She barely heard a response but it was there.

"Yea, I'm here."

"Are you okay? Maybe I should have waited for you to get here to talk about it. Are you okay to drive? Do you want me to come get you?"

"No, I'm fine I just can't believe she emailed you and never got back at me."

"San it seems like she never got your email. She asked if Joe was treating you well. Are you sure you sent her the email, and that it didn't stay as a draft?"

"I don't know Q, but I'm going to let you go. Once Ishmael gets here I'll head to your place."

"Okay San, but please be careful okay?"

"See you later Q."

When Santana got off the phone Rachel turned off the stove and immediately wrapped her arms around her friend.

"What's wrong San? Is Quinn alright?" Santana just nodded as a sob escaped her mouth, and that only worried Rachel more. It was rare to see Santana break down like that without having to consume any drinks, so Rachel held her tighter, and walked her into the living room where they sat down on the couch.

"What happened Santana?" Rachel asked soothingly.

"Britt, she's here, and she emailed Q- but he never messaged me." Santana said as more tears rolled down her face. Rachel was still confused, she figured Santana would be happy to know that Brittany was in town, but what did any of that have to do with Brittany emailing Quinn, and not messaging her?

"Okay, you're going to have to catch me up, because I still don't see how this is a bad thing. Shouldn't you be happy that Britt is in town? That means you can talk to her, and make things better." Rachel said as Santana shook her head, and got off of the couch.

"No Rachel, I emailed her when you were in the hospital, because her sister told me that she would be here for some type of dance gig, but she never replied back. I know I don't deserve for to give me the time of day, but it hurts that she didn't bother to tell me she was here, even though she messaged Q."

"Well are you sure she received it? Britt doesn't hold grudges, and whenever she and I happened to email each other she would always ask about you. I'm sure she would be more than happy to hear from you."

"I don't know Rach, I pushed her away. I broke her heart. I don't deserve to hear from her, but I miss her, and I will always love her."

"That's why you need to speak with her. You need to explain to her why you did what you did."

"Do you honestly think she'll believe me? Put yourself in her shoes; if Q would have done to you what I did to Britt would you forgive her?" Rachel just shook her head.

"Quinn and I are- we're a different story, and you more than anyone know how much I love her and how much I've fought for her, so if you love Britt anywhere as much as I love Quinn you will fight for her."

"Pft yea, you love Quinn so much you're planning on leaving without telling her."

"Hey! That's not fair. I need some time away, and I have every right to go back to Lima if I want to. When Quinn and I first took the break she lasted six long months without even answering my text messages, so how is this any different?"

"Rachel you're running away, how can't you see that?"

"No I am not running away! I taking a time out, I need to get away from all of this to come take care of it with clarity, and maybe that will give Quinn enough time to decide what she wants to do."

"Berry you and Quinn give me a headache, but apparently I can't really do much about that right now, because I have to deal with Britt Britt, and it terrifies me. What if when I see her I can't help but jump straight into her arms? What if I want to kiss her? What if- she moved on?" Santana let out a sigh before she continued.

"I don't know if I can handle seeing her in the arms of another person. That will completely break me Rachel, maybe it's best if I don't see her."

"No San, you need to speak to her! You owe it to her, and to yourself to see her, even if it is for closure. Just let time take care of everything else. Go with what feels right."

"Well if I do meet up with her you have to let Quinn know about your trip to Lima."

"Santana, that's not fair you can't mix my situation with yours."

"I'm not mixing them up; I just don't want you to have any unresolved issues between you guys. If you leave without telling her you can risk her getting closer to Sugar. Is that what you want, because by doing that you're leaving the door wide open for her."

"No that's not what I want! I just feel like I'm not me right now. I feel so much that I don't feel anything at all. I'm numb San, and that scares me because last time I felt like this I did something that I could never take back. I don't like feeling this. I like being in control of my emotions and actions, and right now I feel like I can't do any of that. I want to go home and find the girl who wasn't afraid to take a stand. The girl who went against all odds and stood behind what she believed even if it meant she would be tormented for that. I can't confront Sugar until I find her." Santana nodded, she understood what Rachel was talking about and she hoped with all her heart that her trip back to Lima would have good results.

"Okay Rach, just promise me that you won't push Quinn away if she tries to reach out to you. I'm sure that if you explained to her how you felt she would understand."

"I'm sure she would, but to be honest I'm very upset with her for allowing us to get to this point. I love her more than anything, but I'm hurt that she chose to believe a stranger over me. I'm her wife San, not a fling, not a girlfriend, but her wife! The person she chose to spend the rest of her life with. You would think that that would mean something to her, but she disregarded it, and look at us now. I just need some time. That's all I ask for."

Rachel said as she made her way back to the kitchen. She was done discussing her plan. She loved Quinn with every part of her being, and during their time apart she missed her terribly, but like Quinn had said once before _sometimes love isn't enough_. She wasn't ready to throw in the white towel, but she knew that in order to look past the whole situation she had to go find herself before she lost herself completely.

It was around nine pm when Santana made her way to Quinn's studio. Quinn had been working on college applications to keep her distracted so it took her some time to realize someone was at her door.

"Oh hey San you got here just in time I just ordered a pizza. I was waiting for Britt to reply to my email in case she wanted to get dinner together, but she never got back at me." She said as Santana walked towards the couch and sat down.

"Thank I am actually not hungry Berry and I ate together while I was over there, but about- Britt, what did the email actually say?" Santana said as she moved the stack of applications out of the way to make room for Quinn.

"Well pretty much what I told you, but you can see it for yourself." Quinn said she went for her laptop. Once she was logged in to her account she place the laptop in front of Santana and waited for her to read through it. Once she has read it Santana let out a long sigh.

"This doesn't make any sense."

"What doesn't make sense?" Quinn asked completely confused.

"Well I checked my outbox on my phone and it went through, so she should have gotten it. I just don't get it." Santana said she ran a hand through her hair in frustration.

"Well maybe she accidently deleted it before she opened it, or maybe it went to her junkmail, regardless of that she still asked about you. That's a good sign San, and she asked me to take care of you. You should definitely meet up with her." Quinn said as she placed a comforting hand on Santana's shoulder. Santana leaned into Quinn's hand and broke into a little smile because Brittany referred to her as San, and asked Quinn to take care of her. That gave her hope; it wasn't a lot but enough to leave her content.

"I just hope she hasn't moved on with anyone, and I hope she can forgive me, and work on us even if we just start off as friends. I just miss her so much Q!" Santana said as a tear streamed down her face, and she thought about Rachel's plan. She couldn't allow her friends to make the same mistake, she had to tell Quinn.

"What's wrong San?" Quinn asked when she saw Santana tense up.

"I- have to tell you something about Rachel. She asked me not to tell you, but you have to know."

"What is it San, is she okay?" Quinn started to panic as she thought of Rachel in her hospital bed.

"She's fine Q, relax."

"Well then what is it San, don't scare me like that again."

"Okay I'm sorry, but I do have something to tell you so sit down." Once Quinn made her way back to the couch Santana began speaking.

"San spill it!"

"Well apparently Berry didn't take the whole Sugar kiss as well as you thought she did,"

"What do you mean?"

"Well she's very upset, and she wants to go away for a bit."

"Go away for a bit? Where to, and why hasn't she told me any of this?" Quinn asked as she arched her eyebrow.

"I don't Q, she just said that she feels lost, and wants to back to Lima to find the Rachel she used to be. You have to understand where she's coming from Q, she just found out that she had a reason to be suspicious, and it has triggered all of those initial emotions." Quinn placed her head into her hands and she allowed the entire new information sink in. She knew Rachel was upset, but she didn't think it would make her want to runaway, and it upset her that she planned to do it behind her back.

"This isn't fair!" Quinn shouted as she got up and grabbed her car keys.

"Quinn, where are you going?"

"Where do you think?" Quinn asked with a chuckle.

"Quinn you need to cool down, I'm not going to let you go to Rachel's house like this. Do you want your father in law to see you all fired up? If I told you about it wasn't so you could barge into her apartment and go all HBIC on her. I wanted to let you know what her plan was so you could reason with her."

"Reason with her? Come on San she's planning on leaving me, and doesn't even want to tell me. That's not something to reason about. I need her to tell me herself. I need to hear it out of her mouth! When is she planning on leaving?" Santana felt like she had opened a can of worms and she didn't know how to contain them. Quinn deserved to know what was going, she didn't need to act like a barbarian.

"When is she leaving Santana?" She asked when Santana remain quiet.

"You can't tell me that she's planning to leave, and not tell me when she's planning to do it!"

"I know Q, but I didn't expect for you to react this way."

"Well how else am I supposed to react? I thought we were working things out, but clearly I was wrong, and it wasn't even like I cheated! She was the one that fucked Finn!"

"Quinn!" Santana shouted she understood Quinn was mad, but she wasn't going to sit there and let Quinn refer to Rachel so negatively.

"Oh that's right I forget you're team Berry!"

"Quinn get your head out of your ass before I force you to! What's this crap about me being _team Berry_? I'm not on any team! I look out for the both of you whether you realize that or not. You need to calm down. I know you're upset, but if I told you it was because I thought you deserved to know, and now you're making me second guess myself! Rachel is scared okay? She may have slept with Finn, but she didn't do it with a clear frame of thought. That is why she wants to find herself. If you haven't been able to fully forgive her for that, imagine how she's struggling with that herself." Quinn realized she had blown things out of proportion, but Rachel's decision had really caught her off guard.

"I don't want to lose her!" Quinn said as she slid to the ground, and Santana approached her.

"You're not going to lose her hon, go talk to her, but do it calmly. That's the only way you'll get her to listen you. You need to keep in mind that she's just as scared as you are, and if you really don't want to lose her you have to hear her out and listen." Santana said as she helped Quinn up and walked out with her. Once outside Santana walked Quinn to her car and told her to call her if she needed anything at all.

Although Santana's pep talk had calmed Quinn down before she drove to Rachel's place, the drive there didn't do her so well. Thoughts of Rachel leaving her without telling her brushed through her mind and it pissed her off. They were still married, how could she even consider doing that right when they were in the middle of fixing themselves.

When she got to Rachel's front door she didn't even bother knocking she used the spare key that Rachel had left underneath the carpet, and didn't take the time acknowledge Ishmael while he was reading on the couch. She went directly towards the bedroom that she and Rachel once shared, and shut the door behind her catching Rachel off guard as she packed.

"Don't forget to pack your medicine." Quinn stated bitterly

"Quinn- what are you doing here?" Rachel asked as she turned from her suitcase to face Quinn.

"Well I came to say good bye, because apparently you don't think it's necessary to do so, even though I am still your wife!" Quinn shouted as she approached Rachel, causing Rachel to break into a sarcastic laugh.

"Oh how convenient of you to remember that I am your wife! Why didn't that cross your mind when that bitch got in the way?" Rachel shouted right back, setting Quinn off even more.

"Yea you didn't seem to think of that when you fucked Finn either!" Quinn spat out, and was stunned when she felt Rachel's cold slap right across her face.

"Fuck you! Fuck you Quinn! What gives you the right to tell me that when you didn't even care that I was flirting with him right in front of you! You were too busy texting that whore while I was fighting for your attention! So fuck you!" Once Rachel was done speaking Quinn grabbed on to Rachel's wrists as tightly as she could with a cast on.

"Fuck me then Rachel! It's my fault then fuck me!" She spat out as she pushed Rachel against her bed until the back of her knees made contact with it. Rachel immediately switched gears on Quinn, pulling her down with her the moment she hit the bed. Quinn was directly on top of her, but there was no question about who was in control. Without much warning Rachel slid her thigh in between Quinn's, and gripped on to Quinn's hips forcing friction between her thigh and Quinn's center. The moment Rachel's thigh made contact with Quinn's a loud moan escaped her mouth.

"Fu- ck Rachel! Don't fucking stop!" Was all she was able to get out before Rachel captured Quinn's bottom lip into her mouth, and immediately slid her tongue inside. It drove Quinn insane and she couldn't help but grind harder down onto Rachel's thigh. She felt herself coming undone quickly. She couldn't remember the last time she had been in a similar situation and it was becoming too much for her to handle, but she wanted more. She wanted Rachel all over her. Rachel felt Quinn grind harder every time she brought her thigh up. She knew what Quinn was doing, but there was no way she was going to let her off that easy. If Quinn was going to come it was going to be under her terms. Who did Quinn think she was being all demanding out of nowhere? Rachel knew that they were in for a long night of passion, but not the way she had expected it. Instead of them making love they were fucking, and with each kiss the anger surfaced, so when she discovered what Quinn was doing she slipped her thigh out from between them and sat up causing Quinn to whimper at the loss of touch.

"I know what you're trying to do, and it isn't going to work Quinn! How could you do this! How could you let someone break us! You promised we would be okay! You promised!" Rachel shouted as tears made an appearance on her face. Quinn wanted to say something, but before she could speak, Rachel was already straddling her hips and rocking hard against her. Another loud moan escaped her throat. It really had been too long.

"God Rachel!" left her mouth before Rachel leaned down and began attacking Quinn's pulse point. At first she just sucked on it, but the moment she felt Quinn grip onto her thighs for more she bit down hard, and Quinn groaned both in pain and pleasure. Rachel was claiming what was hers, even if she was going to be away Sugar needed to know that Quinn was hers, and that she was off limits.

Once Rachel was done attacking Quinn's neck she decided she needed more, she wanted all of Quinn, but the blouse she was wearing was getting in the way. She tried to unbutton it but quickly lost her patience so she tugged on it as hard as she could until it came apart and the buttons scattered all over the place. Once the blouse was no longer an issue she allowed herself some time to indulge in the image beneath her. She wanted to make love to Quinn, she looked gorgeous and was completely under her control, but she was angry, and she didn't feel like being gentle so she roughly tugged on her bra until two erect pink nipples made an appearance causing her to whimper in need. She needed to taste them she needed to suck on them. So she did just that, and she felt herself soak through her own underwear, and sweats as she latched her mouth around the nipple and flicked her tongue at it, definitely causing Quinn to moan in return.

"Fuck Rachel! Please I need…" Rachel couldn't help the smirk that appeared on her face when she heard the tone of desperation in the way her wife pleaded for more.

"What do you need Quinn?" She teased as she husked her voice and bit down on one of Quinn's already sensitive nipples.

"I need you- I need you inside of please."

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Rachel asked, but she didn't even wait for a response. She quickly unzipped Quinn's pants and pulled them down along with her underwear. She brushed her whole hand across her Quinn's opening making Quinn shiver and whimper at the touch. Normally she would have taken her time, but she wasn't about to do that. This wasn't about taking her time; this was about making a point to Quinn. Quinn belonged to her, and no one else. As she thought that she envisioned Sugar kissing Quinn and the anger within her surfaced once more, so without warning Quinn she slid three fingers deep within her as she began to thrust inside Quinn. Almost instantly Quinn began to clench shut around Rachel's fingers. With every thrust Quinn whimpered and moaned Rachel's name for more. She needed more, but she knew Rachel wasn't going to let her have it that easy.

"I'm so close Rach!" She shouted, and it was a mistake, because the moment she said that Rachel pulled out.

"No you're not Quinn! You'll be close when I say so!" With that she began to rub circles against Quinn clit, building up her tension even more.

"Rach- please I just…"

"You just what Quinn? Are you going to continue allowing other women to kiss you even though you're _my _wife, even though you're mine, and only mine!" Rachel shouted right before she entered Quinn once more, only this time instead of three fingers she used four, and Quinn didn't stand a chance. After three thrusts she was gone. Rachel had taken every piece of her the only way Rachel knew how. Once Rachel helped Quinn ride out her orgasm she collapsed directly on top of her, and felt Quinn wrap her arms around her as she tried to catch her breath.

"Rachel- I…" Quinn tried to speak, but stopped when she felt Rachel's hand on her lips.

"Please don't say anything Quinn, just hold me. I need you to hold me until I fall asleep." Rachel said as a muffled cry threatened to escape her mouth, but Quinn kissed it away, until she felt sleep take Rachel away from her, shortly after sleep consumed her as well.

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><p><strong>Once again I am so very sorry for how long it took me to update! I hope this update made up for it, and I hope you all can forgive me and let me know what you think? It will be greatly appreciated. I also promise not to make a habit out of this. It was only a onetime thing ; )<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for the reviews, and for continuing to add this story to your favorites, and alerts. I really appreciate it, as well as your input!**

**I also wanted to point out something that I found rather interesting with the previous update. Usually I get people telling me that they hate Sugar and some that aren't pleased with the way Quinn has handled the situation, but it has never been about Rachel until now. I always enjoy reading everyone's opinion, and it kind of made me smile to hear this about Rachel. It's just nice to have things balance out a bit. With that said I hope you guys enjoy this update.**

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><p>Quinn was forced to wake up when she felt the warmth of the sun rays brush across her face as they glimmered through the bedroom window. She grunted and shuffled around trying to reach for Rachel, but found nothing. She would have questioned whether last night had actually happened, but her naked body made it a little difficult to debate it all together. Half asleep she sat up and quickly searched for her clothing, as she heard the shower in their bedroom go off. Without even realizing it she let out a breath she was holding. Watching Rachel step out of the bathroom in just a towel caused her to break into a smile. She found some sort of comfort in knowing that not only had she spent the night with her, but that she hadn't left her in the middle of the night.<p>

"I thought you had left me." Quinn said as she threw on her torn blouse.

"I wouldn't- sorry about your blouse." Rachel said avoiding eye contact as she tossed her towel on the bed, and replaced it with her bathrobe.

"It's okay it's just a blouse, but I will need to borrow a sweatshirt or something, because I can't really step out half naked." Quinn said with a smirk, as Rachel pulled out an old t-shirt from her closet.

"Hey! This was my favorite cheerio t-shirt. I thought I had lost it!" Quinn shouted as she arched her eyebrow at Rachel.

"No, I guess I _accidently_ mixed it in with my stuff the same way my Barbra blanket mixed in with yours"

Caught in her lie Quinn couldn't help but let out a chuckle, causing Rachel to join right in. She was actually relieved with the response she was getting from Quinn. Even though she had exhausted herself to sleep after their intimate encounter, she woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. It had been so long since Quinn held her the way she was holding her, especially in their bedroom.

She wanted to enjoy the moment as best as she could, after all there was a time when she didn't think it was possible for them to be in the same room, much less in each other's arms. She desperately wanted to find comfort in that detail alone, but she couldn't. She had Quinn all to herself, but not in the way she wanted her.

She wanted to know that the girl she had married was there one hundred percent, not just physically. She wanted them to be okay. She wanted Quinn to wake up with her, and spend the night holding each other until the morning light snuck up on them. She wanted to know that Quinn was okay with what had happened. She needed to know that her wife didn't regret any of it, even though she kind of did.

She didn't regret being with her wife, but she regretted the way it happened. She was careless, and took what she wanted not once taking Quinn into consideration. It was all about what she wanted, and what she needed. She needed to take Quinn. She needed to know that she was still hers, and she didn't care what it resulted in. At least that's how it was while they were in the act, but when she woke up, and she watched the woman beneath her sleep it broke her heart. She loved Quinn more than anything in the world, and it scared her. So far the love that they had for each other, had left them both torn up, and even resulted with them fucking. More than anything that was what bothered her; sure they had been rough with each other before, but not without reassuring eye contact and gestures. They always took their time, and it was never selfish, unlike what had happened between them that night.

As soon as she saw the first speck of dawn make an appearance she gently unwrapped herself from Quinn and made her way into the bathroom. She secretly hoped that while she was in the shower Quinn would wake up, and let herself out. She didn't want to deal with the reality of what the night had meant, and all the trouble that would come with it. When she walked out she was confronted with the image of Quinn trying to cover up with a torn blouse, and her worries slowly vanished.

"That obvious huh?" Quinn asked as she put her t-shirt on.

"Yes, and although I find it kind of sweet that you took it as a memento, I still think it was cruel of you to take it without any notification." Rachel said as she crossed her arms.

"What makes you think I took it as a _memento_?" Quinn asked with a smirk.

"Well it wasn't by accident, because if that would have been the case you would have found it when you unpacked and sent it to me with Santana. You were always very verbal when it came to that throw blanket, so I know it was no accident." Rachel said as she mirrored Quinn's smirk causing Quinn to chuckle once more, and she couldn't help but feel butterflies set at the pit of her stomach. Loving that girl scared her, but everything about that same girl made it worth it. Rachel never knew how Quinn managed to make her feel so secure and hazardous at the same time, but that's how it was with them from the very beginning.

"Well you're right. At first I took it out of spite, but I'll admit that it helped me sleep at night when I- missed you the most." She whispered the last part out but Rachel heard it, and reached for her hand.

"I did the same with your shirt. I wore it so much it became my daily uniform, until I spilled coffee on it, and decided not to wear it again. I feared washing it. I didn't want your scent to dissipate in case I never had the opportunity to smell it again." Rachel said as she gave Quinn's hand a squeeze.

"Well you don't have to worry about that anymore. I'm here Rach, and I am not going anywhere." She tried to pull Rachel into a hug but she pulled away from her catching her off guard.

"For how long Quinn? How long do I have until someone else comes and takes you away from me once more? How long until you realize that you're _the _Quinn Fabray, and I am just Rachel Berry, the same Rachel Berry that you so easily kicked to the curb when it became inconvenient to be my friend." Rachel said as tears escaped her eyes.

"Rachel, I- where is this coming from baby? I know I was an asshole in high school, and I will always hate myself for that, but I thought we had moved past this long ago?" Quinn asked as stepped closer to Rachel, but still gave her the space she had requested.

"I don't know Quinn, maybe we never really did move past it, maybe it's the reason why our marriage is falling apart… maybe you and I just aren't meant to be." Rachel said in a deflated tone

"Baby, don't say that! I know you don't believe it one bit, so why do you say it? I know our lives together haven't been a walk in the park, but it's just part of what makes us _us_. I love you more than I ever thought possible Rach, and even though it hasn't always been easy I wouldn't change any of it. I mean obviously I would avoid all the pain and suffering that I've caused you, because you don't deserve any of it. You never have, and you never will. I want to make things right with us. I want you to trust me again, and I want you to feel secure about us. I don't want you to feel like you have to fight just to keep me, because I am already yours, and I will always be." She paused to read Rachel's face, and when she didn't show resistance she pulled her into a hug before she spoke again.

"Please don't leave me Rachel; I need you here with me. I am not complete if you're not around." She pleaded as she tightened the embrace.

"What about Sugar?"

"What about her?"

"Can you honestly tell me that you aren't even the slightest bit attracted to her?"

"Rach, come on we've been over this so much."

"Just please answer the question Quinn, I need to know." Quinn remained quiet causing Rachel to pull away from the embrace.

"What do you want me to say Rachel?"

"Geez I don't know Quinn, maybe the truth?" Rachel spat out.

"Okay so maybe I do find her attractive, but that doesn't mean anything. There are a lot of attractive women out there, but they don't matter to me Rachel, because I only want you!"

"Of course it means something! You work with her, and she told you that she has feelings for you! I've seen her flirt with you! Have you- do you flirt with her?" Rachel asked already sounding wounded, and once again she received silence from Quinn.

"Unbelievable Quinn!"

"Rachel, I didn't say that I did!" Quinn shouted aggravated with how quickly their moment had spiraled out of control.

"You didn't have to; your silence gave you away!"

"I stood quiet, because I really wanted to give you an honest answer. I know I have a flirtatious personality. I've always have, but I never intentionally done it with Sugar, or with anyone since you and I have been married. Do you honestly think that I would go out of my way to jeopardize the most important thing in the world to me?"

"No, but I did! I let my insecurities get the best of me, and I hate myself for that Quinn! I hate myself so much!" Rachel shouted as she let herself fall to the ground, and Quinn quickly curled in next to her.

"Baby, I don't blame you for that night." Quinn said as she held her in her arms once more.

"Yes you do! And you have every right to!"

"But I don't baby so stop saying that."

"You do Quinn! You shouted it last night." Quinn remained quiet as she recalled her angry ramble from the previous night.

"I was angry Rach, I said that because I was hurt but it was wrong of me to say it. I am so sorry sweet heart." Quinn said as she peppered kisses at the top of Rachel's head.

"But I slept with Finn!" Rachel shouted, and although Quinn didn't want to show remorse, hearing that slip out of Rachel's mouth made her cringe.

"Rach, he took advantage of your condition! You said it yourself; the last thing you remember was entering his room. He should have stopped the moment he realized how intoxicated you were, and he didn't! I swear if I ever run into him again, a black eye will be the least of his worries."

"No Quinn! If you're going to be mad at someone be mad at me! I may have been really intoxicated when I entered his room, but I wasn't drunk when I was flirting with him at the reception. I- I wanted to make you jealous; I wanted you to ignore your phone, and pay attention to me! I thought that if you saw Finn show interest you would come back to me, but you didn't even notice. You were so wrapped up in what was going on with Sugar that you didn't even see what was going on before you. I didn't intend for my flirtation to go anywhere, but when you left me there I was so angry, and I didn't want to be alone." Quinn held on to Rachel tighter as she began to sob and tremble.

"Shhhh Rach, it's okay." Quinn cooed as she held a take in of air.

"It's not okay; I slept with him while being married to you! I betrayed you because I thought you had found someone else!" Rachel shouted between sobs, and it was really confusing for Quinn. What was she aiming at with her rant? They had already established it was a mistake, and they decided they were going to move past it, so she had no idea what was going on.

"Okay Rach, you don't have to keep repeating it. I get it, it happened, but I forgive you. I forgive you, and now I want to apologize. I am so sorry for ever making you feel like I wasn't there. I am sorry for making you feel like someone else was taking me away. I am so sorry that I made you feel like high school was happening all over again."

As Quinn finished her sentence it hit her. This outbreak wasn't just about the past six months; it was about everything they had been through. Rachel had always felt like she had to fight for Quinn's attention, even back in the sixth grade. She always carried cherry _Jolly Ranchers_ with her, because she knew they were Quinn's favorite, she quit Ballet and joined gymnastics because Quinn enrolled in that instead. She always aimed to please Quinn, and all Quinn had done was push her away, making her feel like she wasn't wanted, when in reality it was the total opposite.

"Oh Rachel, I am so sorry!" Quinn shouted once more as cupped Rachel's face to stare into her favorite pair of dark brown eyes.

"Just promise me that you won't push me away. I can handle you no longer loving me, but to be dismissed by you completely, as if I never existed, that I could never do again." Rachel sobbed as she buried her face into the crook of Quinn's neck.

"Baby, you never have to worry about that ever happening again, ever! I was an idiot in high school, and I let fear get the best of me, but it won't happen again, I promise you!" Quinn said pulling Rachel out from her neck to seal her promise with a chaste kiss.

"But I screwed up Quinn."

"Honey I've screwed up so many times before, and you never gave up on me! What makes you think I'll give up on you? You're stuck with me Rachel Berry-Fabray! You're mine, and I am yours forever." Quinn said as pecked Rachel on her lips once more.

"I'm just scared that it's going to come up again, and I don't want to screw up anymore!" Rachel said with a pout that caused Quinn to smile. She was never able to resist that pout; it had the ability to melt her insides.

"Don't pout Rach, you know I can't resist it."

"But I'm being serious right now Quinn. I am really scared!"

"Look… I'm not going to tell you not to be scared, because the truth is that I am scared too, but I am more scared of living my life without you in it. Those six months apart were a nightmare, and the worst part was that it was a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. It won't be easy to completely move forward from this, because we have a lot of skeletons in the closet, but there is always help out there. We can go to couple's therapy, whatever it takes as long as we get through it. Okay?" Rachel just nodded in response.

"Would you really agree to counseling?"

"Of course babe, there is nothing wrong with that. It will only make us stronger, and we'll have someone other than Santana to deal with our problems." Quinn said with a giggle.

"We've put her through a lot already, so she definitely deserves a break."

"Yes she does, she was taking the whole Brittany situation pretty bad. I felt horrible for burdening her with our problems." Rachel agreed.

"Yea, I just hope she makes an effort to see her while she is here. She owes to herself and Brittany even if it is just for closure."Rachel nodded once more, and remained quiet enjoying every minute of being in Quinn's arms.

"Rach…"

"Mhhmm"

"I was thinking, and maybe you should go to Lima?"

"You- want me to leave?" Rachel asked timidly.

"No! Of course not silly, but I do think that some time away from here will do the both of us some good."

"So you're coming along?" Rachel asked with a smile.

"Well I would have to meet up with you, but that is the idea. I've already maxed out on my sick days so I kind of have no choice, but to show up. We can either all head out Friday after I get out of work, or you guys can head out before that and I'll meet you there. It's been awhile since I've been back home, and I really wouldn't mind seeing my sister and the kids, and our god daughter who is getting so big now."Rachel couldn't help but smile, Quinn was painting her the perfect get away image and she couldn't contain herself.

"Quinn that sounds marvelous! I can't wait!" She shouted as she moved to sit on Quinn's lap, and wrapped her arms around her neck.

"I love you baby, so much! I'm sorry that I've allowed my insecurities to get the best of me, I just- it's just I've already experienced what is like to be ignored by you once before, and just to imagine it happening again kills me inside Quinn."

"Shhh… You don't have to be sorry about anything, we will move past this."Once again there was silence until Rachel spoke again.

"Quinn…"

"Yes baby?"Feeling the warmth that came with the term of endearment she allowed herself to ask the question.

"Can you sleep with me tonight?" Quinn just gave her a blank stare in response.

"I don't mean sexually, I just want to go to bed in your arms, and wake up in your arms."

"Are you sure you won't leave me with an empty bed?" Quinn asked with an arched eyebrow.

"About that, last night… that was different Quinn. That wasn't us, well I mean it was us, but not the healthy us. I was selfish last night, taking you how I wanted not caring about what you needed. I couldn't allow myself to wake up with you holding me after that. I- I felt guilty, like I didn't deserve you."

"Sweet heart, you will always deserve me! So don't ever think that you don't, and about not giving me what I wanted? I honestly don't know what you're talking about, because you gave me everything I wanted, and more! Six months was a long time so trust me when I say that I got just what I wanted, and needed." Quinn said with a wink and a smirk, causing Rachel to turn a light shade of pink.

"But I didn't tell you that I loved you. I didn't make love to you… I just took what I wanted. I wanted to know that you still belonged to me. I was selfish with what I took from you, and didn't even take my time to show how much I love you! I've never done that before, and I never want to do that again." Rachel said as she nuzzled into Quinn's neck to hide her face, causing Quinn to let out a sigh. She didn't want Rachel to feel bad about their encounter from the night before, because she loved every aspect of it, but she suspected that Rachel's guilt came from something that she still hadn't forgiven herself over, and she didn't want to be insensitive.

"It's okay to be selfish when you love someone. There is nothing wrong with that, but I don't want you to worry about me not belonging to you, because that is not an issue. I am yours, and I trust that you know exactly what to do with me in every aspect. I've learned that love is a lot deeper than what appears on the surface. There is no actual way to capture it, because it can be manifested in many different ways. Sometimes it's easy to be in love, and sometimes it's not, but that's okay, because nothing that is worth anything in life comes easy, and we're worth every obstacle that comes across our path. You're worth it Rachel! I can only hope that I am worth it as well." Rachel held on to Quinn with everything she had, she wanted to show Quinn just how much she loved her, and how grateful she was to have her in spite of everything that they had been through but she didn't even know where to begin.

"I wish I had the rights to the _Jolly Rancher_ factory, that way I would give you all the cherry _Jolly Ranchers _you have ever dreamed of." Quinn couldn't help but laugh at Rachel's comment. She knew it was Rachel's way of reassuring her that she understood what she meant, and she was worth the struggle as well.

"I'm kind of glad you don't. I don't know about you, but I kind of like my teeth, and if you had the rights to the factory, I know you would spoil me rotten." Quinn said causing Rachel to giggle in her arms.

"I'm kind of afraid to say this, but I'm going to say it anyway. I am really happy right now, the happiest I've been in a very long time, and I owe it all to you! Thank you for putting up with me, and thank you for not losing hope in us. I want to move past this, so we can keep moving forward with our lives. I want a family with you. I want to raise kids, and I want to grow old with you, as we spoil our grandkids. You're my everything Quinn, and I want to trust you the same way you trust me. I really do, and I know that with time I will. I just hope you can understand and help me through this. I also need for you to be patient with me when it comes to what happened six months ago. I- still haven't been able to forgive myself for that, and I know that in order to really move on I have to learn to do that. I know it's a bit unfair of me to request that from you, but I hope you can help me."

"Of course baby! I'm your wife, and I will help in any way that I can. I am your other half, and I am not going to leave you ever again. I will always be here when everything becomes dark and scary. I will always be here to catch you when you're falling. You'll never need to worry about that. This will make us stronger than we were, and we well get all of that. We will have our kids, and we will grow old watching our grand kids. We will get all of that sweet heart I promise."

"I love you Quinn Fabray!" Was all Rachel could say in response but was caught off guard when Quinn gave her a pout, and she understood what Quinn meant about not being able to resist _the pout_."

"What's wrong?"

"You said Quinn Fabray! I am not Quinn Fabray! I am _Quinn BERRY-Fabray_, and don't you ever forget that!" Rachel broke out into laughter and pushed Rachel to the ground, as she allowed herself to lay directly on top of her.

"Of course! Please do forgive me _Mrs. BERRY-Fabray_, how could I forget that."

"It's okay; just don't make a habit of it Mrs. Fabray!" Quinn responded as she guided Rachel's face down to hers until she was able to make contact with her lips, and captured them with hers as she slipped her tongue inside. She allowed herself to fully enjoy the bliss that surrounded them. She was happy, and she didn't have any doubt about them working out. She trusted that Rachel would take care of her, and she was going to do whatever she had to, to show Rachel that she could trust her as well.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you guys enjoyed this update. It was a lot cheerful to write than the previous ones so I hope you liked it. I really want them to start moving on from what happened at the reunion, but I am still not done with Sugar. I apologize in advance to those of you who don't really like her. Let me know what you think : )<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Update 14**

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><p>"Babe just ignore it!" Rachel shouted as Quinn searched for her phone under the piles of clothes that surrounded their bedroom floor.<p>

"I can't It's San's ringtone, and we've already let it go to voicemail five times. If neither of us answers she is going to barge in here and kill us! She's probably just worried, because I never called her back last night."

What Quinn and Rachel didn't know was that Santana wasn't worried, at least not for the reasons that Quinn considered. When Ishmael started to hear the moans and shouts coming from his daughter's bedroom he quickly gathered his things for the night and called Santana. There was no way he was spending the night in that apartment if those sounds were to remain throughout the night.

"Hello"Quinn answered hesitantly.

"Fabray! It's about damn time that you answer your phone! I know that you and Berry are busy getting your mack on, but YOUR father in law is here wondering if it will ever be okay to step foot in that apartment again. You two really scarred him for life."Santana chuckled the last part of her rant.

"Shit" Quinn muttered under her breath.

"Is he okay? Did you pick him up last night? Let him know that I am so sorry it was never my intention for things to happen the way that they did, but one thing lead to another and before we both knew it… well you know."

"No I don't know please do tell." Santana teased as she recognized the embarrassed tone coming from Quinn's voice.

"Santana I'm serious is he okay?"

"What's going on sweetie?" Rachel asked from her bedside as she grew concerned with Quinn's outburst.

"Nothing it's just that last night your father left our apartment after, well you know?" Quinn mumbled as she motioned between her naked body and Rachel's underneath the covers, instantly her normal porcelain cheeks became a shade of rosy pink and Rachel couldn't help but smile. She loved how shy Quinn became whenever it came to discussing their intimacy.

"Why are you smiling Rachel? Your father, my father in law heard us last night! He felt so uncomfortable that he had to leave this very apartment!"

"Baby, calm down I'm sure he's fine and plus it's not like that would be the first time." Rachel said with a wink.

"Rachel! That's not funny, I feel terrible!"Quinn said with a pout as Santana shouted over the phone.

"Fabray! Quit talking to your wife and pay attention!"

"Sorry, I was just letting Rach know the reason behind your call."

"Yea well Ishmael just wanted me to let you both know that your little encounter caused both Berry to miss their flights this morning, and he also wanted to know if it was safe to go back home?"Quinn let out a long sigh before she spoke.

"I am aware of that, Rachel actually rescheduled their flight for later on tonight, and I'm going to meet up with them Friday after noon, and he can def come home, does he need me to pick him up?"

"No I can give him a ride, have you guys had lunch yet? And I think it's great that you both are taking some time to get away from here. It will be refreshing, and that's just what you need."Quinn shrugged before she spoke.

"Thanks I hope so, and no we haven't eaten, do you mind picking something up on the way?"

"No hay problema, and you have nothing to worry about Q, it'll be the perfect get away, plus I'm sure Judy is dying to see you."

"That she is, and if I'm honest I miss her as well as my sister and the kids." Quinn said with a smile as she pictured what it would be like to spend time with her family.

"Okay blondie, I'll see you and short stuff in a bit and you both better be dressed! I don't need a reason to barf before we even have lunch." Santana hung up before Quinn even had a chance to reply.

"What's wrong baby?" Rachel asked as she motioned for Quinn to rejoin her on the bed.

"Nothing it's just Santana Lopez being Santana Lopez." Quinn said as she nuzzled up to the crook of Rachel's neck causing her to giggle.

"I love that."

"My neck?"

"Well that too, but I meant your giggle, I could listen to that for days and never get tired of it" Rachel smiled, and leaned in to capture Quinn's lips with her own.

"Babe as much as I enjoy this, and trust me I really enjoy this, we really have to get up and get dressed because Santana and your father on their way and I really don't need any more of Santana's teasing."

"Ugh Quinn but I've really missed this, couldn't they just drop off the food and give us some more privacy? I mean I am leaving later on tonight, and I won't see you again until Friday."Rachel gave her a pout, but she was quickly met with Quinn's arched eyebrow, and smirk.

"Rach that's only a couple of days away, before you know it I will be right with you so we can spend some time with our god child, and spoil her for all the time that we've missed out on." Rachel squealed causing Quinn to break out in laughter.

"What was that all about?"

"I'm just excited! Who would have thought that I would ever be excited to spend some time in Lima, all I ever wanted to do was get away from that place, and now I can't wait to head back, and spend some quality time with my wife and family."Quinn looked straight into Rachel's eyes allowing herself to get lost in her favorite pair of dark brown eyes, her safe haven, her home.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked when Quinn didn't speak.

"Nothing, I was just focusing on what you were saying, and I couldn't help but lose myself in your eyes."

"Baby…" Rachel said as a tear rolled down her face.

"Aw Rach, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you."Quinn said as she wrapped her arms around Rachel.

"You haven't upset me Quinn, on the contrary you have made me very happy, and I assure you that these tears are happy tears, but it does make it harder to leave you tonight."

"It will only be for a couple of days babe"

"I know, but I'm afraid of leaving our bubble now that we have found it again."

"Don't worry about that Rach, we'll be fine. This trip will do us both some good you just wait and see. Now let's get out of bed and get ready because they won't be any longer."

Just as Rachel was making her way into the living room she heard a knock coming from the front door.

"About freaking time Rachel, no don't worry I don't need any help." Santana said as she made her way to the kitchen with the bags of food in her hands.

"Santana my daddy is already helping you, and you only knocked once! You haven't had your coffee yet have you?" Rachel asked as she crossed her arms. Santana glared at her and flipped her off while Ishmael took out some plates for the Chinese food.

"Santana that was highly uncalled for!" Rachel said as she pulled out the instant coffee she had purchased after her first encounter with Quinn.

"I'm sorry it's just that my coffee spilled on the way here, and I had only taken one sip!" Santana said with a big pout on her face.

While Rachel was busy preparing Santana her coffee Quinn snuck behind her and held her from her waist.

"That smells so good; did you get a new coffee pot?"Quinn felt Rachel tense up and immediately regretted what she had asked.

"No I haven't I just got some instant coffee because I haven't had time to go look for a new pot, and Santana is in desperate need of caffeine."

"I heard that!" Santana shouted from where she was sitting at the breakfast bar.

"That's because it was intended." Rachel said as handed Santana her coffee.

"Rach can I talk to you really quick?"

"Sure, what's wrong?" Rachel asked as she followed Quinn into their bedroom.

"I um I just wanted to apologize about the whole coffee pot incident. I didn't even mean to bring it up, and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable by doing that."

"You don't need to apologize Quinn, I mean it did make me a bit uncomfortable, but only because it reminded me of how hard it was to be near you around that time, especially because I couldn't hold you or touch you. I'm just glad that we found a way to move forward." Rachel said reaching out for Quinn's hand as she gave her a smile.

"Me too" Quinn said before they were interrupted by Santana's shouts.

"Really you two? Ishmael is getting uncomfortable again!"Rachel rolled her eyes as she led Quinn back to the kitchen.

"Daddy, Quinn and I apologize if we made you feel uncomfortable, but I assure you that this time we were just holding a conversation."The older Berry avoided his daughter's eyes as he took a sip from his tea and nodded.

"You have nothing to worry about sweet heart, Santana was exaggerating. I am actually glad you two are really working things out." He said as he glanced to Quinn with a smile letting her know that she had nothing to be worried about.

After lunch Rachel sent Quinn and Santana to the store to buy her some last minute toiletries for the trip.

"So how far did you allow Rachel to get with her packing before you mounted her?" Santana asked, and she was met with a fist to the arm.

"Fabray! You're lucky you're driving or you would so be dead!"

"Whatever Lopez you deserved it!"

"What? Why? I was just wondering!"

"Well it wasn't like that."

"Please stop with all the detail, it's making my head spin out of control."Quinn flipped her off as she reached a red light.

"I don't know if you remember this piece of detail from driver's ed, but you're supposed to keep both hands on the steering wheel!"

"We're at a stop light, and maybe both hands would be on the steering wheel if you stopped being such a jerk!"

"Okay, geez I'm sorry for being insensitive. I forget that you're a bore when it comes to your sex life!"Santana said with a smirk.

"Santana! You're still a bitch you know that?"

"Sure am! But you know I love you, and I'm only messing around. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." She said giving Quinn a pout that caused her to break out into laughter,

"You're such a dork!"

"I am not! I am still as bad ass as ever, and I can still throw it down like we did in Lima Heights!"Quinn just rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious Q!"

"I know you are San, but you have to admit that it's kind of funny to see you lash out like that when you haven't stepped foot back in Lima since we graduated."

"Yea well you can take the girl out of Lima, but you can't take the Lima out of the girl."

"I see that." Quinn said with a smirk.

"Okay Q is you really not going to tell me how you and Rach got your mack on?"Quinn let out a long sigh before she gave in.

"It's really nothing special, for it being our first time in six months, at least, that's not how I expected it to happen. I mean I don't regret it or anything, I just didn't think that it was going to play out that way."

"Come on, I thought we had left Berry at home, would you quit rambling and get to the point?"Quinn arched her eyebrow before she continued.

"She was in the middle of packing her things when I snuck up on her. I was furious and immediately pulled out the wife card on her, letting her know I thought she was selfish for planning to leave without telling me. One thing led to another and before I knew it I pulled her on top of me and we landed on her bed… and well you know the rest."

"Woa so for once you took the charge? That's kind of hot."Santana said giving Quinn a wink.

"God sometimes you're no better than Puck you know that?"

"Pft Puck is more like me! He wishes he had as much game with the ladies as I do"

"San, you haven't dated anyone since B left, aside from the one night stands you've had here and there."Santana didn't say anything at the mention of Brittany and was happy that they had arrived at the store so she could make her escape from the car. Quinn noticed Santana's body language change up, and waited until they were both out of the car to approach her again.

"Have you heard from her? She's here until the end of the week San. Maybe you should go look for her?"Santana just shook her head as she grabbed a shopping kart as she led them inside the store.

"I don't want to bother her Q, if she wanted to speak to me she would have answered her email."

"What if she never got it? From what she sent me it seemed like she never received it, and she asked if Joe was taking care of you. I mean come on Joe was so long ago, if we could even consider him anything more than a cover up, a lie that was used to drive her away in the first place."

"Q can we just drop this! I am in no mood to discuss the whole situation, don't you think I already know that that was where I screwed up the most."

"Okay San, but I am not bringing this up to make you feel bad, I'm simply bringing it up because it implies that she obviously still care about you, and she clearly didn't receive your email, or she would know that there is no Joe, that there never was a Joe."Quinn said as she walked through the deodorant isle.

"I've checked my outbox time and time again Q, it says it sent, so there would be no reason for her not to receive it, and maybe she just asked for me to be polite."

"Okay San, if that's how you want to think then don't mind me and my crazy ideas, but you know Brittany better than anyone else, and you know that she isn't one to hold grudges, so at least hold on to that before you completely dismiss the idea of meeting up with her,"

"Well have you heard from her since you replied?"Quinn smirked before she replied.

"I thought you were done talking about this?"

"Come on Q, you know how hard it is for me to even consider seeing her. I am out on a limb here, and it scares me to admit it, but I would give anything for one more chance to make it right with B,"

"I know San, and I am very proud of you for being honest with yourself and stepping up to the plate. I actually haven't checked my email since last night. I was a bit distracted with Rachel, but if she did you should come with us when we grab lunch."

"Do you think that it would be okay with her? I don't want to show up out of nowhere and throw her off guard,"

"I really don't think it will be an issue, but I'll let her know that you're tagging along just to be sure."

Once they had everything on Rachel's list they made their way to the parking lot, just as they were reaching Quinn's car they heard a familiar voice calling from behind, and neither of them could believe it.

"Q!" Brittany shouted as she ran up to her and scooped her up in her arms.

"B! What are you doing here?" Quinn asked the moment Brittany let her out of the embrace.

"I told you I was in town silly! I know you know because you sent me email, didn't you get my reply? I'm sorry I couldn't meet up with you for dinner we had some last minute practice." She said motioning to the tall, handsome tan guy beside her.

"Sorry to keep her away from you, but she is our best dancer and I really needed her to help me with the new recruits, I'm Luis by the way."The guy said as he offered Quinn his firm hand, and Santana tried as best to keep her face hidden behind Quinn.

"Hi, nice to meet you I'm Quinn, and this lovely lady behind me is Santana." Quinn stepped aside knowing very well that she had sabotaged Santana's plan of hiding.

"San!"Brittany shouted as she rushed to Santana's side and hesitated to hug her.

"I didn't even notice you; I was so excited when I saw Quinn that I didn't pay attention to see if anyone was with her. Can I- is it okay if I hug you?"Involuntarily Santana nodded but didn't say a word; she just allowed her arms to do the talking. God how she had missed the blonde in her arms, it felt so natural and all too familiar. She could swear that nothing had changed except it had, and Brittany's freshly toned arms were proof of that. It was obvious that the girl had been working her ass off.

"You look great San, even better than the last time I saw you. Not that you didn't look good the last time because you've always been hot!" Brittany said causing Santana to blush and smile.

"Thanks Britt Britt, you've always been hot too."Santana stared straight into Brittany sky blue eyes and felt her heart rate begin to raise, in spite of all the time apart Brittany still made her feel like she falling in midst air. Their staring contest was to put to an end the moment they heard someone clear their throat.

"I'm sorry I really hate to steal Brittany from you guys once more but we really need to get going. We have a list of things to get before practice again and we're running short on time." Luis said as he reached for Brittany's hand, and Brittany nodded.

"It was really nice to meet you both; hopefully you guys can make it to our show tomorrow night."

"Yea you guys have to come, and bring Rachel too! I've really missed her too."Brittany said smiling at Quinn.

"Yea, well Rach won't be able to make it because she's off to Lima tonight, but S and I will def be there!"

"I um, actually I don't think I will be able to make it. I have a lot of work and stuff, but I'm sure Q will fill me in." Santana said making sure she avoided Brittany's eyes.

"Q we should get going they're in a hurry and I don't think Berry would appreciate us dragging with her things." Quinn nodded as she reached for Brittany and pulling her in to a warm embrace,

"It was so nice to see you Brit, and I can't wait to see your show tomorrow, maybe we can grab a bite to eat afterwards?"Quinn asked as she pulled away.

"Yea that sounds great, what do you think Lu?" The tall guy gave her a smile and nodded.

"Sure I don't see why not."Brittany squealed with excitement and walked towards Santana.

"Maybe you can meet up with us for dinner, after you're done with work and stuff?" Brittany asked pleadingly, but once more Santana avoided eye contact.

"Yea, I don't know Brittany; I have a lot of stuff to do."

"It's okay, I understand. It was still very nice to see you." Brittany said as she tried to hug Santana, but all she received was a hand shake.

"Yea, you too" Santana said as she reached for the car door.

"Q, can we get going?" Quinn just nodded and gave Brittany an apologetic smile as she walked away.

"I'll see you tomorrow Britt!"

"Okay Q, drive safely."Brittany said as she waved good bye.

"What was that all about?"Quinn asked once they drove off.

"She's with him Q! I lost her and I don't need a constant reminder of that, so there is no way I'm going to be around them just to see the way he fucks her with his eyes! Just the idea of him kissing her makes me sick to my stomach."Santana said as she wiped away any evidence of tears wandering down her face.

"San, you don't know that for sure, and if that is the case what did you expect? You're the one who pushed her away; she had every right to move on."

"Don't you think I know that Quinn? Of course she deserved to start over, but that doesn't mean that I want to be around to witness it. I'm glad she is happy, but I can't tolerate to see her with anyone else."She said as she placed her head in her hands and sobbed.

"Oh San, I'm so sorry, but we don't know for sure that they're together."

"Oh please Q, don't tell me you didn't catch the way he looked at her, and how quick he was to pull her hand out of mine. They're together, and it sucks, because I never stopped loving her! I'm the one that is supposed to look at her that way; MY hands are the ones that are supposed to hold her not his gross gigantic sasquatch hands."Quinn couldn't help but let out a small chuckle.

"This isn't funny Q! It really hurts!"Quinn placed a hand on Santana's back.

"Aww hon I'm sorry! I truly am it's just that I couldn't help but find the hand comment funny. You were obviously paying more attention to him than I was." Santana let out a sigh.

"Well of course I was! I had to make sure he was good enough for Britt, and although I hate to admit it, he doesn't have a bad face." Santana said with a pout, and she was right the guy was actually quite good looking; he had jet black hair that was styled in a sort of fohawk and honey brown eyes which gave her dark brown eyes a run for their money.

"You know San aside from the color of his eyes; I would say he was sort of the male version of you." Quinn said with a smirk.

"Oh hell nah! How could you even go there? It's bad enough that I had to admit he was good looking, there is no way we are similar, and plus that would be very weird."Quinn scrunched up her face and nodded.

"Yea you're right that is kind of weird, but I think that you should reconsider going to Britt's show with me. She looked really happy to see you, and it wouldn't hurt to talk things out."

"I don't know, if I had to give you an answer right now I would say no, but I guess I can think about it."

"Good you owe it to yourself, and if you feel uncomfortable at any moment I promise to come up with an excuse so we can leave. I got your back S."Santana gave her a smile and nodded. The rest of the drive to Rachel's apartment was silent, as Santana contemplated whether or not she should go to Brittany's show or at the very least meet them up for dinner. She was really putting herself out there, and even though she was conscious of her wrong doing it didn't make things easier for her.

"What took you guys so long? I was just about to call you."Rachel said the moment Quinn entered through the front door.

"Well I wanted to double check that we got everything on your list, and when I was certain that we had gotten everything we made our way out, but before we got into the car Brittany ran into us."Quinn said glancing at Santana just to make sure it was okay to bring it up.

"Wait Brittany, our Brittany?"

"Yes Rach, I don't know any other one."Quinn said as she handed Rachel the bag with her toiletries.

"Oh my God Santana, how are you feeling? Did you talk to her? What did you say?"

"Woa Berry! One question at a time please" Santana said as she made her way into the living room so Quinn and Rachel followed.

"I'm sorry Santana, but really how are you feeling?"

"I feel the total opposite of what great feels, she moved on Rach, and I know it was stupid of me to think that she didn't but in spite of that I still hoped that she hadn't. I mean I haven't." Santana said as the tears strolled down her face and Rachel pulled her into her arms.

"I am so sorry sweetie, if there was anything I could do to help I would. Maybe you guys need to talk things through?"Santana just shook her head.

"No there is nothing to talk about, I just have to accept the fact that she moved on and that she is doing just fine without me in her life."

"But you don't really know that San, you just assume that she's getting along fine, but it's been so long since you guys spoke to each other how can you know for sure?"

"I know because I saw the smile on her face. I was the only one who ever made her smile like that and now someone else is the reason behind it. What kind of person would I be if I got in the way of that? When you really love someone you have to do whatever is in your hands to make them happy, even if their happiness doesn't include you." Rachel just shook her head at that.

"That is just the thing Santana. You let her go the first time, because you assumed that she would be happier dancing than living here with you, not once did you give her the option to choose you, you chose for her claiming that she had no reason to stay behind because you had fallen in love with Joe, when that wasn't the case at all. What did you expect Brittany to do?"Santana just sobbed in Rachel's arms as Quinn went to the kitchen to make her some tea.

"Shhh sweetie it's okay I promise things will be okay, look at Quinn and I. Who would have thought that we would be where we are now? Nothing is impossible San, if you really love her you should fight for her, or at least let her choose."Santana nodded and tried to speak, but her sobs didn't allow her to.

"I'm scccarr"

"I know it's scary San, trust me. Every single time that I made an effort to reach out to Quinn, I was always surrounded by fear, because I knew that there was always the potential of me getting hurt if Quinn pushed me away, but knowing that there was a slight chance that she might let me in was worth it. That slight chance was reason enough for me to keep holding on." Rachel smiled as Quinn returned with the warm tea and handed it to Santana.

"Thanks Q, thank you both."Santana said once she had taken a sip of her tea and her sobs subsided.

"I really appreciate everything you guys do for me, and I really want to step up and fight for Britt, but every time I consider it, I can't help but think that I don't deserve to have her back in my life. I feel guilty just thinking about getting in the way of her happiness now, especially since it's been so long."

"That's a valid fear to have S, but just like Rach said it's time to let Britt decide, you've been deciding for her and it isn't fair for you to assume that she would send you away the moment you approached her. Besides, while you were busy staring at Luis' hands I was busy staring at the way Brittany looked at you. She looked at you like you were God's gift from heaven."Santana let out a laugh at that and couldn't help but smile.

"Was she really staring at me like that?"Quinn nodded with a smile.

"Yea she was. It kind of reminded me of the way she would stare at you after Cheerio practice when it was time to shower, and well you know the rest of that." She said as she rolled her eyes, and Rachel looked at her with confusion.

"Okay first off who is Luis, and why were you staring at his hands? Second off this isn't fair I wasn't part of any of that! In case you guys somehow forgot I wasn't a big fan of your cheerio days, at least not for the first two years of our high school career. You two were terrible to me!" Quinn got up from where she was sitting and pulled Rachel into a tight hug, as she peppered kisses all over her face.

"I am so sorry baby! But trust me, when it came to what they did in the shower it's best that you don't know, and Luis is the guy that Santana believes to be Brittany's love interest" Santana completely disregarded the whole Luis portion of what Quinn said and skipped to her and Brittany in the shower.

"Oh whatever Fabray! I caught you staring at us plenty of times." Santana said causing Quinn's cheeks to skip rosy pink and go straight for a crimson red.

"Excuse me?" Rachel asked as she smacked Quinn on the arm.

"You did what Quinn Berry Fabray?"

"I did not stare Santana! Couch sent me to look for you guys because you were taking too long and you guys happened to catch me off guard, you swear I would ever want to see you naked." Rachel just arched her eyebrow and crossed her arms.

"How many times did this occur?"

"It was only twice babe, and I promise that the only reason I stared was because they caught me off guard, I wasn't being a creep or anything."Quinn said defensively and it caused both Rachel and Santana to break out into laugher.

"Ugh I hate you both!" Quinn said as she tried to get off the couch, but Rachel pulled her down.

"You liar! You know you love us very much!" Rachel said as she pulled her in for a kiss and Santana attacked them with a throw pillow.

"You two are worse than cats in heat!"She said right as Quinn chucked a pillow to her head.

"Right this coming from the girl who pantsed Brittany in front of the whole school just to have easier access."

"Well it's okay when we did it, because we're a smoking hot duo, but it's kind of awkward when you two do it." She said with a smirk as Rachel scrunched up her face.

"I resent that! My wife IS smoking hot, and I will have you know that we once caused a man on his bike to crash into a tree, just because I gave Quinn a peck on the lips while we strolled through Central Park."

"Thank you baby, and I too happen to think that my wife is smoking hot!" Quinn said as she leaned in to capture Rachel's lips.

"Ugh you guys are hopeless!"Santana said just as Rachel pulled away from Quinn and got up to straddle Santana, leaving behind a very disappointed, and confused Quinn.

"Excuse me wife, but what do you think you're doing?" Quinn asked with an arched eyebrow.

"It's all her Q; I promise I didn't do anything!" Santana shouted from underneath Rachel

"Aww babe don't you see she's jealous, I'm just giving her a little attention, care to join me?" Rachel said with a wink as she began to tickle Santana and Quinn instantly joined in.

"Girls! What's with all the noise out here?" Ishmael asked as he walked out of the guest room with the phone in his hand only to come across the tickle war that could easily be mistaken for something else.

"Ishmael!"Santana shouted

"Pleeaaase geeettt theeem OFF of meee!" She tried to say between breathes.

"Sweet heart I am going to have to let you go, because our girls happen to be suffocating Santana. How is it that I always get to watch over them when they are at their worst?" Ishmael questioned before he hung up.

"Girls how old are we again?"He asked as he helped Santana to her feet.

"Yea how old are you?" Santana questioned right as she tackled both Rachel and Quinn on the couch, and Ishmael could only shake his head as he smiled.

"I'm getting the camera, because your father needs to see this."He shouted as he left the living room without any of them noticing him.

"Santana! Get off your elbow is stabbing my boob!"Quinn shouted which only made Santana lean further down.

"Not until you admit that you would love to see me naked!"

"Quinn will say no such thing!" Rachel shouted as she made her way out of the dog pile and launched at Santana causing Quinn to whimper at the extra weight pressed on to her breast.

"Pleasssseee get off of me! I can already feel my boob bruising up!"

"Santana finally rolled off taking Rachel with her, and Quinn instantly examined her sore breast.

"Quit being a baby Q, it's not like Berry hasn't left bruises on your boobs before!"

"Okay I sure didn't need to hear that." Ishmael said as he returned with the camera in his hands

"Next time a trip to New York needs to be done I'm dragging your father with me."Santana and Rachel couldn't help but laugh as Quinn blushed and apologized to her father in law.

"I hate to break up this pleasing moment but it's already 7pm and we're supposed to be at the airport by 8pm because our flight is at you have everything packed and ready to go honey?" Ishmael asked as he glanced to the bag of toiletries that Quinn had purchased.

"She doesn't" Quinn answered for her and motioned for to get to it.

"You really want to get rid of me that easily?" Rachel asked with a pout and Quinn pulled her into a hug.

"Of course not baby, but you've already missed your flight once today, we can't have you miss it again, especially since I will be meeting up with you soon enough."

"I just wish you were coming with me now"

"I know babe, I wish I was going with you too, but I can't miss work anymore."

"I know" Rachel said with a pout as she walked into her room to pack the rest of her stuff.

"Are you coming with me to drop them off?" Quinn asked Santana as she joined her on the couch.

"I don't know are you guys going to keep making out like cats in heat?" She asked with a smirk which earned her an elbow to the ribs.

"Hey, I was kidding, but I don't know I'm kind of tired I might just head home."

"Oh come on, it's too early for you to go to bed, come with me, and afterwards we can go to my place and order pizza while we catch up on _Grey's Anatomy_!" Santana rolled her eyes, but nodded with a smile.

"You had me at pizza, but you're buying!"

"Santana how is it that you're the lawyer, and _I _the guidance counselor is the one buying the pizza?"

"Because it's your house and I'm the guest!"Quinn just rolled her eyes.

"You practically live there, so you're hardly qualified as a guest."

"Well whatever, you're still buying!"

"Fine you cheap ass, but next time it's on you!"

"I am so not cheap! I just bought you and Berry lunch today!" Santana said shoving into Quinn.

"Is it too much to ask you two to act your age?" Rachel asked as she sat on Quinn's lap.

"Yea Berry, because straddling me and tickling me is very mature!"Rachel just laughed and nodded.

"It sure is, and you will agree to it unless you want it to happen again?"

"I will not agree to anything!"She said which caused Quinn to arch her eyebrow.

"Oh yes you will because there is no way that MY wife will ever be straddling you again!"

"What are you afraid of Q? Or is that you rather be straddling me?"Santana asked with a smirk.

"In your dreams Lopez!"

"Are you sure it's not in _yours_?"Santana asked causing Quinn to blush once more.

"You know what, it's getting late we really need to get going." Quinn said as she tried to get off the couch, but Rachel pulled her down.

"Exactly when did you have this dream?"Rachel asked with a raised eyebrow, and Quinn let out a long sigh.

"I wasn't straddling her, I had a dream that I walked in on her and Brittany in the choir room and Brittany asked me to join them, but nothing happened because my alarm went off, and this was during my pregnancy okay, so we weren't together yet, it's more embarrassing than anything." Quinn said with a pout, which caused Santana to laugh.

"You two are big jerks!" Quinn shouted as she made her way to the door.

"Oh and Santana you're uninvited to our _Grey's_ marathon!"

"What! Why? I was only joking around! Q please! I really want to get my _Calzona_ on!"Rachel just smiled as she watched Santana chase after Quinn. She couldn't believe that things were actually going back to the way they were before their high school reunion. She didn't want to jinx anything, but she was really happy, and found comfort in knowing that Quinn would be joining her in Lima very soon.

* * *

><p><strong>Yea I suck for the length of my hiatus, but this fic still has quite a lot to be covered before it reaches its finish line. I hope you guys are still coming along for the run, and that you forgive me : (<strong>


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